Memories
by Blinded HP
Summary: When Merlin and Arthur found Gwaine in Ismere, the Diamair gifted Arthur with a stone filled with memories, not all his own…
1. Chapter 1

**Memories**

 **Summary:** When Merlin and Arthur found Gwaine in Ismere, the Diamair gifted Arthur with a stone filled with memories, not all his own…

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own Merlin and no profit is made from this work of fiction.

 **Chapter disclaimer:** Words and scenes are taken from S01E07, S01E13, S02E01.

 **Chapter 1: A Gift**

The creature before them smiled at Gwaine's reassurance that Merlin and Arthur were friends. For a moment, it looked like it was going to turn around and slip off into the depths of the caves but then it stilled and gave Merlin a deep penetrating look. Arthur glanced between the two but before he could discern the meaning of the look, the creature gave a slight bow and held out a hand to Arthur.

"A gift, great king. May this help you on your journey to becoming the king you are destined to be, the king of prophecy."

Arthur held his hand out to receive the stone but paused at the end of that sentence. Prophecy? Before he could ask, the stone was deposited in his hand and the creature quickly disappeared into the depths of the caves.

Arthur pocketed the stone, he did not have time right now to think about it, he had to save his knights.

Returning to Camelot, Arthur reported all that happened in Ismere to the council before retiring for the night. It was only as Merlin helped him undress that he remembered the stone the creature had gifted him with.

Taking it out of his pocket, Arthur stared at the stone as Merlin took a step closer.

"What is it?" Merlin asked.

"I'm not sure, perhaps we should ask Gaius."

Merlin nodded and without Arthur even asking, he went looking for the physician.

Arthur twisted the stone around and as he placed it on the table, an image appeared before him:

Arthur stood in a lake with a girl on his right and a man on his left. He was not moving, just standing between the two as they talked.

"Go, they are waiting for you." The man said. "I don't understand, you're coming too." The girl replied.

"Only one of us can pass through. This was never meant for me."

The girl looked shocked and tearful as she replied:

"I only wanted this so we could both return to Avalon."

"Your destiny is on a different path to mine. It is my fate to live a mortal life."

"I do not want to leave you."

"You must! Once the ceremony begins, you have to go through with it. The elders expect a soul. If they don't get his, they will take yours."

"Goodbye. I will never forget you." Sophia tearfully exclaims before taking Arthur's hand and leading him into the lake.

He remembers them now, Sophia had been a beautiful girl and Arthur had been quite taken with her. Yet, he did not remember any of this.

The image changed then, and Arthur could only look on in shock as Merlin made his way into the lake, screaming Arthur's name and diving down every few moments in search of him. How he knew Arthur was in the lake was a mystery, just as much a mystery as to where Sophia and her father had disappeared, but as Arthur watched, he could see Merlin dragging the Arthur in the image out of the water.

Arthur remembered that Merlin had caught up with him and knocked him out with a lump of wood in order to return him to Camelot safely, or at least, that's what he remembers being told.

"What was that?" Arthur turned to find his wife had come in at some time during the scene and held out his arms. "I don't know." He answered. "I don't know."

The door to his chambers opened and Gaius and Merlin entered. Arthur looked at them, then at the stone and picked it up.

"Do you have any idea what this is Gaius? It showed me an image just now, an image of Sophia and her father, you remember them?"

Both looked shocked at this information but Gaius moved forward and took the stone from where Arthur held it out.

"This holds powerful magic, your majesty, the runes inscribed on it are powerful indeed."

Merlin took a step closer, looking at it carefully. "Is it dangerous?"

Arthur looked to Gaius at the question, also wanting to know.

"I do not believe so. The stone holds memories, a lot of memories if I'm reading the runes correctly but they hold no danger to the one using it. The greatest danger would be if you acted on any of the memories without ascertaining their truth."

Arthur looked up sharply, "I know, Gaius. I would never do that."

Gaius nodded and handed the stone back to him.

"Then I believe that there is no need for me to tell you that you should put the stone in the vaults and never speak of it again." With a raised eyebrow, Gaius bowed and exited the room.

"I will take it down tonight, after bringing your supper," Merlin said as he gathered the lunch plates and goblet.

Arthur gave him a look before shaking his head. "No, no need. I'll take it down myself when I have the time."

The look Merlin gave him told Arthur that he was not fooled, that he knew Arthur had no intention of locking the stone up in the vaults.

"Be careful." Was all that Merlin said as he opened the doors and went to fetch supper for his King and Queen.

Arthur picked up the stone and with a last glance at the door, he turned it over again beckoning Gwen closer.

An image of Gaius and Merlin in the Physician's chambers greeted them.

"This is no ordinary beast, Merlin."

Merlin was holding a sword and turning it around in his hand. "Don't worry."

"No, listen to me, you don't understand." Gaius said as he walked closer with a book in his hands.

"Uther may not respect the old religion, but it is very real."

Merlin paid a bit more attention to Gaius then.

"To face a beast such as this, you must understand where it came from."

"What do you mean?" Merlin asked, still inspecting and cleaning the sword.

"At the very heart of the old religion, lies the magic of Life and Death itself. The questing beast carries that power. One bite, you die, and there is no cure."

The seriousness of the situation reflects in Merlin's expression.

Arthur stared at the image in puzzlement. Why on earth was he showed this? Before he could think on it further, the image changed.

Arthur and Gwen were quite confused at first, as it seemed the image started in the middle of a conversation, not the beginning.

"So you know what I've come to ask…" Merlin stated.

"Yes" a lady answered.

"Will you do it?" Merlin asked.

"I do not have the power to mirror life itself and yet give nothing in return."

"I know that a price will be asked." Merlin stated strongly.

"To save a life, there must be a death. The balance of the world must be restored."

"I willingly give my life for Arthur's". The conviction in Merlin's tone was clear to all.

"How brave you are, Merlin." The lady said with a mocking smile. "If only it were that simple."

"What do you mean?"

"Once you enter into this bargain, it cannot be undone." She answered instead.

"Whatever I have to do, I will do. His life is worth a hundred of mine."

The lady turned to the altar and suddenly held a gold goblet.

"The cup of life, blessed by centuries of powerful sorcerers. So that it contains the very secret of life itself. If Arthur drinks water from the cup, he will live."

Arthur and Gwen exchanged a troubled glance when they heard which cup it was.

Merlin slowly stepped up to the altar and took hold of the cup, his decision made.

The lady incanted something, it now clear that she was a sorceress, and it started raining.

Merlin collected the rain in the cup and the sorceress poured it into a small container.

"A bargain is struck." She said and grabbed Merlin's arm, a coy smile on her face. "I hope it pleases you."

The image ends there and Arthur waits for whatever happens next but no other image is forthcoming.

Frowning, he set the stone back on the table. It seemed that the more he watched, the more questions accumulated in his mind.

Why had Merlin done that? He could discern that it had been after he was bitten by the questing beast so he didn't wonder about when, just why?And how had Merlin survived? How had he even known where to go and what to do? The only explanation he could think of was Gaius.

That did not explain the outcome, however. He was fairly certain that the sorceress would have kept to the bargain, she would not have spared Merlin. Her words and sinister demeanor led Arthur to believe that she had indeed taken a life in order to keep up her bargain but it had clearly not been Merlin's life.

Arthur could not help but dwell on the thought that someone had died in his stead. Someone had taken his place when he should have been the one to die at the bite of the questing beast. This was not the same as a knight fighting in a battle for him, this was something deeper, something far more profound. It was something Arthur was decidedly uncomfortable with.

Merlin fluffed the pillows and pulled the blanket up before turning to pick up the breakfast tray.

Arthur watched in silence as his friend and servant cleared away the dishes. He wanted to ask Merlin a lot of questions but he didn't know where to start.

"In Annis's castle, you mentioned something." It was not quite what he wanted to say but it seemed this was what mind had decided on. Merlin stopped and turned to face him.

"Yes?"

"You said that you have many talents I fail to notice. Care to share some of them?"

Merlin's confusion cleared a bit but there was a hesitant expression on his face like he also didn't know what to say, where to start.

"It's nothing, I was just upset and rambling a bit. You know me." The smile on Merlin's face, sheepish, innocent and just a bit forced would have been enough to satisfy Arthur once but he had come to know Merlin well over the years and he knew there was more to it than that.

He wanted to push, to pry, but also knew that Merlin wouldn't answer. Merlin might be an idiot at times but once he clammed up about something, you couldn't get him to talk, no matter how you tried.

"Very well. That will be all, Merlin. Good night."

Merlin gave a half bow and exited.

Arthur waited for Gwen to return to their chambers. They had decided that the stone would not be put away in the vaults as Gaius suggested but that they would watch whatever memories it held together.

Arthur didn't look at Gwen as they watched the next scene, he knew what her expression would be.

Merlin was mucking out the stables and didn't notice when a smoking ball of some sort was thrown in behind him. It took mere seconds for him to fall over, unconscious while a man looked on from the window outside.

That same man released the horses. "Go on. Go and have some fun. Go on."

The horses raced down the street and, in the image, one of the guards pointed them out to Arthur.

Both King and Queen watched as the Arthur in the image crouched down next to where Merlin's head lay in a pile of dung. Arthur didn't have to watch the scene, he knew exactly what happened, but he couldn't help but cringe a bit at his own behavior. He had done what was necessary under the circumstances but knowing now what had really happened, he couldn't help but feel a bit guilty. He watched as this younger version of himself sent Merlin off after giving Cedric the honor of serving him that night.

The scene changed then and Arthur's guilt only increased as they watched.

Gaius cleaned Merlin's face as best he could.

"I am not an idiot." Merlin said softly.

"What happened?"

Merlin sighed and shook his head.

"I just want Arthur to trust me, and to see me for who I really am."

"One day he will." Gaius assured.

"When? Everything I do is for him and he just thinks I'm an idiot."

"Not everyone thinks you're an idiot.

Although, looking at you now…" Gaius continued with a smile and Merlin couldn't help but give a reluctant smile and chuckle as well.

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other, smiles on their faces. Yes, Arthur felt a little guilty at how he had handled the situation but he had learned since then that Merlin was not really an idiot, or, not only an idiot.

"You were a bit harsh with him, don't you think?"

"That was nine years ago! I know he's not an idiot and you know that I value his opinion. He had only been in my service for a little over a year at the time." It was a feeble excuse but Arthur had no other to give.

"I know, Arthur. I know you value him as a friend. And he knows it too, now."

Arthur took comfort in her words and in her arms, turning her toward their bed and slowly stripping them of their clothes.

"Enough about Merlin…"

 **End Chapter 1**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Disclaimer:** Scenes are taken from S02E03, S02E08 and snippet from S05E03.

 **Loyalty**

Arthur had always known that Merlin was uncommonly loyal but after viewing those first three scenes from the stone, he found himself awed and humbled by his manservant.

Going to a sorceress, especially knowing that consorting with one would have had him hanged, in order to save his life was more than Arthur could have ever dreamed him capable of.

"Are you alright Arthur?" Turning around, Arthur smiled at Gwen and pulled her into his arms. "Just thinking. I've always known he was loyal but this is beyond all that I knew already."

"Do you think there is more to it? A specific reason why the creature gave you that stone? I mean, we already know how loyal Merlin is to you, so that can't be it." Gwen gave his hand a squeeze and pulled him to the table.

"What reason could there be? I just don't understand." Arthur stood in front of the table and gently picked up the stone. With a nod from Gwen, he turned it around before setting it back down.

 _There was thunder and lightning as Morgana thrashed in bed, waking up with a gasp. The two observers saw the candle suddenly light itself. She sat up in bed and her eyes glowed the golden fire of magic as the flame leapt up and set the curtain on fire. A scream was ripped from Morgana's throat and the window blew out with the force of her magic._

The scene changed before they could even process what they saw.

 _Merlin was bent over a table in the physician's chambers, blowing out candles when the door opened and Morgana walked in._

 _"Is Gaius here?"_

 _It was painful for both King and Queen to see Morgana as she once was, a lively young woman with a good heart._

 _"No, he's not here at the moment, he should be back soon though."_

 _"I need to speak to him! Where is he? Morgana looked upset and anxious._

 _"He's gone to see the_ king. _" Merlin answered. "What's wrong?" he asked as he could clearly see how upset Morgana was._

 _Morgana looked away and gave a shaky exhale._

 _"You can trust me, Morgana, you know you can."_

 _At a loss for words, it seemed at first that she wouldn't answer but then she did. "I'm scared, Merlin. I don't understand anything anymore. I need to know what's happening."_

 _Merlin clearly didn't know what to say or how to respond._

 _"Please." She entreated._

 _"Gaius will be back soon. He'll help you."_

 _Morgana became upset then. "He won't. I don't want any more remedies! They won't do any good."_

 _The two stared at each other for extended moments._

 _"It's magic, Merlin."_

 _"What?"_

 _"I'm your friend. You know I wouldn't make this up."_

 _"Of course."_

 _"Then you believe me? You think it's magic too? Please, Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it, so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it."_

Both Arthur and Gwen stared at each other in shock. They couldn't tell exactly when this happened but it was clearly before she had betrayed them all. Before her heart had hardened to what it was now. What shocked them though, was that Merlin had known about her magic, known since the beginning what she was capable of.

"Did you know?" Arthur wasn't sure exactly what he was asking. Did Gwen know about the magic? Did Gwen know that Merlin had known? Did anyone know of all these secrets that they were now finding out?

No answer came as the scene had changed once again.

 _Morgana had opened her door to find Merlin standing there with a vial in his hands._

 _"Gaius asked me to deliver this."_

 _"I don't need any potion, thank you." Merlin looked down, he looked a bit upset. "Merlin, ignore what I said last night. I had a nightmare, I was upset."_

 _"I know. I haven't said anything to anyone."_

 _Morgana looked upset and close to tears as she turned around. "I'm sorry, it's usually Gwen who deals with me when I'm like this."_

 _"I don't mind. Maybe I could help."_

 _"I doubt_ that. _" Morgana said, upset again._

 _"You'd be_ surprised. _" Merlin answered and closed the door. Morgana turned around in surprise, knowing that it was not proper to close the door with just the two of them in the room._

 _"I understand. I realize how frightening all this must be for you. Especially for you."_

 _"Why especially for me?"_

 _"You're the king's ward. You know his hatred of magic better than anyone."_

 _"That's what you think has been happening to me? The dreams, the fire. You think it was magic!"_

 _"I'm not saying that" Merlin quickly disagreed._

 _"But it could be, couldn't it."_

 _"I wouldn't know, but there are people who do."_

 _"Who?"_

 _"What about the Druids? They help people like you." Morgana looked both hopeful and despairing at the answer._

 _"None of their kind would dare show their face in Camelot."_

 _"No." Merlin agreed but then continued on. "But I know where you can find them."_

Arthur and Gwen watched as the image faded and no other scene took its place. It wasn't clear when exactly this took place but Arthur could hazard a guess. There was only one time that Morgana had disappeared from the castle with no explanation and then been found with the Druids.

"That idiot!"

The exclamation was more habit than anything else. He wasn't really upset with Merlin, not truly. He had tried to help Morgana the only way he knew how but it had all been blown out of proportion.

"This was almost nine years ago, wasn't it? That time that Morgana disappeared and was found with the druids?" Gwen seemed to have come to the same conclusion. "This was so long before she betrayed us! What happened to her? When did she turn her heart from us?"

"And just how many secrets has Merlin been keeping?" Arthur asked as he looked from the stone to his wife.

"His loyalty is commendable. He had known for so long about her magic and yet never told anyone." Gwen praised and Arthur had to acknowledge that.

"Loyalty is one thing that I, nor anyone else, could ever doubt about Merlin. He has proven himself time and again. This stone is providing more questions than anything else. There are answers here, yes, but with every scene, I only have more and more questions."

"We will find the answers together, Arthur. There was a reason you were given this gift."

Arthur smiled at his wife but before he could answer, Merlin entered the room.

"Ah, Merlin. After bringing our supper, start preparing for a trip, I feel like hunting tomorrow." Merlin gave the predictable frown at the order, it was well known that he despised hunting trips.

"Of course, sire. Just two horses?" Arthur confirmed the question and with a last quick bow, Merlin exited the chambers.

* * *

Despite everything he had learned recently, Arthur couldn't help but be frustrated as he and Merlin rode through the forest and he heard a sneeze behind him.

"You're still angry with me, aren't you?"

"We spend the entire day hunting, catch nothing, because every time we got anywhere near anything, you sneezed and frightened it away."

"Not the last time." Merlin answered.

"No, that time you fell into a stream. No one can accuse you of being predictable, Merlin."

"I think I'm getting a cold."

"Let's hope it's a bad one." Answered Arthur, but there was no heat behind his words.

Their day of hunting was interrupted then and as the day progressed, Arthur once again felt the injustice of the world. How could this frail looking old woman, who had gifted him with something, even knowing who he was and who his father had been, practice magic and be inherently evil? Why did people feel the need to turn to magic? Was he not a good king? Did the people not feel safe? What need was there to turn to magic? What drove the people to choose that evil path?

Merlin stood with the horses after Arthur spoke to his father and the ride home was done in silence. There were so many things that he had hoped to learn from his father, so many things that he had hoped Uther would be proud of. Turns out, he had been nothing but a disappointment.

He had learned, over the years, to trust Merlin's judgment, his instincts, so when his servant told him that his father's ghost was responsible for the happenings around the castle, he gave only token protests. His father's disappointment with his rule of the kingdom stung his heart and rang in his mind, providing even more proof of Merlin's accusations.

When he found Merlin pinned to the wall, his father threatening his servant's life, Arthur felt only sadness in his heart and no anger. His father had loved him and been proud of him before his death, Arthur knew that with certainty and he would cling to that now. Not to this ghost of his father who had become even more bitter in death.

The tears in Merlin's eyes were unexpected but Arthur didn't dwell on it as he helped his friend down from his pinned position.

Both made their way to the physician's chambers and were delighted to see that Gwen had awakened, no worse for wear.

Arthur took her into his arms and escorted her to their shared chambers.

He told her what happened, told her of his desire to hear his father one more time and then of his grief when he learned how much of a disappointment he had turned out to be. She comforted him, told him that he was a great king, better than his father had been and that it was his turn now, not Uther's. He had to remember that.

The somber atmosphere stayed with them but then Gwen suggested they look at the stone again.

"Maybe it will cheer you up?"

Gwen took the stone this time and gave it a turn before setting it down.

 _"Hider eft funda on_ thysne middangeard _…"_

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other. This was clearly an incantation of some kind. What did it mean? They were shocked when they saw Morgause.

 _"Arthur Pendragon, a great destiny awaits you. The battle for your soul is about to begin."_

It was clear that the incantation had been done over a crystal and the purpose was scrying. They could see that she was watching things unfurl in Camelot. Just how many times had people spied on them, on Camelot, in such a way?

The scene changed then to one that Arthur both cherished and hated with equal measure. Cherished because it showed his mother, hated because it had all been a lie.

 _"Arthur. Arthur."_

 _"Mother."_

 _"My son. When I last held you, you were a tiny baby. I remember your eyes. You were staring up at me. Those few seconds I held you were the most precious of my life."_

 _"I'm so sorry."_

 _"You have nothing to be sorry for."_

 _"It was my birth that caused you to die."_

 _"No, you are not to blame."_

 _"I cannot bear the thought that you died because of me."_

 _"Do not think that."_

 _"It is your father who should carry the guilt for what happened."_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"It is not important. What matters is that you lived."_

 _"Why should my father feel guilty?"_

 _"It is better left in the past."_

 _"You cannot leave me with more questions. Please."_

 _"Your father… He was desperate for an heir. Without a son, the Pendragon dynasty would come to an end. But I could not conceive."_

 _"Then how was I born? Tell me."_

 _"Your father betrayed me. He went to the sorceress Nimueh and asked for her help in conceiving a child. You were born of magic."_

Gentle fingers brushed against his cheek and Arthur looked to his side as Gwen wiped them away. She was clearly shocked at what the stone showed, Arthur had never revealed this to anyone or spoken of it again.

 _"That's not true."_

 _"I'm sorry, Arthur. Your father has deceived you as he deceived me. To create a life, a life must be taken. Your father knew that."_

 _"No."_

 _"He sacrificed my life so the Pendragon dynasty could continue. It makes you no less my son nor me any less proud of you. Now I see you, I would have given my life willingly. Do not let this knowledge change you."_

Gwen squeezed his hand and they both watched as the scene changed.

 _Gaius was entering his chambers with a surprised look on his face. Merlin looked a bit shell-shocked himself._

 _"Is that Uther I saw just leaving?"_

 _"Yeah. He just popped in to say hello."_

 _"Merlin. What did he want?"_

 _"He wanted to thank me for being a trusted ally in the fight against magic." The look on Merlin's face was one of profound shock and_ surprise, _as if he couldn't believe what had just happened._

 _"How you've managed to keep that head on your shoulders is a mystery beyond our greatest minds. Uther should be grateful. Your life would have been easier and safer if you had let him die. You must have been tempted."_

 _"Maybe for a moment, but Arthur wouldn't have been able to forgive himself if he'd gone through with it. It would have destroyed him."_

 _"I'm proud of you, Merlin."_

The scene ended there and Arthur could see the confusion on his wife's face.

"The scenes from the stone always seem to be connected so I guess this happened just after we returned from seeing my mother. I was enraged and confronted my father. We fought and I had my sword to his throat when Merlin came barging into the room. He convinced me that Morgause had only created an illusion, that it had not really been my mother. I would have killed my father that day, if not for Merlin."

The confession was painful but Arthur knew it to be true.

"Now though, after watching it all again, I wonder if he had been the one lying? Could it have really been my mother I was talking to that day? Why would Merlin have lied though?"

"You said yourself that you would have killed Uther if Merlin had not interfered. Merlin himself confessed to Gaius that he was tempted to let you kill your father but that he stopped you because you would not have been able to forgive yourself afterwards. You know Merlin, whether it was the truth or not, he would have stopped you because no matter what your father had done, you would never have been able to forgive yourself if you had killed him."

"So, was she telling the truth? Was I really born of magic?"

"We might never know, Arthur. What we do know, is that both your parents loved you and would have done anything for you. It does not matter how you were conceived Arthur, what matters is that you are here and you are a just and honourable king. Camelot is a better place because of you and your people love you."

Arthur scooped her up in his arms, eliciting a squeal from Gwen and turned them to their bed.

 **End Chapter 2**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter disclaimer:** Scenes taken from S02E09 and S02E12

 **Secrets**

If anyone had told Arthur that Merlin was good at keeping secrets, he would have laughed until he cracked a rib. Now though, now he was starting to see just how many secrets his servant kept.

He consorted with sorcerers – yes, it was in order to save Arthur's life, but still!

He saved Arthur's life, pulling him, water-logged and heavy out of a lake and never said a word, never sought any credit.

He stopped Arthur from killing his own father by convincing him that what they had seen were lies – he still wasn't sure what to believe!

He knew about Morgana's magic. Knew long before anyone else did, long before she had attempted to take the throne the first time.

Merlin would apparently be safer with Uther dead than alive. Why?

Arthur had all these thoughts and questions running through his head but no answers.

"Here." Arthur turned and saw that Guinevere was holding out a piece of parchment.

1\. He knew about Morgana before anyone else.  
2\. He stopped Arthur from committing patricide and regicide  
3\. …

"It might help to keep it all listed, make sure we don't forget anything."

"You are always so wise, Guinevere. What would I do without you?"

With a smile, both of them turned to the parchment as Arthur added the things he had just been turning over in his head.

"Well, should we add another to the list?" Arthur asked after jotting down his last note, pointing toward the stone.

"Let's."

With anxiety and anticipation churning inside him, Arthur picked up the stone, turned it and set it down again.

 _Merlin entered a dark passage with a torch and a cloth bundle. A girl in a tattered dress was sleeping on the ground._

 _With a gentle touch to her shoulder and a softly spoken "Freya", the girl woke in fright and pulled back._

 _"It's alright, it's okay, it's me, it's Merlin. And look…" Merlin set the cloth bundle down and unwrapped it, revealing some bread, ham and cheese._

 _The girl immediately started devouring it._

 _Merlin set a candle on the ground._

 _"It's good." Freya said._

 _"Believe me, it's fit for a prince."_

The scene stopped abruptly but Arthur could only gape in astonishment.

"That little sneak!"

"Come now Arthur, there's no reason to think that he stole that." Gwen tried to reason.

"No reason? He just about confessed!" Arthur's indignation brought a bright laugh from Gwen but the two's attention was once again drawn to the stone as the new image formed.

 _Once again, Merlin was walking down a dark passage with a torch. "I'm sorry I took so long." He said as he rounded the corner and found Freya on the ground._

 _Setting the torch down, Merlin moved towards her. "You must be hungry." He held out a bundle and as she took it, Merlin could see she was upset. "What is it?"_

 _"Nothing."_

 _"But you're upset."_

 _"No."_

 _"Did you think I wasn't coming? I promised you I would."_

 _"I scare most people_ away. _" Freya answered._

 _"I'm not most_ people. _" Merlin said with a grin and they both chuckled._

 _Merlin pulled out some candles again, "How long had you been in that cage?"_

 _"A few days."_

 _"The bounty hunter…" Merlin_ leaded _._

"Halig."

Arthur vaguely remembered the name but could not quite place it.

 _"How did he find you?"_

 _Freya sniffed. "You can't always trust people."_

 _"I know. That's why I left home." Merlin answered._

 _"Where is home?"_

 _"_ Ealdor. _" Merlin answered. "It's a small village. Just a few fields, a couple of cows. Nothing special."_

 _"My home was next to a lake, surrounded by the tallest mountains. In winter the storms whipped the water into waves and you thought they'd crash down and take away all the houses. But in the summer,_ wild flowers _and light. It was like heaven."_

 _Merlin smiled "Sounds perfect."_

 _"It was."_

 _"Was?"_

 _"My family died."_

 _Merlin looked sad. "Have you been on your own ever since?"_

 _Freya nodded._

 _"You're not on your own anymore. I'm going to look after you. I promise."_

 _"You can't look after me, no one can."_

 _Merlin reached for her hands as she set the food down. "I don't think you understand. I've never known anyone like you." Realising he was still holding her hand, Merlin went to pull back but she grabbed him again. "I wish I could stay."_

 _"You're going?"_

 _"We need to be careful. I'll come back in the morning. You know I will be back, don't you?"_

 _Freya nodded with a smile and Merlin reluctantly got up._

 _"Merlin?" Merlin turned around to face her after picking up his torch._

 _"I've never known anyone like you, either."_

 _With a last smile and nod, Merlin left._

There was silence in their chambers, neither Arthur nor Gwen quite knowing what to say about that scene.

After a few seconds, Arthur found his voice. "I have never heard him so much as mention a love interest. At one stage I thought he had feelings for Morgana but no matter how many times I teased him, he never confirmed or denied it."

"I've never heard anything either," Gwen confirmed.

 _Merlin entered the cavern that Freya stayed in and set his torch down. With a sly look back at her, Merlin proclaimed "Believe me, it was not easy, getting this." He held up a dress, (one that Arthur thought looked vaguely familiar and one that Gwen immediately recognized from her days as Morgana's servant)._

 _"It's beautiful."_

 _Merlin held it out to Freya who took it and held it against her frame._

 _"You look like a princess."_

 _Freya smiled but then turned sad. "I'm not. I can't take this." She handed the dress back to Merlin._

For the first time, Arthur spied a druid symbol on her arm.

 _"Freya, I don't_ understand. _" Merlin said_ with _a soft voice._

 _"You keep doing all this for me, I don't deserve it."_

 _"I want to. What's wrong?"_

 _"Nothing"_

 _"Here. Please." Merlin entreated and handed the dress back. "You'll look wonderful in it." Frey turned to him. "We can leave tonight, as soon as it gets dark. And we'll be together."_

 _Freya looked thoughtful. "We'll need supplies." Merlin's grin returned. "Food, water."_

 _"_ Alright. _" Merlin said with a bright grin and a bounce in his step. "I'll try to get horses and we'll need blankets. But… That's all we'll need."_

 _"Go on,_ go. _" Freya said with a smile._

 _"I won't be_ long. _" Merlin promised and then leaned in and kissed her._

 _"Goodbye,_ Merlin. _" Freya said softly after Merlin had left._

Arthur felt something squeeze tight in his chest. He didn't know when this was, when it had happened but he dearly, desperately, hoped that it was a long, long time ago. To think that Merlin would have packed up and left with a girl, even if he loved her, was just not something he was ready to face. Why not ask her to stay? Merlin knew that Arthur had promised safe passage to the druids after the incident with Elyan. Surely he would have asked her to stay, rather than go with her and away from Arthur, from Camelot.

Gwen's arms wrapped around him.

"This was a long time ago Arthur. I recognize the dress. It was one of Morgana's. This was about eight years ago. In a time when druids were hunted the same as sorcerers."

Before Arthur could even exhale in relief at those words, the next scene had started.

 _Rain splattered softly on a lake. Merlin came walking out of the woods with Freya in his arms. He looked up at the beautiful mountains in the distance as he went down to his knees and set her down on the ground. It was clear that she was hurt and Merlin had tears in his eyes. Freya slowly lifted her head and looked at the lake. "You remembered."_

 _Merlin smiled down at her. "Of course." The look in his eyes was clear, there was no hope of saving her. "I'm so sorry for what that sorcerer did to you."_

 _"Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for."_

 _"There must be something I can do, some way to save you."_

 _"You've already saved me. You made me feel loved."_

 _Tears gathered in Merlin's eyes as he_ realised _she was saying goodbye. "I don't want you to go."_

 _"One day, Merlin, I will repay you. I promise."_

Arthur would forever deny the tears that rolled down his cheek as Merlin softly called out for Freya and she remained limp in his arms.

Gwen was sniffing softly next to him and he pulled her into his arms.

"I never knew. He was clearly in love and lost her before their dreams could come true but never said anything." Arthur's voice was soft and confused. Why had Merlin never told him? Sure, she was a druid but that didn't matter, especially not now!

"There are many things we are finding out now, Arthur, most seem centered around Merlin. There must be a reason."

"I just wish I knew what it was."

* * *

Merlin puttered around the room. Shifting a few things around, picking up a discarded piece of clothing here and there but never really cleaning the place. Arthur was so used to it that he didn't even take notice anymore, not really.

"Have you ever been in love, Merlin?"

Arthur thought he saw a tiny waver in Merlin's movements but decided to ignore it. He didn't think he'd get an honest answer anyway so it didn't matter.

"Once." Merlin answered and Arthur stopped writing his speech.

Looking up, Arthur could see that Merlin was thinking of how to explain, where to begin.

"Her name was Freya. It was while your father was King, about two years after I came to Camelot." Merlin seemed reluctant to say anything else so Arthur prompted him. "What happened?"

"She was a druid, found by a bounty hunter to be brought before the king." Arthur already knew that much but could hardly tell Merlin that. "A sorcerer cursed her and she was shunned by everyone, even the druids."

"How did you get to know her?" From what Arthur had seen, Merlin had been helping her, aiding a known fugitive and enemy to the crown. It was treason and would have seen him hanged had he been caught.

"She was hiding in the tunnels under the citadel. I took her food and supplies whenever I could, helped her to feel comfortable."

"You could have been hanged."

"She had done nothing wrong!" Merlin exploded passionately.

"It doesn't matter what you think or feel, Merlin. Had you been caught, you would have been executed. Oh, don't look so worried Merlin, that was a long time ago. I'm hardly going to hang you for helping someone eight years ago who would now be able to roam free."

Merlin gave a sheepish smile and a soft "I know".

"So, what happened?"

"The knights caught up with her and she was injured. I took her to a lake, she had mentioned growing up next to one, and she died in my arms." The sad look in his eyes made Arthur turn away.

"I'm sorry."

"It's fine. As you said, it was a long time ago."

"You know Merlin, there are many things I know for certain, about you, but there are just a many, maybe even more, that I am just starting to see. I believe that one day, I will fathom you out."

Was it just Arthur's imagination or did Merlin suddenly seem stiff and scared?

"Well, if there is nothing else?"

Yes, there was definitely something wrong here…

"That will be all, you can turn down the bed later and don't worry about dinner, I'll be dining with the council."

* * *

"What do think it will be this time? Another love interest?" Arthur asked as Gwen picked up the stone and turned it around.

"Only one way to find out…"

 _Morgana was hurrying down the castle steps in the dead of night and exiting through the city gates. She made her way through a forest and smiled as she turned around after hearing a sound behind her. Morgause came closer "You look well."_

 _"Thanks to_ you. _" Morgana replied, indicating the bracelet she wore. "I wear it all the time. I can't remember when I last had a bad dream."_

 _"But you do not seem happy. Why's that?"_

 _"I would be. If I didn't have to pretend." Morgana replied._

 _"Pretend?"_

 _"That I am Uther's loving ward when I hate him."_

 _Morgause looked surprised and thoughtful at that confession. "Have you ever imagined a new world, Morgana? One where Uther was no more?"_

 _"_ Sometimes. _" Morgana confessed._

 _"And it that what you'd like?"_

 _"I once had the chance to be his assassin."_

 _"What stopped you?"_

 _"I don't know. I believe he cared for me. But not anymore. He cares for no one."_

 _"So you want Uther destroyed and his reign to end?" Morgause asked._

 _"More than anything." Morgana confessed but then realized "It doesn't matter what I want, the future's not of my making."_

 _"You are wrong, Morgana. You underestimate your importance. The decisions you make now will change the shape of everything that is to come."_

 _"What do you mean?"_

 _"Whose side are you on, Morgana? Are you with Uther, or are you with me? Are you prepared to help me bring about his downfall?"_

 _Morgana thought about it for only a few moments. "I am."_

 _"I can't tell you how much it means to hear you say that." Morgause placed a gentle hand on Morgana's cheek and with a golden glow of her eyes, Morgana appeared_ _to fall asleep. Morgause placed her gently on the ground and started incanting a spell._

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other, both very confused and worried. When was this? Just how long had Morgana deceived them, when had she tried to kill his father? There were no answers forthcoming.

 _Merlin and Arthur entered Morgana's chambers and found Guinevere on the floor, asleep, same as everyone else in the castle. Arthur picked her up and gently placed her on the bed. A sound drew their attention to the curtain and Arthur readied his sword in defense. As he pulled back the curtain, Morgana gave a scream of fright and Arthur quickly grabbed her. "It's me! It's me, Morgana! What's happened?"_

 _"I didn't know it was you."_

 _"Calm down, Morgana. Just tell me what happened."_

 _"People were complaining, saying they were ill."_

 _"And what then?"_

 _"They started falling asleep. Everyone. Everywhere I went."_

 _"Was someone here?" Morgana shook her head. "Then why were you hiding?"_

 _"I told you. I didn't know who you were."_

 _"Where's my father?"_

 _"I don't know."_

 _"Arthur, she's distressed!" Merlin tried to interfere._

 _"She was awake, she must've seen something."_

 _"I didn't see anything."_

 _"You saw people getting sick. What did you do?"_

 _"What could I do?"_

 _"Morgana, I don't understand! Why is it that you're the only person awake?"_

Arthur turned to Guinevere. She had a hand to her mouth and tears in her eyes. "That's the day she disappeared. That's the day Morgause took her."

 _"Unless we can rid ourselves of this sickness, then I don't see how we're going to hold out." Arthur was clearly upset._

 _"We have to destroy the source of the_ magic. _" Merlin said._

 _"Which is?" asked Arthur_

 _Merlin looked a bit shifty but_ said _"I don't know."_

 _"Then our only chance is to get out of Camelot. Help me with my father."_

 _Arthur and Morgana dragged Uther across the room. "You'll cut the blanket up, we'll tie it to my father, and we'll lower him onto the cart." Merlin was standing in the background looking as if he was wrestling with some kind of mental problem._

 _"Arthur?" Morgana called._

 _"Morgana, please, just do as I_ say. _" Arthur said and then grabbed Merlin by the arm. "I'll fetch the cart round to the window."_

 _"You're going out there?"_

 _"I'll come with you."_

 _"No! You stay, you protect my father."_

 _"You won't reach the cart alone. It's suicide."_

 _"I don't have a choice."_

 _"How are you feeling?" Merlin asked, looking exhausted himself._

 _"Not bad."_

 _"You sure?"_

 _"Yeah. You?"_

 _"Never better."_

 _"Get me a pillow, could you?"_

 _"Don't mess around. Arthur? You… Arthur, you need to stay awake." Merlin pushed himself off the door and slapped Arthur in the face._

Guinevere gave a surprised gasp but Arthur just shook his head in remembrance.

 _"Merlin!"_

 _"That's better."_

 _"If you ever do that again…"_

 _"Well, don't fall asleep, then!"_

 _Arthur poured some water over his face to wake himself up a bit and Merlin turned to the door as he heard a growling sound._

 _"That_ you _knees again?" Arthur asked and Merlin shook his head, too tired to smile. They both took the bar from the door and Merlin held it upright. "If I need a servant in the next life…"_

 _"Don't ask me." Merlin answers and they both laugh. Arthur withdraws his sword and with a last nod he turns and opens the door. Merlin quickly places the bar back in place as the door closes._

 _"He's not going to survive out_ there. _" Morgana said._

 _"I_ know. _" Merlin replies_

 _"We've got to do something!_

 _Merlin breathes heavily as he replies "I know."_

 _"Here. You tear this up. I'll make some rope." Morgana nods as Merlin turns around and pulls his waterskin out along with a vial that he empties into it. Turning_ _around, Merlin looks at Morgana for a moment and she stares back with a frown._

 _"Here, have some water."_

 _Morgana shakes her head. "I'm not thirsty."_

 _"If we get out of here, you may not get another chance to drink."_

 _"If we get out of here."_

 _They both hear Arthur outside, battling the knights and Merlin stands and hands the skin to Morgana. He turns back and picks it up, fakes taking a drink and then hands it back to her. "Here."_

 _"I'm fine."_

 _"No, you have some before I finish it." Merlin looks so earnest and sincere that Morgana smiles and takes it. "Thank you."_

By now, both Arthur and Gwen are gripping the other's hand as tightly as they could. Arthur was beginning to understand what was going on. He would have to think it all through later, but he could already see what Merlin had deduced at the time. Morgana was the source of the magic.

 _They both looked on as Morgana started coughing, Merlin standing with his back to her, tears gathering in his eyes. Morgana started gasping for breath, clearly struggling and looked toward the waterskin, realizing what was happening. Merlin wiped a tear from his cheek and turned to face Morgana. There was a clear question in Morgana's eyes and Merlin looked at her, nodding in_ answer _. Morgana gasped again and Merlin knelt before her, reaching out but she slapped at him. Morgana lost her fight and Merlin pulled her to him, clearly distraught at what he had done but also knowing that it was necessary. A snippet of Morgause was seen then and it was clear that she could feel what Morgana felt, could feel that the source of her spell was dying._

 _The door blasted open and Morgause rushed in, Merlin facing her without fear but releasing his hold on Morgana to her. "What has he done to you?" Morgause asked._

 _Merlin exhales harshly. "I had to."_

 _"You poisoned her."_

 _"You gave me no_ choice. _" Merlin said as he stood up, looking her squarely in the face._

 _"Tell me what you used and I can save her."_

 _"First stop the_ attack. _" Merlin demanded._

 _"You're nothing but a simple servant, don't tell me what to do."_

 _"If you want to know what poison it is, you will undo the magic that drives the knights." Merlin was uncompromising._

 _"Tell me the poison or you'll die."_

 _"Then she'll die with me."_

 _Morgause looked surprised that a servant would stand up to her like that, and be willing to die for such a cause (and frankly, Arthur would have been just as surprised had it been anyone but Merlin)._

 _"I don't want this any more than you. But you give me no choice. Stop the Knights and you can save her."_

 _Merlin watched as she started chanting, only giving her the bottle of Hemlock after the sounds of fighting had stopped outside._

Arthur remembered what had happened then but still continued to watch as the image of him burst in and demanded to know what she had done with his father.

It had never made sense to Arthur, that Morgause would have just stopped her Knights and flee the castle while she clearly had the upper hand. Now he realized that it was, in fact, Merlin who had turned the tide, Merlin who had realized what was going on and done the only thing he could to stop her, to protect Camelot.

"Arthur." Arthur turned to Gwen, knowing that she was just as shocked as he was. There were so many things that he had never known, so many things that Merlin had never even spoken of. Just how many times had Merlin known what was going on while everyone else had remained oblivious? Just how many times had Merlin changed the tide and saved Camelot?

"These are the types of decisions Kings and Queens make. The guilt he must have suffered, the weight of his choices. How had he managed to continue? How does he do the things he does, and still continue on, day after day?"

There were more thoughts and questions bubbling in his mind but Arthur could not voice them, not yet. He had to think.

 **End Chapter 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Disclaimer:** Scenes from S02E13, S03E01, S03E02

 **Humility**

Arthur and Gwen spoke long into the night. Morgana's betrayal had never lost its sting but they now understood better what drove the hatred between her and Merlin. It had always puzzled Arthur, the hostility he could sense between the two, deeper even than what lay between them as brother and sister.

"She had turned to Morgause before her kidnapping, turned against our father long before any of us suspected." Arthur's voice was pained and Guinevere wrapped her arms around him.

"I don't know what drove her to Morgause, or what completely cemented her hatred for Uther, but try not to think of that Arthur, remember her as the loving friend and sister she once was. What she has become now is not what I want to remember her as."

"What about Merlin? There are so many things that I want to ask him but how can I do that without explaining all we have seen? I don't think he would want us to know some of the intimate details we were privy to while watching those scenes. Why did he never tell anyone of Morgana's magic? How could he have gone to that witch and offer up his life to save mine? His life is worth more than that! What was he thinking? How could… I just…." Arthur stopped and took a deep breath.

"I just wish I understood why he does what he does. How he lives the humble life of a servant while secretly thwarting nefarious plans from enemies of Camelot…"

"I'm sure that when we have finished all the memories stored in the stone, we will have a better explanation for his actions. If not, you can always ask Gaius, I'm certain he knows most of what Merlin has done. If all fails, we can try to locate that creature again and ask for explanations. Surely the one who gave you this gift has the answers as well…"

"Then I guess we should continue watching."

 _Merlin and Gaius were in the Physician's chambers, Merlin busy packing something away. "Who were the Dragonlords?" he asked while his hands kept busy._

 _When no answer immediately came, Merlin looked at Gaius to see him standing with his back to him. "Gaius?" he prompted._

 _Gaius slowly turned around and contemplated the answer. "There were once men who could talk to the dragons, tame them."_

 _"What happened to them?"_

 _"Uther believed that the art of the Dragonlord was too close to magic, so he had them all rounded up and slaughtered."_

 _Merlin didn't look surprised, only saddened. "But one survived." He stated. "How did you know?"_

 _"I helped him escape."_

 _"Gaius!" Merlin snorts._

 _Gaius slowly draws nearer to Merlin. "Merlin, you've never heard the name Balinor?" he asked._

 _Merlin thinks a moment. "No."_

 _"Your mother never mentioned him?"_

 _"My mother?" Merlin asked, surprised._

 _"She took him in."_

 _"She stood up against Uther?"_

 _"Yes. Yes."_

 _"She was_ brave. _" Merlin stated._

 _"Yes. When Uther discovered where Balinor was, he sent knights to Ealdor to hunt him down. He was forced to flee."_

 _"Why didn't my mother tell me any of this?" Merlin asked plaintively._

 _"Merlin, I promised her I would never speak of these things."_

 _"Of what?"_

 _"I've always treated you as my son," Merlin nodded in agreement "but that is not what you are. The man you are going to look for is your father."_

 _The shock was clear on Merlin's face as he took a step back. "My father?" he asked._

 _"_ Yes. _" Gaius confirmed_

 _"He was a Dragonlord?" Merlin asked, shock turning to confused anger. "Why did no one ever tell me?"_

 _"I wanted to. Your mother feared it would be too dangerous."_

 _"I had a right to know."_

 _"She wanted to protect you."_

 _"No." Merlin shook his head. "I had a right to know."_

Arthur stood in stunned silence as the scene ended. "He never told me." Guinevere squeezed his hand. "Are you really surprised? Your father had slaughtered all the Dragonlords, all except Balinor, Merlin would have been viewed with the same suspicion and hatred if the truth came out."

Arthur couldn't argue with that. "And now? My father's been dead for almost four years, he could have told me."

"I don't know." Gwen answered and both were silenced as the next scene started.

 _"Are you Balinor?" Merlin asked. The man didn't answer, going back to his food. Merlin looked upset and leaned forward. "The Great Dragon is attacking Camelot."_

 _"His name is Kilgharrah."_

 _"We can't stop him. Only you, a Dragonlord, can."_

 _The man didn't look moved. "He does not act blindly. He kills for a reason, vengeance. This is of Uther's making."_

 _"He's killing innocent people. Woman and children." Merlin entreated_

 _"Uther pursued me! He hunted me like an animal!"_

 _"I know."_

 _"What do you know about anybody's life, boy?" The man stood up, clearly in a rage. "Uther asked me to use my power to bring the last dragon to Camelot. He said he wanted to make peace with it, but he did not. He lied to me. He betrayed me. You want me to protect this man?"_

 _"I want you to protect Camelot."_

 _"He killed every one of my kind, I alone escaped."_

 _"Where did you go?"_

 _"There is a place called Ealdor."_

 _"Yes." Merlin looked as if he wanted to say more but he hesitated._

 _"I had a life there. A woman. A good woman." Merlin nodded, not speaking. "Ealdor is beyond Uther's realm, but still he pursued me. Why would he not let me be? What was it that I had done, that he wanted to destroy the life I'd built, abandon the woman I loved? He sent knights to kill me. I was forced to come here, to this. So… I understand how Kilgharrah feels. He's lost every one of his kind,_ everyone _of his kin._ You want _to know how that feels? Look around, boy. Let Uther die. Let Camelot fall."_

 _Merlin looked lost and upset. "You want everyone in Camelot to die?"_

 _"Why should I care?"_

 _"What if one of them was your son?"_

 _"I don't have a son."_

 _"And if I told you…" Merlin was interrupted by Arthur calling his name, the moment between him and Balinor broken._

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other, neither knowing what to say. To hear the anger and resentment in Balinor's voice, to know that his father was responsible for the suffering he went through and the cause of the separation between him and Merlin, was a lot to take in.

 _Balinor was carving something from wood. Merlin sat across the fire from him. "Why did you never return?"_

 _"I thought her life would be better without me."_

 _"Why?" Merlin asked with a shake of his head._

 _"Uther wanted me dead. If he'd found me, he'd have killed me and your mother. I wanted her to be safe."_

 _"We could have come with you."_

 _Balinor gave a bitter smile. "What kind of life would you have had here?"_

 _"We'd have been happy." Merlin smiled a bit. "When we've finished in Camelot, I will take you to Ealdor._

 _"She won't recognize_ me. _" Balinor said with a sad smile. "I see her in you."_

 _"Yeah?" Merlin asked._

 _"You have her kindness."_

 _"How did you become a Dragonlord?" Merlin asked_

 _"You don't choose to become a Dragonlord. It's not something you're taught. It's a sacred gift. For thousands of_ years _it's been handed down from father to son. And that is what you must now become, Merlin."_

 _"I would like_ that. _" Merlin said._

 _"Like all Dragonlords, you won't know for sure that you have that power until you face your first dragon." Merlin looked unsettled. They'd already faced the dragon,_ _more than once, he had not had any power to command him._

 _"You should get some sleep. We have a big day ahead of us." Balinor said as he stood up and moved to his bedroll. "Good night, son." Merlin's face broke into a smile. "Sleep well, Father."_

The next scene started almost immediately, not leaving a moment for thought to be processed.

 _The knights were all holding_ in formation _, Merlin standing among them. "Hold_ firm _" Arthur said. The Great Dragon flew down from the sky, "Hold!" Arthur commanded. "Hold!" The horses became restless but held at their rider's commands. "Hold!", "Now!" the knights moved to form a circle around the dragon but it swiped its tail to unhorse them and breathed fire on those in front of it._

 _"No. Stop!" Merlin said desperately. The dragon turned to face Arthur and Merlin, Arthur picking up a spear. The dragon looked down at Arthur, for a few moments just staring at him before breathing_ out burst _of fire. Arthur rolled out of the way and Merlin fell_ backwards _. Arthur got back to his feet and speared the dragon on his left side, where the heart should be. The dragon roared in pain and swiped Arthur to the side, knocking him unconscious._

 _Merlin lay panting on the ground but slowly he sat up. Both Arthur and Guinevere could hear the voice of Balinor, as if speaking from all around them, or maybe just inside Merlin's head, they couldn't be sure. You're the last Dragonlord now. You alone carry the ancient gift. Deep within yourself, you must find the voice that you_ _and Kilgharrah share, for your soul and his are brothers. When you speak to him as kin, he must obey your will._

The roaring voice that came from Merlin was unlike any Arthur or Gwen had ever heard. They could not understand the words but they could see the effect it had on the dragon as it was forced down from its rage, almost into a subservient bow.

 _Merlin picked up the spear as the dragon sat tamely in front of him. "I am the last of my kind, Merlin. Whatever wrongs I have done, do not make me responsible for the death of my noble breed." Merlin pushed the spear upwards, almost as if wanting to kill the dragon but clearly not within striking distance, merely a warning. The dragon reared_ back, _as if expecting a deathly blow._

 _Merlin's eyes filled with tears as he faced the dragon. Kilgharrah looking at him with confusion. "Go! Leave! If you ever attack Camelot again, I will kill you." Merlin shouted passionately. The dragon bowed his head in_ acknowledgement _. "I have shown you mercy, now you must do the same to others."_

The scene ended there, both Arthur and Gwen looking at the spot where Merlin's image had been just a moment before. "He let it go. After all it had done, he let it go." Shock, anger, astonishment and even pride filled Arthur as all they had seen registered in his mind.

"Being in command of such a beast… Most people would use it to their advantage…" Arthur shook his head, not wanting to continue that train of thought. He felt humbled by what he had just seen. He doubted that if he had been the Dragonlord, he would have pardoned the dragon, let it escape. It was clear that the dragon had obeyed Merlin's order, never had there been any news of the Great Dragon attacking anyone again, not even in the other kingdoms. Killing the dragon was clearly not necessary but after all the destruction it had wrought, Arthur did not know if he could have found it within himself to spare the dragon.

* * *

The next day, Arthur kept looking at Merlin, as if expecting him to suddenly look different, act different. It clearly unnerved Merlin, if his frowns and uncertain smiles were anything to go by, but Arthur just could not stop.

"What?" Merlin finally asked, after the eighth time he caught Arthur looking at him.

"Nothing. Just trying to figure something out."

"What's that?"

"Does anyone know the real Merlin?"

Merlin looked so surprised, then panicked, that Arthur had to laugh.

"Oh come on, Merlin! You're supposed to be an open book, don't now act like you're interesting or important, we both know you're not."

Merlin gave a hesitant smile and after a minute, he went back to making the bed and fluffing the pillows.

Arthur told himself that he would have to reign in his emotions and reactions to all these things he was learning about Merlin. Clearly the man would panic if even one of these secrets were revealed to Arthur, never mind all of them together. Merlin had gone to great lengths to keep these things hidden.

* * *

Geoffrey handed the rolls over to Arthur with some hesitation. It was clear that he wanted to know what the King was looking for, what he wanted these documents on Dragonlords for but Arthur just thanked him politely and took the scrolls.

"I'll hand them back to you tomorrow, Geoffrey, not a mark on them, they're in excellent hands." With a last bow, the nobleman left.

Guinevere stepped up to the table and took the first scroll, opening it up and reading it carefully.

"It says that Dragonlords were once viewed with awe and reverence. They weren't all of nobility, some were from the common folk but they were viewed with the same reverence, no matter their lineage."

"This one mentions what Balinor told Merlin, that the gift is ancient and handed down from father to son."

"This scroll says that some Dragonlords possess magic other than that of a Dragonlord, like healing magic, or hedge wizardry." Gwen's voice was almost questioning, looking at Arthur. They looked at each other for a moment before both laughing. No, that was just plain ridiculous. "I wonder if Merlin knows that some Dragonlords possessed magic, he might just faint at the knowledge." Arthur said with a grin but then grunted when Guinevere elbowed him in the ribs. "Be nice!"

"Enough of this, I want to look at another memory." Arthur was almost bouncing in anticipation, what would the stone reveal next?

 _Arthur and Merlin were exiting Morgana's chambers when she called out to Merlin. "I want to speak to you." Merlin hesitated a bit, looking at the door and then back to her. "I know what you did. You tried to poison me."_

 _"I didn't want_ to. _" Merlin said, voice wavering._

 _"It's alright, Merlin, I understand. You were just trying to protect your friends. I would've done the same."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"I was so naïve, Merlin. I don't think I really understood what I was doing. But believe me, I have seen the evils in this world. I have seen first hand what it is that_ _Uther fights against. You don't know how much I regret everything that I've done. I just… hope that you can forgive me."_

 _"I am so sorry for everything you've been_ through. _" Merlin said earnestly. "It's good to have you back." Morgana gave a tearful smile in response._

The scene immediately changed, no pause in between.

 _Merlin was in Uther's chambers, pulling the blankets up over him when he heard a dripping sound. Looking down, he saw a strange dark substance on the floor, almost like mud. Footsteps in the corridor had him ducking under the bed where his face connected with a smack against something wet and dripping. Pulling his legs under the bed, Merlin cringed back as a hand grabbed the thing that had smacked his face and then watched as Morgana made her way out of the chambers. Suspicion filling him, he followed her out of the castle. At one stage, she looked back and Merlin paused, putting his back against the wall. He continued his pursuit of her into the forest._

 _Merlin looked on as Morgana stood in a small clearing, waiting for someone or something. Moments later, horses approached and he watched as Morgause dismounted one and came down to meet Morgana._

 _"_ Sorry _you had to wait. There was much to discuss." Morgause said as_ greeting _._

 _"But your visit was successful?"_

 _"Cenred's army ride for Camelot on my_ command. _" Morgause answered._

 _"There's nothing you can not_ do. _" Morgana said in delight._

 _"It is you that gives me strength, sister. How goes the battle for Uther's mind?"_

 _"When Cenred marches on Camelot, you will find a kingdom without a leader."_

 _Merlin moved closer to hear better. "Finally, we are_ ready. _" Morgause announced._

 _"Not quite." Morgana said. "Merlin suspects me."_

 _"Has he told Arthur?"_

 _"Not yet, but he will."_

 _"Well then, we must stop him."_

 _"That will not be_ difficult. _" Morgana said._

 _"Why?"_

 _"Because he's already_ here. _" Morgana said, a bit louder and directly in the direction Merlin was hiding._

 _Merlin jumps up from his hiding place in surprise._

 _"Did you really think I was that stupid, Merlin?" Morgana asked mockingly._

 _Merlin finally seemed to realize that he was in trouble and bolted up the hill. Morgause ordered her henchmen to go after him and the chase began. Merlin made a valiant effort to get away but was caught._

The scene changed again…

 _Merlin was on the ground, bound by chains and two men grabbed him to sit him upright. "You intrigue me,_ Merlin. _" Morgause said. "Why does a lowly servant continue to risk everything for Arthur and for Camelot?" Merlin looked around him, not wanting to answer._

 _"You know the answer but you're not telling me. Why?" Merlin stubbornly stayed silent. "Come on, time and again, you've put your life on the line. There must be a reason."_

 _"I believe in a fair and just land."_

 _"And do you think Arthur will give you that?"_

 _"I know_ it. _" Merlin answered with conviction._

 _"And then what? You think you'll be recognized, Merlin? Is that it? All this so one day you can be a serving boy to the King?" Merlin didn't answer, looking away. "No" Morgause_ realised _, "There's something more. There's something you're not telling me, isn't there?"_

 _"I've told you."_

 _"Well, you can take your secret to your grave." Morgause proclaimed. Merlin_ started _at her defiantly, not giving her the satisfaction of a reaction. She incanted something and the chains around him tightened and glowed._

 _"You chose to poison one of my own. You may regret that." Only when they started walking away did Merlin allow his worry to show._

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other in surprise. "Did you know he had been captured?" Gwen asked as the scene faded away. Arthur numbly shook his head, trying to remember exactly when this happened.

The next scene started, pulling their attention away from their thoughts.

 _Merlin was lying in a cave of some sort, night had fallen by then. He looked up as he awoke and saw the dragon in front of him. "I didn't think you'd answer my call."_

 _"Merlin, I could not resist a Dragonlord even if I wanted to."_

 _"I'm grateful. Thank you." Merlin groaned as he tried to sit up._

 _"Lie still."_

 _"Ow. My head."_

 _"The_ serket's _poison is powerful. I have given you an enchantment that will help you heal, but it will take time._

Gwen's gasp echoed his own. Serkets were feared all through the kingdom. It was one of the most painful ways to die and only a few ever survived. Merlin obviously had, and from what the dragon said, it was due to a healing spell from him, and despite the fact that magic had been used, Arthur could not help but be grateful to the beast.

 _Merlin was rushing into the physician's chambers. He went to a sleeping Gaius and shook his shoulder. "You need to wake up."_

 _"_ Merlin. _" Gaius said with relief. "Where have you been?"_

 _"I don't' have time to_ explain. _" Merlin said as he helped Gaius put his jacket on._

 _"Are you all right?"_

 _"Morgana is in league with Morgause. She's plotting against Uther."_

 _"What?"_

 _"She's responsible for his visions. Come on, hurry up. There's something I need to show you." Gaius and Merlin made their way to Uther's chambers. They looked around in surprise when they entered, the King wasn't on his bed. Looking around, they found him curled up against a wall by the window. "Uther" Gaius called softly. "Uther." The King whimpered and grappled at Gaius, looking over his shoulder at something that only he could see. He whimpered more and more, Merlin looking on for a moment before rushing to the bed and grabbing the thing hanging under it. He went to the fire and threw it in, recoiling from the shriek the thing emitted._

Arthur pinched the bridge of his nose. He remembered now. He had been furious with Merlin for spending two days in the Tavern. Now it looked like he would have to apologize, again!

 _Merlin threw open the curtains. "What happened?" He exclaimed as he took in the state of Arthur's room._

 _"What happened? I had to make do without a servant, that's what happened."_

 _"I wasn't gone for that long." Merlin protested_

 _"Without my permission."_

 _"What if I was dying?" Merlin asked._

 _"I wouldn't be complaining. But you're not, so where've you been?"_

 _"I was_ dying. _" Merlin said honestly._

 _"I don't have time for this. The future of the kingdom rests upon my shoulders. Do you have any idea what that feels like?"_

 _Merlin gave an ironic smile "Well…"_

 _"Merlin." Arthur held up a finger to stop him. "I should have you thrown in the dungeon, so what have you got to say for yourself?"_

 _Merlin gave a small shake of his head before cheekily saying "You're not had your breakfast this morning, have you?"_

 _An affronted Arthur stood up and scanned around for something to throw. "I'll have you for breakfast!" He exclaimed as he picked something up and threw it at Merlin_ _who dodged._

 _"Oh, no wonder this place is such a mess." Arthur threw another thing at Merlin. "Oh yes, I can see you've got all the makings of a great king." With one last mocking bow, Merlin looked up in time to see the next projectile flying at him and he quickly made his exit._

Arthur couldn't look at Gwen, knowing she would be stifling her laughter and rather embarrassed at his own behaviour.

Desperately wanting to change the subject, Arthur asked the question that had been on his mind since the second scene had started.

"How exactly was the army defeated? Morgana had claimed victory over the battle but that was obviously not true. She had been the one to start the whole thing, or at least, help Morgause."

"I guess we'll find out, another scene is starting…" was Gwen's answer.

 _The citadel was burning, flames burning in various places but night had given way_ to day _and the enemy had retreated. Uther stood in front of his throne as the people entered the throne room and neared him. Merlin and Arthur approached but Merlin tried to slow them down. "Sire. I need to tell you something about Morgana."_

 _"It's all right. We know what happened."_

 _"You do?" Merlin asked in surprise, halting before the throne, not wanting to overstep his place in front of the king._

 _"In my time, we've won many battles, but none so important as this. Every man, every woman_ and _child has performed their heroic best. I thank you and I salute you all. Even before the battle, we knew there was a traitor in our midst, one who was almost the undoing of us." Merlin and Gaius looked at each other, wondering if the truth had been found, wondering if they knew it was Morgana who had betrayed them all. "However we have to thank the one person who outwitted them and who almost singlehandedly turned the battle—The Lady Morgana." The shock and disappointment on Merlin's face was clear if you looked for it, something that no one in attendance did. "For it was she, who bravely entered the vault, found the magical vessel and destroyed it." Gaius looked at Merlin, the only one there knowing the actual truth. "We must be vigilant. We must stand firm against the dark forces of magic, and ensure that they never penetrate our walls again." The look passing between Morgana and Merlin was clear to see. I've won this round. What can you do now, Merlin? What is your word as a servant, against that of the king's ward?_

"That doesn't explain anything!" Arthur said in disgust. Well, at least he now remembered that Merlin had tried to tell him, tried to warn him about Morgana. It was just unfortunate that she had already claimed her triumph over the army. Arthur knew that there was no way his father, or even he, would have believed Merlin's version of the truth after Morgana had already told them her side.

"It explains one thing, Arthur. Whatever Morgana did, however many times she tried to harm us, harm Camelot, Merlin had interfered. Merlin had stopped her."

The awe in Gwen's voice was clear to hear. Merlin had done this, done all the things they had seen so far, and never been recognised as the hero. The one time that Uther had seen and acknowledged what he had done, Merlin had been assigned as Arthur's servant. Arthur knew that not much more could have been granted, maybe some gold in payment to services to the throne, but that was all.

As a peasant, Merlin could only be elevated so high in the order of things. He was not a swordsman, could not be knighted as his friends had been. The truths they were finding out now, though, they humbled Arthur as nothing ever had. Merlin, a Dragonlord – one in command of The Great Dragon himself, helped them, saved them, time and again and he never asked for anything. Never even mentioned that he was the one to save them.

"What am I going to do? What can I do?" Arthur asked his wife. "He deserves recognition, deserves the same honor a knight receives, and yet, what can I actually do? He is not a swordsman, not a nobleman by birth, nothing but a servant."

"I am not sure that he would want anything, Arthur. You know Merlin as well as any man could. You know he always accompanies you wherever you go and is happier for it. Which other servant accompanies knights on missions? Which other servant stubbornly insists on following their master into danger? This is who Merlin is. This is what he does. He would not want to be anywhere but at your side." Guinevere pulled his face down to hers and gave him a soft kiss. "I always feel better knowing that he is at your side, knowing that he would protect you with his life. I've known that for years and the surety of that knowledge has only increased since we started watching these memories."

Arthur had to acknowledge the wisdom of his wife. She was right, he could not think that Merlin would want any type of promotion, even if such a thing was possible.

"I still want to acknowledge what he has done, even if it is just in words."

"Then do so, but be sure you don't frighten him with the knowledge, you know how he is about his secrets."

Arthur's face morphed into a smile, a spark of mischief in his eyes.

 **End Chapter 4**


	5. Chapter 5

Two chapters in one day, I can't seem to stop :D

 **Chapter Disclaimer:** Scenes from S03E08 and S03E10

 **Explanations**

"Something is going on, Gaius! I know it." Merlin paced up and down in their chambers. "He's been acting odd for a few weeks now. Even Gwen has been giving me strange looks! It's that stone. It has to be. The Diamair gave it to him. The Diamair is the key to all knowledge. What exactly is that stone showing them? What if they find out?"

Gaius placed a calming hand on his arm to stop his pacing. "You can't know that for certain, Merlin. Keep calm and do what you do best, investigate. See if you can find out where that stone is, if they have placed it in the vaults as I suggested. There is no need to worry, not yet."

Merlin didn't look reassured at all but he got a determined gleam in his eyes. He would do as Gaius suggested, he would spy on Arthur, see what he could find out. "Alright, I'll go spy a bit, see what he's hiding."

"Merlin! That's not what I meant!" Gaius protested but Merlin either didn't hear him or just didn't listen, exiting their chambers with a determined air.

Making his way through the citadel, Merlin thought up excuses for his being in the King's chambers at a time he should have been settling down for the night. By the time he reached the King and Queen's chambers, no excuse had risen in his mind but it did not stop him, when had it ever stopped him?

For once not barging in, Merlin softly opened the door and slipped inside. He expected Arthur and Gwen to be settling down for the night – for the first time the thought entered his mind that he might have seen more than he ever wanted to – but they were sitting at the desk, talking softly to each other. Merlin couldn't take the chance of them seeing him so he was forced to stay on the other side of the room, frustrated that he could not hear what they were talking about.

After about ten minutes of standing there in the darkened corner of the room, Merlin finally saw Gwen standing up, her hand reaching toward the stone lying innocuously on the desk.

"Are you ready to see more?" She asked and Arthur took a deep breath before nodding.

Merlin stood in stunned silence as the scene played out before him.

 _Gwen and Morgana were in the_ market place _, laughing as they tried a few shawls and scarfs. Someone grabbed Morgana's arm. "Help me_ please _. Please, just spare me a few minutes of your time, sister." Morgana looked affronted at first but when the old lady spoke and she heard her call her 'sister', she looked deep into her eyes,_ realising _who this was. Nodding her head, she followed the old lady, Gwen calling worriedly after her. "My lady?"_

 _"It's all right, Gwen. I won't be a moment." Gwen reluctantly stayed put, watching as Morgana and the old woman walked down the street. "We must be quick, sister. This enchantment will not hold for long. Tell me, what has Arthur chosen as his quest?"_

 _"He sets out tomorrow for the Perilous Lands."_

 _"How perfect. Present this to the prince as a token of your good wishes. When the time is right, you must make a likeness of the prince and bind it to the gift using the skills that I taught you. When he does not return, you, sister, will take your rightful place as sole heir to the throne of Camelot." Morgana nodded and the old lady returned to the_ market place _, Morgana waiting a bit before following her._

 _Gwen was wrapping another piece of fabric around her shoulders as the old lady walked past but as she looked up, the reflection in the mirror was that of Morgause, not an old lady. Gwen gasped and looked around but the old lady had walked on and when she looked back, it was the face of an old woman. She must have imagined it. "My lady. Are you all right?" She asked as she saw Morgana behind her._

 _"Why wouldn't I be?_

 _"I.. I thought.." Gwen was at a loss for words._

 _"The poor woman didn't have a penny to feed her family. I felt duty-bound to help her, Gwen." Gwen still looked uncertain. Was she imagining things or had that really been Morgause?_

Merlin could only look on in shocked surprise as Arthur and Gwen merely watched the scene, not looking surprised in the least.

The scene changed then…

 _Arthur mounted his horse, Merlin standing in front and nodding at Arthur, without words wishing him a safe journey. Merlin's attention was suddenly pulled to the bracelet on Arthur's wrist, some unexplainable force drawing his attention to it. "Beautiful, isn't it? It was a gift from Morgana." Arthur took off on his journey, Merlin standing still, looking unsure and worried._

 _"I'm not sure I know where else to look,_ Merlin. _" Gaius said. Merlin was looking up at the bookshelf in the physician's quarters, also looking for something. "There has to be something."_

 _"We've examined every stone imaginable. Unless…" Gaius interrupted himself, Merlin still looking for a book that might prove useful._

 _Gaius approached the shelf Merlin was examining and plucked a book from the bottom part. Paging through it, he held the book up. "Merlin."_

 _"Gaius, that's it!"_

 _"That is not a stone, Merlin. It's an eye of the_ phoenix _."_

 _"The_ phoenix _?"_

 _Gaius nodded. "Some call it the_ firebird _. Its eye burns with a fire that consumes the life force of anybody it comes in contact with."_

 _"_ Arthur. _" Merlin exclaims_

 _Gaius nods. "The eye will draw energy from him. If it's worn for too long, Arthur will die."_

 _"I have to go after him."_

 _"This is not a task to be undertaken lightly, Merlin. You'll need help."_

"That's why the idiot followed me!" Arthur exclaims and Merlin only just manages to stop himself from jumping in fright. He had forgotten that Arthur and Gwen were watching this as well.

Gwen gave Arthur a sly smile. "Are you telling me that you did not do this quest alone and unaided?"

Arthur's cheeks became a rosy hue but before he was forced to explain himself, the scene had changed.

 _Merlin and Gwaine stood on top of a cliff. "There it_ is. _" Merlin said. "What's that in the sky?" Gwaine asked._

 _Both look on, trying to figure out what it was. "They're not birds." Gwaine_ said _"I've never seen creatures like that." They heard the roaring screech of the creatures. "Looks like they're hunting something."_

 _"What was that?" Merlin asked as they saw a glint of something on the ground. "A_ sword. _" Gwaine answered._

 _"It's_ Arthur. _" Merlin said, looking for the nearest way down._

 _Merlin and Gwaine were suddenly at the entrance to the ruins, looking up at the creatures. "I should have_ known. _" Gwaine said. "What are they?" asked Merlin. "Wyverns_.. _Distant cousins of the dragon. They're creatures of magic, so be careful."_

"Cousins of the dragon?" Arthur asked, looking at Gwen with a knowing smile that Merlin couldn't interpret.

The scene changed then and Merlin could only look on in horror as one of his most well kept secrets was revealed to his two best friends.

 _There was banging on the door, Arthur trying and failing to hold his sword up in defense. They watched as Arthur slowly lost his battle against fatigue, the bracelet on his wrist glowing ominously. Two wyverns entered the room but suddenly Merlin was at the top of the stairs on the other side. He looked around and found Arthur on the floor, the two wyverns approaching their prey. Merlin placed himself in front of Arthur and fearlessly commanded the wyverns in the Dragon tongue. The words foreign but the result undeniable as the wyverns submitted to his command and turned around, exiting the room without harming the prince._

Merlin could only stand there and watch as the scene continued, the image of himself kneeling beside Arthur and removing the bracelet from the prince. Arthur awoke almost immediately and Merlin shook his head as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. That dollophead!

King and Queen continue to watch as Gwaine entered and killed the wyvern before Merlin was forced to reveal his powers to him.

"The idiot was lucky that Gwaine appeared then. I don't think I would have reacted well to learning he was a Dragonlord, not then."

Merlin's gasp was audible and Arthur turned around in surprise. Both looked at each other with shock and guilt, trying to explain their actions at the same time. "Arthur, you have to believe…"

"Merlin! We were just…"

They fall silent, eyeing each other and trying to figure out how much the other knew. Merlin was the first to find his voice. "I'm so sorry!"

"Merlin, you have nothing to be sorry for." Gwen interfered, beckoning him closer.

"We," she gestured between herself and Arthur, "have been watching the memories in the stone that the creature gifted Arthur with."

Merlin looked at a loss for words, his face paling and hands shaking.

"Here. This is a list of things we've surmised thus far, it will be easier to just read this, rather than us telling you all we've seen."

With shaking legs, Merlin crossed the floor to Gwen and took the parchment.

1\. He knew about Morgana before anyone else.  
2\. He stopped Arthur from committing patricide and regicide – still not sure about the truth of that whole situation…  
3\. He consorted with a sorceress to save Arthur's life from the questing beast's venom.  
4\. He did not fall asleep, letting the horses escape – that was Cedric (this one seemed rather pointless to Merlin but it was here, all the same)  
5\. He poisoned Morgana in order to stop the sleeping spell.  
6\. His father was Balinor and he is now a Dragonlord. He pardoned the dragon and let it go.  
a. Dragonlords can come from both noble families and common folk.  
b. The gift of a Dragonlord is passed down from father to son.  
c. Some Dragonlords have magic – don't tell Merlin, he'll faint like a girl.  
7\. Merlin was the one who stopped the skeleton army and Uther's visions – Morgana claimed the honor at the time.  
8.

"I… What… I…" Merlin tried to say something but no thoughts formed coherently.

"You're not the complete idiot I've always said you were. We know that now. What you did, Merlin, there are no words. You've gone beyond the call of duty, beyond what anyone would have expected - what anyone else would have done, even! There's only one thing I can say right now." Merlin looked bewildered and a bit tearful, clearly having expected a shouting match or a reprimand. "Thank you." Arthur said with sincerity.

Gwen walked forward and gave Merlin a hug, causing him to finally find his voice again. "You're welcome." He said with a tremulous smile.

"Now, the hour is late, you should get to bed." Guinevere gently scolded and lead him to the door. "We'll see you in the morning."

Merlin gave her one last smile, a nod to Arthur and then left.

"Do you think it was wise, showing him all we have learned?" Arthur asked as he wrapped his arms around Guinevere.

"He was clearly terrified at you knowing about him being a Dragonlord, I think it was best to show him all that we have learned. He will contemplate it all tonight and will then know that he can speak to us about these things. He won't have to carry the burden of these secrets alone anymore."

Arthur nodded and they made their way to bed, it was getting rather late.

* * *

They _don't know. They don't know._ Merlin's thoughts were running a mile a minute. Arthur now knew a fair amount of his secrets, more than Merlin was comfortable with to be honest, but he – they – didn't know about the magic. In fact, they thought it a ridiculous concept if Arthur's little note about Dragonlords was anything to go by.

"But for how long?" Merlin muttered to himself. The Diamair had gifted Arthur with the stone, certainly he/it knew what Arthur would be able to handle and what not? Would it reveal Merlin's magic to Arthur? Merlin couldn't know for certain but it was a worrying possibility.

"Are you alright, Merlin?" Mordred's voice brought him from his contemplations and Merlin fought the instinctive urge to scowl at the man. He had done nothing wrong, not yet. He was a good knight and he was trying so hard to fit in. Merlin didn't really want to make things difficult for him but he could not forget the vision he had seen.

"I'm fine, thank you Mordred. Just found out some shocking news, nothing bad, don't worry." Merlin assured as Mordred took a concerned step forward. "It's late." Merlin said before Mordred could ask any more questions.

"Of course. Good night Merlin."

"Good night."

* * *

The next morning, Gwen was behind the screen, putting the final touches on her hair as Merlin entered with their breakfast.

"Morning Sire! My Lady." Merlin gave a nod to them both and se the tray on the table. While they ate, he made the bed and picked up the laundry, muttering about Arthur's clothes scattered across the floor.

"Morning Merlin." Gwen replied before she started eating. There was an awkward silence in the air. Neither Arthur nor Gwen willing to discuss the secrets they had uncovered, not with the man in question right there in the room. Merlin also seemed unwilling to talk about it, or anything else for that matter and kept puttering around until he had all the clothes in the basket.

"Well then. I'll just go do these and then come back for the dishes." Without waiting for a response, Merlin left.

Arthur looked at the door after it closed. "I didn't think things would be so awkward." He confessed.

"Give it time, before you know it, he will be himself again."

"Annoying, you mean." Arthur said with resignation.

"You enjoy his banter, don't deny it."

"Fine, whatever you say. Are you ready to watch the next memory?"

Together they stood and Arthur reached to turn the stone over.

 _The doors to the throne room opened up, a choir singing in the background. Gwen walked down the_ isle _, looking resplendent in a purple gown. Arthur stood before her and all those gathered as she knelt before him. With solemn_ dignity _Arthur began the ceremony. "By the sacred laws vested in me, I pronounce you Guinevere, Queen of Camelot." Guinevere smiled up at Arthur as he reached down to pull her up next to him. They smiled at each other and at the gathering, Merlin looking on in pride._

 _Morgana woke with a gasp as the dream ended but for her, it was more a nightmare than anything else and she worriedly touched her healing bracelet, wondering why it had not stopped this dream._

 _Morgana was walking through Arthur's chambers, holding something in her hand. When she reached the bed, she pulled the pillows up and placed a poultice down, covering it again with the pillows._

 _Uther was sitting at his desk completing some kind of paperwork when there was a knock at the door. "Enter." Morgana entered and Uther's face lit up. "Morgana."_

 _"I was concerned about you, my lord. You weren't at dinner." She walked over to pick up a candelabra._

 _"Ugh! I have no appetite."_

 _"You're worried about Arthur."_

 _"I do not understand his feelings for this girl. She's a servant."_

 _Morgana began lighting the candles as she answered, "It is strange that…"_

 _"What?" Uther asked._

 _"Arthur tells me everything, and he's never expressed any feelings for Gwen. And suddenly he's declaring his love for her."_

Gwen gasps and Arthur feels his shock mirrored in her. Morgana had known about his feelings, had even encouraged him to set up that picnic, the picnic she and Uther had interrupted…

 _"What are you saying, Morgana?"_

 _"I'm sure there's an explanation."_

 _"Speak your mind."_

 _"You yourself have noticed Arthur's strange mood. It's almost as though he's… been enchanted."_

"That's where my father got the idea. That's why they were searching my chambers. She set us up." Arthur was both angry and hurt but not nearly as surprised as he would have been, had he found out at the time.

Guinevere covered her mouth. "All because she had a dream about me becoming Queen. She never wanted me on the throne and she knew Uther would execute me if he ever suspected me of sorcery."

"But the old man…?" Arthur and Gwen looked at each other, neither knowing the answer.

 _The old man glanced around the corner where Arthur was speaking to two guards. With a grimace of a smile, he walked purposefully down the hall, making sure that Arthur saw him. Arthur followed with a frown. The old man made his way into the prince's chambers and to his bed, glancing behind him, he started muttering indistinctive words but he glanced around to be sure that the prince had followed him and would find him here. Arthur approached with his sword drawn. "Show yourself. Who are you?" the old man looked pleased to have been found._

 _"I am… Dragoon, The Great" He proclaimed._

 _"Is it you who planted the poultice in my bed?" Arthur_ _asked_

 _Looking down at the poultice in his hands, Dragoon confessed. "You have caught me red-handed. I have no choice but to confess."_

 _"An innocent girl almost died because of your actions."_

 _"I suppose your father will have to release her, now that you've caught me."_

The scene ended there and Arthur was grateful, he did not want his wife to see how easily this old man had bested him.

"I don't understand. If Morgana was the one who planted the first poultice and framed me, why did this old man plant a second one?"

"You saw his face, Arthur, he wanted to be caught. He planned it so that you caught him red-handed. He saved me!"

"But why?" Arthur asked, confused beyond anything.

"I don't know. But I'm grateful."

"It still doesn't excuse him. He killed my father."

Gwen squeezed his hand but they didn't say anything.

 **End Chapter 5**


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter disclaimer:** S01E03, S01E04, S01E09 and S03E05

 **Reasons**

There were so many questions without answers. The more Arthur learned, the more he realised that he actually knew very little. Had his father really gone to a sorcerer in order to gain an heir? Had Arthur been born of magic? Was his father's hatred of magic a cover for his guilt in his wife's death?

How could Arthur find the answers to these questions? Would the stone show him something if he asked? That thought sounded just plain ridiculous in his head but should he try? Should he take the chance?

"What is on your mind, Arthur?" Guinevere asked as she helped him out of his armour. Merlin had gone to the kitchens for their dinner so Gwen was helping Arthur until his return.

"Except for the obvious?" Arthur asked back.

Guinevere turned him around to loosen one of the ties at the back but not before Arthur saw her raised eyebrow. With a sigh, he tried to explain his thoughts.

"Could the stone show us something specific, a memory that we ask it to show? Could it show us something that we don't even know about, something we don't know to ask for by name? Does that even make sense?"

As the chainmail is pulled over his head, Arthur gives a silent sigh of relief that the heavy, cumbersome items are all off now. He stretches his arms above his head a bit and then pulls Guinevere into his arms after she had set the last item down.

"I think I understand, but I don't know if it is possible. There's only one way to find out. Try it."

"Should we wait for Merlin? He knows now what the stone has showed us, and most of the secrets revolves around him."

"What is it you want the stone to show? That should answer the question if Merlin should be here or not."

"Then I guess it doesn't really matter if he's here or not. I want to know about my father, his motivations for the purge. The reasons for all the decisions he made. It might not be the honourable thing to do, but if I'm to uphold my father's legacy, I need to understand it first."

"Then ask your question and see if the stone will provide you with answers."

Arthur picked up the stone but didn't know what to ask. Keep it simple and vague or ask about a specific event, like his birth? No, that would limit the answer/s. A question with more possible answers would be best.

"Show me why my father distrusts magic."

 _Gaius entered the council chambers with something held in his hands. Uther was laughing at something one of the members showed him. "Good news, Sire." Gaius said. "There are no new deaths and those that are sick are recovering."_

 _"Good." Uther proclaims, "Strange, I've never heard of an_ afanc _before."_

 _"It's conjured from clay by powerful magic. The type that can only be invoked by an ancient sorcerer. One who has the power to mirror the spirit of life." Uther stops drinking from his cup, clearly troubled by the news. "I found this at the water source." Gaius continues, unwrapping the thing in his hands. "It bears the mark of_ _Nimueh."_

 _"No." Uther breathes in shock._

 _"We must be vigilant, Sire."_

 _"Will I never be rid of her?"_

The scene changed but it was still the council chambers, only now there were more people there and they were busy strategizing for war.

 _"Sire, forgive the interruption, but may I speak with_ you. _" Gaius asks as he enters._

 _"Not_ now. _" Uther replies._

 _"Your_ highness _, it is important."_

 _"Word of Bayard's arrest has got back to Mercia. We're about to be attacked." Uther responds._

 _"I fear that what I have to tell you may have some bearing on your plans. Please, it will only take a moment." Uther stands back, far enough to give the illusion of privacy for the two of them._

 _"I know who tried to poison Arthur."_

 _"So do I, he's locked in my dungeons."_

 _"It wasn't Bayard. The poison was magical. And I'd_ recognise _the hand that made it anywhere…" Gaius looked around to make sure that no one could hear him, "Nimueh"._

 _"You must be mistaken." Uther declares._

 _"I wish I was."_

 _"It can't have been. We'd know her. That witch's face is not easily forgotten."_

 _"She's a powerful sorceress. She can enchant the eye that beholds her. We never knew it was her."_

 _"Have you any proof?"_

 _"The poison used against Merlin was made more potent by the use of magic."_

 _"You're saying that she conspired with Bayard to kill Arthur?"_

 _"No. Bayard is innocent. Look at what's happening. This is what she's wanted all along… A war to bring strife and misery to Camelot."_

 _"How long before Bayard's armies reach our walls?" Uther asked his First Knight._

 _"A day. Maybe less. We should send our cavalry out to meet them."_

 _Uther bends over the table and contemplates the situation. "Instruct your men not to leave Camelot until I give the word."_

 _"_ Yes sire _."_

 _"You are making the right decision,_ sire _." Gaius approves. Uther looks down, pondering the choice. "Do you think Arthur should be told the truth about Nimueh?"_

The scene ends there and Arthur can't hold in his frustrated growl. Nimueh. He's heard that name a few times now and realizes that Gaius was keeping secrets of his father, even now with Uther long dead. Luckily for Gaius (Arthur was sorely tempted to seek him out right that moment), the next scene had already started.

 _Uther was sitting alone in the dark when the doors suddenly opened. He reached for his sword on the table but exhaled in relief when he saw it was only Gaius. "Yes?" He asked._

 _"I'm sorry to disturb you,_ sire _."_

 _"What is it?"_

 _"The knight, the stranger… he bears the crest of Tristan De Bois." Arthur gasps, his hand going to his mouth as he hears the name of his mother's brother. As far as he knew, his uncle had been dead since shortly after his birth._

 _"_ Yes. _" Uther confirms_

 _"But he's been dead for 20_ years. _" Gaius says in confusion._

 _"I know. I killed him."_

 _"Then how do you explain…"_

 _"Dead men do not return." Uther looks at Gaius and they regard each other in silence. There is an unspoken conversation between_ them, _as if they both know that there is more to the situation than they were saying. At last, Gaius bows and walks out._

The scene changes again.

 _Uther is pacing in the council chambers when the doors open to admit Gaius. "Good evening,_ sire _."_

 _"Gaius." Uther greets._

 _"There is a matter of great urgency which I must discuss with you."_

 _"Then spit it out."_

 _"Tristan's tomb is empty." Uther looks at Gaius in surprise. "I believe he has been conjured from the dead."_

 _"How is this possible?"_

 _"I believe he's a wraith."_

 _"A spirit?" Uther asks_

 _"He has come to take vengeance for Ygraine's death."_

 _"It was magic that killed her, not I."_

 _"Nevertheless, it was you he blamed. You cannot allow Arthur to fight. No weapon forged by man can kill a wraith. It will stop at nothing till it has accomplished what it came for. Arthur cannot win, he will die."_

 _"He will not listen to me."_

 _"Then you must tell him who the knight is."_

 _"No." Uther rejects._

 _Gaius gave a disapproving frown. "You cannot hide the truth forever."_

 _"I am the King. You will not tell me what I can and cannot do."_

 _"That is your choice, sire.. you tell him, or let him go to his death."_

 _"No one but you or I will ever know the secret of Arthur's birth."_

 _"The boy is of age. He should know."_

 _"Never. You made an oath. I warn you not to break it."_

 _Gaius looks at his King for a long moment before acquiescing. "Very well, sire."_

 _"Leave me."_ Uther _orders and Gaius bows before exiting, both men still deep in troubled thought._

"So, it's true. All my mother told me, it's all true." Arthur said with a painful lump in his throat. Guinevere squeezes his hand, not trying to placate him with empty words or lies. It was painfully clear to both of them that there had to be some truth to what his mother had told him.

The next scene started and Gwen could only stand there and give silent comfort to her husband.

 _The door to the physician's chambers open and Uther steps in. Gaius shakes the water from his hands where he had been busy cleaning them. "I'm sorry" Uther states as he enters. "You knew that one day this business would come back to haunt me."_

 _"Not quite so_ literally. _" Gaius says as he dries his hands._

 _"I should have listened to you. You said that no good would come of using witchcraft at Arthur's birth."_

 _"You wanted an heir. You thought it was the only way."_

 _"You told me there would be a price to pay."_

 _"You weren't to know that that price would be Ygraine's life."_

 _"I cannot let Arthur die."_

 _"Then you must stop the fight."_

 _"No. I will take his place."_

 _"Do you know what you're saying?" Gaius asked_

 _"Ygraine gave up her life for him. So must I."_

 _"Uther."_

 _"I have no other choice."_

As the scene faded, Arthur felt tears sting his cheeks. The truth of the matter, the truth behind his birth, everything he had learned all came rushing through him. His father's sins might have been many and Arthur did not know if he could forgive this one but knowing that his father was willing to give up his life for him, and that in the end Uther had died defending his son, went a long way in taming his rage.

Arthur waited a whole minute but no other scene started.

"Thank you." Arthur says out loud, feeling a bit silly for thanking a stone, or a creature that couldn't possibly hear him but thankful nonetheless that he had finally learned the truth.

The stone glowed as if in answer but as Arthur and Gwen turned to each other, another image appeared, this time without them even touching the stone.

 _Uther was sitting next to Morgana's sick-bed. "So beautiful." He says as he caresses her hair._

 _"Yes,_ sire _." Gaius answers._

 _Merlin sits in his room just a few steps away from where the King is speaking to Gaius. "I cannot watch her die, Gaius."_

 _"I wish there was something I could do."_

 _"No, you don't understand. I cannot lose her. No matter what happens, she cannot die."_

 _Merlin moves closer to his door in order to hear a bit better._ "That nosy, insolent idiot! He could be flogged if he's caught." Arthur rants, Guinevere setting a calming hand on his arm.

 _"I will do everything I can, Sire."_

 _"No, Gaius, whatever it takes_.. _Whatever, I don't care. You MUST save her."_

 _"If I knew a way…"_

 _"You're not understanding me, Gaius. Cure her. I don't care what remedy you use." Uther had turned his stern gaze on Gaius, "In all these books there must be something. Something in the Old Religion?" Gaius pulls back in surprise, "Are you suggesting.." Merlin also pulls back a bit from the door, clearly just as surprised. "Sorcery,_ yes. _" Uther confirms._

 _Gaius is at a loss for words. "I know she's dear to you, sire, but surely you're not going to risk everything for Morgana."_

 _"Gaius, you don't understand. There's something you should know.. Something I've told no one. Morgana is my daughter. It was while Gorlois was away." Uther had_ _turned to face Gaius and did not see the movement of Morgana's eyes under their lids, or the twitching of her finger. "He was fighting on the Northern_ plains _. Her_ _mothing Vivian grew lonely."_

 _"I understand,_ sire _." Gaius exhales as the implication hits him, Merlin still listening at the door in astonished silence._

 _"I've said enough. The people must never know who Morgana really is, for Arthur's sake."_

 _"I assure you, sire, the secret is safe with me."_

 _Uther inclines his head and departs, Gaius making his way to Merlin's room, knowing that his ward had heard every word. "That explains everything. No wonder he spent a year looking for her." Merlin says as Gaius closes the door._

 _"Now we know why she can do no wrong."_

Arthur didn't realise he was trembling until he felt Guinevere take hold of his hand and lead him over to a chair. So many thoughts were running through his mind, he didn't know which to voice first or even how. After condemning so many people to the pyre for using magic, whether for good or bad, his father turned to it when he was the one in need. The hypocrisy of it grated at Arthur. He, himself, had turned to magic in order to save his father, thinking that his father would hate him for resorting to such measures.

Merlin had heard the truth that day, that's why he had not been as shocked as Arthur when he had found out. At first, Arthur was angry that Merlin had not told him but then he remembered that Merlin had effectively eavesdropped on the King and could have been flogged or even hanged if the king found out. Arthur knew himself well enough that he would not have been able to keep his knowledge from his father, Uther would have thought Gaius had betrayed him (which would have had him killed) or might even have found out that Merlin was the one to inform Arthur.

His friend, his servant, held so many secrets, many of which could have him executed by the laws of the land. Arthur wanted to strangle Merlin because of the sheer stupidity of his actions. Didn't he have a care for himself? With how many times Merlin had put his life on the line for Arthur, he was beginning to think that no, Merlin really did not care about his own wellbeing.

Guinevere did not speak, did not offer any words of comfort, knowing that Arthur would not appreciate empty platitudes right now. Instead, she simply stayed at the desk, doing some paperwork for the council and simply being there for Arthur with her quiet strength and support.

He was thankful and he gave her a brief smile as she looked up from her work before turning his head away and brooding on all they had learned today.

 **End Chapter 6**


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Disclaimer: S01E01, S01E04, S01E10, S02E03, S03E05**

 **Magic**

Arthur had spent the night thinking about what they had seen. He had, he knew, unconsciously already accepted the possibility that his father was responsible for his mother's death, if inadvertently.

The balance of the world, he understood, needed to be restored after the gift of life was granted. Even though his father had not known that his mother would be the price, the fact that he was willing to bargain away some nameless person's life didn't sit well with Arthur. That was one thing that had always separated him from his father, Arthur loved his people, all of them, even the poorest peasant. His father, much as he loved and admired him, was flawed in that regard.

Merlin's secrets, much as Arthur hated them, he understood the need for them. If Merlin had told anyone that he had gone to a sorceress in order to save Arthur, he would have been executed – no matter the motive. He would not have told anyone of Morgana's magic, too loyal to betray a secret not his own. Telling anyone that he had poisoned her, even though the alternative would have been the fall of Camelot, would have resulted in his execution – Uther would have understood the reason but would not have been able to accept the results. Eavesdropping on the King, hanged or flogged. Revealing himself as the Dragonlord, executed. Every single secret that Arthur had uncovered of Merlin would have resulted in a brutal punishment or death. Arthur understood and even accepted that, he just didn't like it.

"Sire." Merlin gave a half bow as he set the breakfast tray on the table. Arthur only just managed not to jump at the sudden appearance – he had been too deep in thought.

"Thank you, Merlin. What is on the schedule for today?"

"My Lady," Merlin pulls out the chair for Guinevere and gently takes her hand as he seats her at the table.

"There are a few petitions from outer villages first thing, then you need to preside over a competition as one of the judges and this afternoon a training session with the knights."

"Please tell me it is not another Garland competition." Arthur says, the horror clear in his voice. Merlin's face breaks into that bright grin of his and Arthur knows that this is even worse, though he can't imagine what it could be.

"No. It is a poetry competition! Leon was the one to volunteer your services." Merlin says with a grin as he quickly backs away to the door.

"Merlin!" Arthur shouts, searching around for a projectile he can throw at his mischievous manservant. Merlin's laughter floats in from the corridor where he has already disappeared.

"This is all his fault!" Arthur grumbles, and at Gwen's soft laughter but questioning look, he explains their run-in with Leon the other night.

Gwen's laughter soothes Arthur's indignation and he smiles as they finish their breakfast. He would get Merlin back for this, he wasn't sure how yet, but he would get him back.

* * *

"Your bath is ready, Sire." Merlin says as he pours the last bucket into the tub. Guinevere had taken her bath that morning so Arthur knows that they won't be sharing his tonight.

Arthur makes his way to the bath and after taking off the last of his clothing, he lowers himself in with a sigh.

Merlin putters about, getting Arthur's nightclothes and pulling down the blanket on the bed. When Arthur has thoroughly soaked himself and cleaned away the filth of the day, he calls out to Merlin to hand him his towel.

It is a routine that they had become comfortable with over the many years and Arthur is not the least bit embarrassed as he pulls the towel around his waist.

"We will look at another memory from the stone tonight, if you want to stay, you may do so." Arthur and Gwen had discussed this and they had decided that the question Arthur wants an answer to tonight is one they want Merlin to hear as well. To be honest, it is a question which Arthur wants to hear the answer to from Merlin himself but not tonight, tonight they just want honest, unbiased opinions.

Merlin looks uncertain but Arthur doesn't press, he knows that there are more secrets Merlin is keeping but he is fairly certain that his question to the stone tonight will not reveal any of them.

By the time Guinevere had returned from her evening stroll through the gardens, Arthur was dressed and relaxing in a chair by the fire with a glass of wine. Merlin had taken the dishes to the kitchen but just a minute after Gwen's return, he walked in.

"I'll watch with you, tonight." Merlin says with a confidence that is betrayed by the slight shaking of his hands.

Gwen smiles and Arthur puts his glass down before standing up.

"Let us seek some more answers then."

Picking up the stone and turning it over, Arthur sets it down as he asks "Show me if magic is good or evil."

Merlin's sharp intake of breath is audible in the silence that follows but Arthur doesn't know the reason for it. Is Merlin surprised because Arthur is questioning what he has always believed? Questioning his father's motives? After reading their list, Merlin should know that Arthur would question everything he had been taught!

Merlin's only thought was _Please don't show me. Please don't show me using magic._

 _An image was forming of a forest but before it could completely solidify it fades and a new image takes its place. (Merlin breathes a silent breath of relief, knowing that his wish had been heard and acknowledged.) A blond serving girl, holding a tray of fruit, knocks on a door. "Lady Helen," she says as the door opens "Compliments of the King." Lady Helen smiles and says "Come in." Sitting at her mirror, Lady Helen picks up an apple. "So sweet. How will I ever repay him?"_

 _The serving girl is cleaning up the room, removing fabrics from furniture as she replies. "When he hears you sing, that'll be more than enough, won't it? I'm really looking forward to the performance." She stokes the fire in the hearth._

 _"So am I." Lady Helen replies. The serving girl picks up another piece of fabric. "I love singing, you know. I sing all the time. My betrothed says I have the voice of a fallen angel." She's admiring the flowers in a vase and then pulling the fabric from the mirror where she sees not the face of Lady Helen, but that of an old woman, the old woman whose son had been executed not long ago. She gasps and looks at the Lady Helen fearfully. She tries to walk out as quickly as possible but the lady grabs her wrist and starts humming. "Shh." In less than ten seconds, the servant lies dead on the floor._

Arthur and Guinevere look at each other in shock. They had known about the servant's death, of course, but they had not known how it happened. It is a frightening thought that someone could kill you with just a touch. Was the stone telling them that magic was indeed evil?

 _Arthur was in a dark cave, hanging from a ledge. It was dark but suddenly there was a ball of light floating in the air next to him. "Come on then! What are you waiting for? Finish me off!" He screams, thinking it is the witch who had left him in that cave that sent the light. The light does nothing to harm him, however, merely hanging there before lifting into the air._

 _Arthur now sees the flower he came here for, the whole reason for his quest. The light_ beckon _him to follow but he is stubborn and will not leave without the flower that is needed to save Merlin. The spiders are closing in but Arthur grabs for the flower and at_ last _he has one. Tucking it into his belt, Arthur grabs for the wall and then takes off his gloves with his teeth, knowing he would move faster without them. The light is still there, showing him the way and moving_ faster, _as if beckoning him to do so as well. He looks up and sees the opening at the top, the light now disappearing through the hole, leaving Arthur to follow or stay and let the spiders finish him off._

Gwen grabs his hand, already knowing the story but it's still a frightening scene, seeing your husband go through something like that.

"One incident, especially one where the motive is so unclear, does not inspire me to look at magic in a favourable way." Arthur says softly and as if in answer, another scene starts to form.

 _Arthur was fighting Kanen's men but as he looked up, an unnatural wind picked up and tossed all the enemy fighters from their horses. The villagers were also thrown from their feet but they rallied quickly and the fight was won within minutes._

Arthur turned to face Merlin, there were unshed tears in Merlin's eyes but he took a deep breath and fought them back. "I had forgotten that your friend had magic, that he used it to save us." Arthur would have said more, asked a few questions maybe, but another scene was starting.

 _Morgana was walking with a man through a Druid camp. "They have nothing to fear from me. I do not share Uther's hatred of magic."_

 _"No, I imagine you wouldn't. These forests are dangerous. What brings you so far from Camelot?"_

 _"I'm searching for answers. I hoped the Druids might be able to give them to me."_

 _Merlin was moving silently between the tents, hoping to find Morgana alone and convince her to come back to Camelot._

 _"What would you like to know?" The man asked Morgana_

 _"Why I can see the future in my dreams? Why I'm able to start fires with my mind?" Morgana is clearly scared and confused._

 _"People who are able to do this are few and far between. You have a gift."_

 _"Is it magic?" Morgana asks_

 _"Of a kind, yes. It will take many years before you're able to understand it fully, let alone use it. This isn't something to be afraid of." The man assures as Morgana takes an unsteady breath_

 _"It is if you have Uther as your guardian. If he found out he'd have me killed."_

 _"He won't."_

 _"But if he did."_

 _"We won't let that happen. You're safe here. You shouldn't be scared of Uther, you should pity him." Merlin listened from his hiding place, weighing his options now that Uther had sent a search party for Morgana._

 _"Pity? Why?" Morgana asks_

 _"Because he's a broken man, consumed by fear. His hatred of magic has driven goodness from his heart."_

 _"I've always been taught that magic is evil. That it corrupts your soul."_

 _"Uther told you this. Just because he decrees it, doesn't make it so. In time you will learn that magic isn't a dark art that must be shrouded in secrecy. It can be a force for good." Morgana looks relieved to hear that and Merlin smiles where he is still hiding behind the tent._ Arthur thinks that Merlin must have been thinking of his friend, Will, who had used his magic for good.

The scene fades away and Arthur turns to Merlin. "You warned them we were coming, didn't you?" There is no accusation in his voice, just factual knowledge and Merlin nods. "Too late though, all I could do was create a diversion." Merlin said with a sad lilt to his voice. Arthur nods, not pressing for details yet.

"Morgana had been so scared." Guinevere said softly from behind them. Arthur nods again, he had seen that as well. Merlin started saying something but another scene was starting and he fell silent.

 _Merlin was kneeling next to a stream, cleaning his hands with tears running down his cheeks, soft sobs escaping him. "Tell me, why are you so sad?" A man suddenly asks._

 _Merlin looks up in surprise and suspicion but decides that there is little he can lose by answering truthfully. "It's my friend… He's dying. And I can't help him."_

 _"Then do not waste your tears, for I can tell you that the time for him to die is not yet upon us." Merlin looks at the man, not sure what he means. "Don't be afraid. My name is Taliesin."_

 _"I'm Merlin."_

 _"I know who you are. The moment of our meeting has been written for many many years."_

The scene stops there but immediately another takes its place and it doesn't seem as if the scene has changed at all.

 _The man takes hold of Arthur and turns him on his side so that he can place his hand on his back. A word and glowing eyes later, Arthur is groaning a bit and shifting in his sleep. "Arthur?" Merlin asks. "He is sleeping. Within hours he will be fully recovered."_

"Another secret Merlin? When exactly was this?" Arthur asks as he turns to his friend.

Merlin looks a bit sheepish as he answers. "There was an incident, many years ago, after the skeleton army but before the immortal one, where we tried to outrun a large group of bandits in the valley of the fallen kings. We were running and you got shot in the back."

"I remember. You told me it was an arrow. Later you told me it didn't pierce my armour. I thought there was something you weren't telling me! A sorcerer healed me!" Arthur isn't sure if he should feel indignant for that or grateful. He settled for confused, "Why would a sorcerer heal me?"

"You heard him, it was not your time to die." Merlin said, as if that explained everything.

"Yes, Merlin, I heard him, but that doesn't explain why a sorcerer would help the son of a king who would have him executed."

Merlin gives a shrug, not knowing the answer either.

The stone has not produced another scene so Arthur turns to Gwen. "Do you have any theories? Or any insight on any of the scenes from today?"

"Well, we did see magic used for good, the first was innocuous, the second was to help turn the battle in our favour. The third scene didn't really show magic in any way but it showed that fear and grief is what drove Uther's purge and it showed that Druids believe magic should be used for good. It also showed that Morgana fears her magic, I would not be surprised if she still feared it but instead of learning how to use it for good or how to trust in her magic, she now used it out of fear. Fear of being caught, fear of being thought weak or a monster. What drove Uther might be the exact same emotion that drives Morgana. Uther's fear had turned to hate, I think Morgana's has as well. She hates herself for what she has become but the fear is fuelling it." Guinevere trails off and Merlin gives her shoulder a squeeze, knowing that she still remembers the days where Morgana had been filled with love and concern towards others, the days before her fear of what she could do had taken over.

Before anything else could be said, there was a sharp rap on the door and Arthur called out "Enter".

Leon walked in, giving a bow. "Sire, my Lady. The princess Mithian has arrived, I fear something has happened."

 **End chapter 7**


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Disclaimer: Scenes from way too many episodes to list...**

 **Funny feelings and destiny**

Arthur knew by now not to dismiss Merlin's 'funny feelings' out of hand but pride, as well as a sense of duty, kept him from changing his mind. Mithian's plight was genuine, and he knew he had to help her. When Merlin was found at the stream, a knock to the head, seeming as if he had tripped and fallen, Arthur briefly considered delaying their mission but he forged ahead when he remembered that Rodor did not have the time for them to second guess themselves.

When Merlin impaled the man that had been about to attack Arthur, he found himself surprised, not to find Merlin there, no, he had subconsciously expected him to show up for a few minutes now, but with the fact that Merlin had just killed someone with a sword. Arthur really did not want to become dependent on these last-minute rescues from Merlin but if ever there was a time for Merlin to unexpectedly show up, right when that quake hit was a perfect time.

The journey home was silent and contemplative. The truce forged with Odin left a bitter taste in his mouth but Arthur knew it was the right thing to do, even with the man who had his father killed.

* * *

That night, standing around the table with just the stone in front of them, Arthur looked first to Guinnevere before turning his gaze to Merlin. "Just how many times have you felt that something was not quite right with a mission before being proven correct?"

Merlin looked startled at the question and seemed to be seriously considering the answer, Arthur rolled his eyes before saying "That was rhetorical, idiot, I'm interested to see what the stone has to show on the subject..."

"Oh..." Merlin looked both sheepish and a bit fearful "er... maybe we shouldn't..."

"Nonsense, let's see what it has to show." Arthur turned the stone over and asked the question again, this time using Merlin's name as a reference.

 _Merlin and Arthur rode through the woods and spied a small town. Arthur led the way to the local tavern where they dismounted their horses and tied them down. "No better place to measure the mood of your people, than the local tavern." Arthur said as he secured his horse._

 _"This is one of those moments where I tell you something isn't a good idea and you ignore me, isn't it?" Merlin asked, already knowing the answer._

 _"You're learning, Merlin, slowly, but you're learning._

 _Now, remember, in here, you're not my servant, I'm just a simple peasant like everyone else."_

 _"Simple part's right." Merlin said as he fell into step next to Arthur._

 _"What?" Arthur asked, having not heard the comment._

 _"I said, the sun is very bright." Merlin replied, looking up and shading his eyes._

Merlin's snort was quickly disguised as a cough but as Arthur turned to glare at him he saw the slight smile on his wife's face. All three of them turned back to the scene which was still running and Merlin blushed as he watched.

 _"Afternoon. What will it be?" The bar lady asked as they settled down at a table. "Errr..." Arthur looked around, not sure what the local brew was. "Hmm.. You're a handsome fellow."_

 _"Well, you wouldn't be the first to say it." Arthur said arrogantly._

 _"Oh, no, sorry." The bar lady answered with an embarrassed smile. "I was talking about your friend here." She continued as she gave Merlin a once over and a smile._

Gwen was laughing softly at the scene in front of her, knowing that Arthur still had the same arrogance but had a better handle on expressing it. The scene continued and both men tried to look anywhere but at Gwen, both embarrassed but for different reasons.

 _"Take your hands off her." Arthur said as he stood up to the man who had so rudely entered the establishment and demanded a payment he had no right to. The man slowly turned to face Arthur and swung the mace he was holding at the prince. Arthur sidestepped him and sent him tumbling into a rack. "I'm gonna make you pay for that." The man said. "I'd like to see you try." Merlin said with a soft laugh. The man looked at Merlin for a moment before turning serious and summoning his backup with a whistle._

 _"You had to open your big mouth, didn't you, Merlin?"_

The scene continued but Arthur and Merlin didn't watch it, having their own argument now. "I would say that in this case, you were the cause of your own bad feeling, Merlin. If you hadn't opened your big mouth, we wouldn't have had any trouble."

"Oh, so it was my fault, was it? I was the one who approached him first, was I?"

"No, but you were the one to provoke him." Arthur answered defensively.

"Oh, come on, Arthur! He would have called in his men the moment he realized you were the better fighter, I just speeded up the process a bit, making sure you didn't tire yourself out before the back-up arrived." Merlin's defended.

 _"Merlin, behind you!"_

 _The scene ended there, Merlin ducking the chair that was thrown at him and Arthur knocking the guy pinning him down over the head._

Gwen shook her head at the two, a small smile playing at her lips. Another scene started then, breaking up the renewed argument between the two men.

 _Arthur and Merlin were running through a forest, a band of renegades chasing them into a valley. Slipping into an area where they had a bit of cover, the two stopped to catch their breaths. "I told you we would outrun them." Arthur said after looking over the ridge. "Are you sure?" Merlin asked skeptically._

 _"Why is it, you never trust me, Merlin?" Just after he finished the question, Arthur looked up to see the renegades coming from the other direction and he and Merlin took off again._

 _"Where are we going?" Merlin asked as he and Arthur made their way through the valley. "Trust me." Arthur answered and Merlin just shook his head but followed obediently._

 _Merlin suddenly stopped, as if a great force had suddenly slammed into him. "Arthur." Merlin called, extremely agitated and not wanting to continue forward._

 _"What are you doing?" Arthur asked, going back and grabbing Merlin by the arm. "Come on!" He literally dragged Merlin further into the valley._

The scene stopped there and Arthur looked around with a frown. "Why did it show us this?" Merlin looked up, not sure how to answer. "Oh, wait. This was just before that scene where the man healed me, wasn't it? The scene we were watching a few nights ago?" Merlin nodded slowly, glad that Arthur was able to connect the two scenes without further input from him.

"Alright, so yes, that might be one of the times where I ignored your feelings and pushed us to go through." Merlin stared at Arthur, open-mouthed. "Oh, do close your mouth, Merlin. I have admitted my mistakes in the past, it is not such a rare occasion." Merlin's mouth snapped shut and he wisely didn't point out that Arthur almost never admitted any mistakes he made regarding Merlin and his 'funny feelings'.

 _Merlin was setting up a horse, tying his waterskin to the saddle as Morgana's voice reached his ears. "Aren't you forgetting something?" The cold smile she gave Merlin was clear to those who cared to look. "I don't think so." Merlin replied in a flat voice. "But I'm coming with you." Morgana said with hidden delight at Merlin's reaction. "Didn't Arthur say?" "No, he didn't." Morgana regarded Merlin with a cold look before passing him by._

 _Arthur approached then. "Don't just stand there, Merlin. We need another horse." Merlin walked closer to Arthur, seriously having second thoughts about this whole mission. "Why didn't you tell me that she was coming?" "Why should I? What difference does it make to you?" Arthur asked in surprise._

 _"I think it's a bad idea." Merlin answered earnestly. "Who's gonna watch my back if we get into trouble?" Arthur asked. Merlin looked lost for a moment before answering "I am." Arthur laughed. "Come on, she's a darn sight better with a sword than you are and you know it. Besides, she insisted." and with that, Arthur moved on to his horse. "I bet she did." Merlin said to himself._

Those watching the scene, only now understanding that Merlin had good reason to question Morgana's presence on the trip. Everyone was quiet as they thought back to those days, the days when they still considered Morgana one of them. Well, Merlin had obviously known that she was already betraying them but at that time, Gwen and Arthur both still considered her a dear friend.

 _Arthur and Merlin made their way through the rocky terrain and hunkered down. The sea lapping at the shore behind them. They looked up at the old castle and Merlin asked "Are you sure we shouldn't try to sneak into the castle itself, it might be easier?" "No, the tunnels are a better bet. That way the element of surprise is guaranteed." Arthur went to stand up but Merlin pushed him back down. "NO, no, no." Arthur looked at Merlin in surprise. "Are you questioning my judgment?" "No, no. It's, it's just err... an instinct. That's all." Merlin said, no better explanation coming to him. "Oh well, if you got an instinct, we should ignore my lifetime of military experience." Arthur said sarcastically._

 _"What if it's a trap? What if Cenred knows about the tunnels?" "I'm willing to bet my life, he doesn't." Arthur answered and pulled Merlin up before heading back to get Gwen and Morgana._

The scene continued on and those watching could now see that Morgana set a ring down at the entrance to the tunnels which had led Cenred's men directly to them.

"Alright, alright. So there were a few times that I should have, maybe, possibly, taken your advice, Merlin, but I think that's enough for now." Arthur picked the stone up, hoping that this would stop the next scene from forming. He held it in his hands for a minute and no new scene was forthcoming so Arthur put it back down.

The three turned to each other, intending to discuss recent events and maybe also a few of the scenes they had witnessed but just as Arthur formed a question in his mind, the stone glowed a bit and a new scene started.

 _Merlin was stood on a bench right outside one of the guest quarters. An eerie whimpering scream sounded from the room within. Merlin spied through the vent to see the princess Elena tossing and turning on her bed. Her maid, Grinhulda stood beside her bed and dusted some kind of powder over the sleeping princess' face. The princess' face glowed and contorted into a different face and Merlin stumbled back on the bench in surprise. The pot that was on the bench fell off with a clatter and Grinhulda went to investigate, catching sight of Merlin's retreating form._

 _Merlin stormed into Gaius's chambers and quickly closed the door behind him. "You were right. Poor girl! No wonder she's got a wind problem. You should see what she's got trapped inside her. We have to tell the king." Gaius sat back with a weary expression. "Merlin, Lord Godwin is one of Uther's dearest friends. Accusing him of having a sidhe for a daughter and a pixie for a nurse, is not something that can be undertaken lightly."_

 _"But Uther wants Arthur to marry her."_ The scene abruptly ended there and Merlin breathed a silent sigh of relief, only to drop his head in embarrassment when the next scene started.

 _"I got it." Merlin stormed into Gaius's chambers and Gaius looked up, a disgruntled expression on his face. "Grown in boggy and marshy terrain." Gaius said with a slight nod at Merlin's less than stellar appearance. "In the middle of boggy and marshy terrain. Right in the middle."_

 _"You did a good job." Gaius comments as he takes the plant from Merlin. "This will sort things out. Hopefully before tomorrow's wedding." Merlin eyed Gaius for a moment before asking: "Will it hurt her? When the fairy leaves?" "She'll feel like a new person." Gaius answered. "She probably doesn't realize how much trouble it's been causing her."_ The scene changed, flowing into the new one seamlessly.

 _Merlin stormed into Princess Elena's chambers with some kind of walking stick in his hands. He gave Gaius a questioning look to which Gaius answered "I'm trying!" Merlin passes the stick to Gaius, grabs the vial from Elena's hands and says. "Elena, this is gonna make you feel a whole lot better." He pinched her nose closed and forced the concoction into her mouth._ The scene ends there and Arthur and Gwen turn questioning eyes on Merlin.

"What?" He asks, "The scenes are pretty self-explanatory. She was possessed by a sidhe, a fairy, Gaius made a potion to get it out of her and I forced her to drink it. I did not think it right to let her walk down the aisle with a fairy still possessing her." Merlin turned away from them, busying himself with their dinner plates and other things.

Arthur and Gwen looked at each other and held a silent conversation, it looked like Arthur lost their battle of wills as he turned to Merlin expectantly. "Just how many times have you done something like that? How many times were there things happening right under our noses that we had no idea about? How many times did you save not only me but Camelot as a whole?"

Before Merlin could answer, a sequence of events played out before them. Each flowing into the next so quickly that king and queen could barely discern when one ended and the next started...

The scene where Merlin dived after Arthur in the lake was once again shown, as was the one where he offered his life in exchange for Arthur's.

 _Merlin was standing still, mist surrounding him and Gaius looking on with a frown on his face. Merlin made his way through the courtyard slowly, walking around the rubble that lay in his path. He came to a standstill a few meters from Gaius and the old man eyed him wearily until a smile broke over Merlin's face and he held up a blue heart-shaped object, laughing softly in relief. Gaius embraced Merlin "Well done my boy!" Their relief was clear on their faces._

"What?" Arthur asked but the next scene had started and he could not complete the question.

The next scene was one that Arthur recognized and he took Gwen's hand as she gasped. It was the night that Merlin and Gaius killed him in order to make Uther cry. Guinevere had heard the story but seeing the events was a whole new level of anguish for the queen. "Good lord Merlin, you never told me that someone ambushed you and the vial was dropped. If you hadn't soaked up the cure with your neckerchief, I might have died that night." Merlin's embarrassed shrug was all they could get as a new scene started.

This one was once again familiar as it was the scene where Merlin had stopped Arthur from killing his father. All three watchers knew the truth now and Arthur turned to Merlin saying a heartfelt "Thank you, Merlin. You were right, I would never have forgiven myself if I had killed him." Merlin nodded in acknowledgment and they turned to watch the next scene.

The scene where Merlin had to poison Morgana to stop the Knights of Medhir brought tears to all their eyes but as Merlin looked at his king and queen, he saw not anger and condemnation but understanding and pity. Arthur gave him an awkward pat on the back before turning to watch the new scene that had started. This was the one where Arthur had gone to the Perilous lands and they smiled at him to reassure him that the fact that he was a dragonlord would not change how they saw him. The next scene was one the king and queen had not seen before and they could only watch in growing awe and gratitude as their friend once again proved he was braver than any knight.

" _We need to act before Morgana gets any stronger." Merlin and Gaius are sitting in a cave, one that the watchers recognized from somewhere. "Have you sent word to Lancelot yet?" "I sent a letter to Helldore, days ago. He's probably moved on." "Give it time." Gaius answered. "We don't have time, we need to act now." "I know, Merlin. But how?" "There was an immortal army before. How was it defeated?" "The cup of life had to be emptied of the blood it contained. Once that had happened, the enchantment no longer held." "Then that's what I have to do." Merlin says with conviction._

 _There was no picture, just sound. Merlin's voice was hesitant as he asked "Freya?" "I've missed you." A woman's voice answered. "You?" Merlin's voice is thick with emotion. "Merlin, we don't have long." "Is it really you?" "I swore that one day I would repay you. Now is the moment." "I don't understand." Merlin answered. "There is but one weapon that can slay something which is already dead." "A blade forged in a dragon's breath." Merlin's answer was filled with wonder and hope. "That weapon lies at the bottom of the lake of Avalon, where you hid it." "But Morgana's army is not dead, they're very much alive." Merlin answered, unsure how this weapon could help them. "Anyone who toys with the cup pays a terrible price. The moment they entered their pact with Morgause, they became the living dead. You must come to the lake." "And you would give me the sword?" "In your hands, it has the power to save Albion." "Thank you." Merlin's voice is earnest. "Now. It's given me the chance to see you again"._

 _Merlin and Lancelot stood in a corridor, "This way." Merlin said confidently but as they stepped forward, an enemy soldier came out of one of the passageways. Lancelot engaged him and held him off for a while but then he moved to fight Merlin. Merlin parried a blow before striking the enemy in the back and those watching could only stare in surprise as the man literally disappeared into nothing before their eyes. Lancelot eyed the sword with a mixture of surprise, fear and hope. "What is that?" "It was forged in a dragon's breath." Merlin answered with a smile before continuing on with their mission._

 _Lancelot was sitting, leaning against a pillar and Merlin moved passed him at a run, he picked up a sword that lay in front of the pedestal that the cup of life stood on (a sword that Arthur could have sworn looked exactly like the one he had pulled from the stone), and he used it to knock the cup from the pedestal, blood splattering against the pillars. In the next scene, the watchers could see that at the exact moment that the blood was emptied, the immortal soldiers all disappeared in a shower of lights and ash._

The scene faded and Arthur turned to Merlin, not knowing what to say or do. There were so many questions answered with these scenes but so many more were now forming in his mind. Just what drove Merlin to do what he did? What made the man so loyal to him, to Camelot, a land he was not born to. Why did he risk so much for so little reward?

"Why, Merlin? Why do you do it? We have seen so many things these past few weeks, things that showed us without a doubt that you would lay your life down for me and for Camelot, yet you are no knight. You are not even a citizen of Camelot. Why do you risk so much for us?"

Merlin contemplated the question, choosing how to answer, what to answer and what to leave out. Before he could voice it, however, the stone glowed again and Merlin could only look on in horror.

 _There was once again no image, just sound but the words rang through the room with a power that resonated in their bones. "Arthur, is the Once and Future King who will unite the land of Albion." "Right." Came Merlin's skeptical voice. "But he faces many threats, from friend and foe alike." "I don't see what this has to do with me." Merlin answered and his voice sounded young, innocent. "Everything! Without you, Arthur will never succeed. Without you, there will be no Albion."_

 _"No, no, you've got this wrong." Came Merlin's petulant voice. "There is no right or wrong. Only what is, and what isn't." "No, I'm serious, if anyone wants to go and kill him, they can go ahead, in fact, I'll give them a hand." The powerful voice laughed at Merlin. "None of us can choose our destiny, Merlin. And none of us can escape it."_

 _"No, no way, no, no, there must be another Arthur because this one's an idiot." "Perhaps it's your destiny to change that."_

The scene stopped there and Merlin slowly turned to face his king, his friend.

"An idiot, Merlin?" Arthur asked with a raised eyebrow, exactly the same time that Gwen questioned. "Once and Future King? What does that mean?"

 **End chapter 8**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Disclaimer: Scenes from S01E07, S01E10, S01E13,**

 **Prophecy and influence**

Merlin gave Arthur a sheepish grin. "Well, at that time, I really thought you were an arrogant prat with no redeeming qualities." At Arthur's indignation, Merlin quickly continued. "Obviously, I was wrong. I learned that you were proud, not just arrogant. Strong in mind, not just body. You have compassion, loyalty and a love for your people that most kings never exhibit."

"As for the 'Once and Future King' bit," Merlin continued as he turned to Gwen, "that is what the dragon told me. Arthur is the Once and Future King of prophecy. He is destined to do great things."

"Prophecy?" Arthur asked. "I remember the creature in the cave, the one that gave me the stone, mentioned prophecies. What do you know of it, Merlin? What did it mean?"

Merlin looked at Arthur for a moment, unsure of how to answer. "There are prophecies of the 'Once and Future King', prophecies that mention he is destined to be the greatest king to ever live. Destined to unite the lands of Albion. You are that King, Arthur. You have united more kingdoms in peace than any king before you, allied with those you would rather see dead." Arthur acknowledged those words, thinking of Odin and the fact that he had entered a peace treaty with him when all he had wanted to do was kill the man. "You are a great king, Arthur. The greatest king that Camelot could ever ask for. Your people love you." Merlin continued earnestly and Arthur felt humbled by what his servant said.

"It might have been the prophecy that inspired me and prompted me to be your servant but it is you, Arthur, who inspired me to stay. Your loyalty and courage made me realize that prophecy or no, you are a man, a King, that I am honored to serve and to follow. One I would give my life for." Merlin ended with an earnest expression and Arthur stood still, regarding his manservant and friend fondly. He gave a regal nod and turned to his wife, enfolding her in a hug. They watched in silence as Merlin collected their dinner plates and left with a bow and a "See you in the morning, Sire, Your Highness."

They stood there, arms around each other for a few minutes before Arthur pulled back. "Has he really changed me that much? Has Merlin really been that instrumental in the King I am today?" If not for the fact that Arthur knew Merlin well, very well, then he might have been more upset and indignant that a servant had played such a big role in who he was today.

"You have to admit, Arthur, that Merlin knows you better than almost anyone. I might even go so far as to say he knows you better than I do. He is with you all hours of the day, he knows your moods and your desires as well as he knows his own. That he has influenced you is no question, for he has been with you for ten years, day in and day out. You are your own man, however, and you do not always listen to him, you follow your heart, which is all that we could ask for."

Guinevere lifted her hand to his cheek and tilted her head up, giving him a soft kiss. "The man you are today, Arthur Pendragon, has been forged not by Merlin's influence or mine, but by that of your people. Camelot as a whole is what you care for, what you love as King, and it is Camelot that has made you who you are today. That your heart is big enough to have accepted this change, that is what is important. No other king I know or have known in the past could compare to the king you are, Arthur. You are the greatest King to have ever lived. The prophecies are right about that."

Soft fingers brushed at his cheeks and Arthur was embarrassed to realize that a few tears had slipped past his notice.

"I would still like to see how Merlin has influenced me into the man I am today. Surely he hasn't played that big of a role?"

Before Guinevere could answer, the stone glowed and a new scene started playing...

 _Arthur and Merlin enter the Prince's chambers, "Make sure you put her in a decent room." Arthur says as he takes off his gloves. "The one next door is empty." Remarks Merlin. "The one next door is fine." Answered Arthur, "Excellent, in fact." Merlin grins at him from where he stands. "Shut up, Merlin."_

 _"What? I didn't say anything." "You didn't have to. I want to make it clear that my intentions towards Sophia are completely honorable." Merlin nods in mock seriousness. "Put her in the room on the other side of the castle." Arthur says in a resigned voice. "It's warmer, more comfortable." "Of course." Merlin answers. "She, err... is very beautiful." "Yes, she is." Arthur agrees. "And if your intentions are honorable." Continues Merlin. "Oh, they are. Most definitely." Arthur agrees. "Then what's the problem with her staying next door?" Arthur thinks for a while then answers. "There isn't one. You've convinced me. Put her in the room next to mine." Merlin smirks at Arthur and the prince makes a hasty exit._

The next scene starts immediately before Arthur could face Gwen and apologize for any hurt feelings the scene might have conjured.

 _Arthur is sitting outside Merlin's childhood home, sharpening his sword. Merlin joins him and sits in silence for but a moment before he speaks. "William's father was killed, fighting for King Cenred. So he doesn't trust anyone with nobility." "So do you think the villagers believed him?" Arthur asked. "No. He's always been a trouble maker. They're used to ignoring him."_

 _"And if he's right?" Arthur asked. "He isn't." Merlin assures and the watchers see Hunith listening in the background, something which the two outside the hut were unaware of. "We're treating these men like soldiers, and they're not." Arthur explains. "You've seen them fight, they haven't got a clue." Merlin looks at where Arthur is gesturing and he doesn't deny the words. "You need to tell them all to leave the village before Canen returns." "No, we're going to stay, we're going to fight, and we're going to win." Merlin is earnest in his resolution. Arthur shakes his head, "Merlin, it can't be done. The odds are too great." "It can. We're gonna make Canen rue the day he ever came to this village. All you need to do is get the men ready for battle. The rest will take care of itself." Anyone watching could see that Arthur had serious reservations about the mission and doubted that they would be able to save anyone. "How?" He asked plaintively. "You've just got to believe in them. Because if you don't, they'll sense it, and the battle will be lost before it's even begun."_

Looking back on that day, Arthur realized that even then, less than a year after meeting Merlin, he had already listened to his servant's earnest words and his unshakable trust in Arthur's leadership had spurred him on to face the impossible. Despite the odds against them, they had triumphed that day. Arthur thought back to Merlin's friend, the one who had turned the tide and thought that if it had been today, he might not have reacted quite as harshly as he had then.

 _Merlin entered Arthur's quarters hesitantly, closing the door behind him softly as Arthur stood at the table and poured himself a drink. "Ah, Merlin." The prince greets. "How are you?" Merlin asked. "Good." "I'm pleased" "Yes. I owe it all to Gaius." Merlin looks down at that, not saying anything but knowing the truth. "I need to talk to you." Arthur takes a sip from his goblet before answering, "You still haven't got it yet, have you? I decide when we need to talk." Merlin looks at Arthur for a moment before looking down. "Not today." "I sometimes wonder, if you know who I am." "Oh, I know who you are." Merlin answered and stepped closer. "Good." Arthur answered, lifting his goblet to take another sip but pausing halfway as Merlin continues. "You're a prat. And a royal one." Arthur laughs softly and places his goblet down on the table, rubbing at his healing arm. "Are you ever going to change, Merlin?" "No, you'd get bored... Promise me this, if you get another servant, don't get a bootlicker." Arthur thinks about this for a moment before answering. "If this is you trying to leave your job..." "No, I'm happy to be your servant, till the day I die." Merlin's earnest tone causes Arthur to look up and the eyes of his servant are earnest as well, holding firm conviction to his words. "Sometimes I think I know you, Merlin. Other times..." Arthur shakes his head. "Well, I know you. You're a great warrior. One day, you'll be a great king."_

 _"That's very kind of you." Arthur says in surpise. "But you must learn to listen as well as you fight." Arthur looks indignant now, "any other pointers?" "No. That's it. Just... don't be a prat..."_

Arthur looked at Guinevere in shock. "This was just after the questing beast bit me and Gaius gave me that remedy. Merlin had bargained with that sorceress for my life and he was saying goodbye." Guinevere took his hand and led him to a chair by the fireplace. "It still doesn't make sense though... How could he be alive if he had exchanged his life for mine? We both came out of that situation alive. What are we missing?"

"I don't know, Arthur. We might never know." Guinevere answered and they sat in silence, pondering all that they had seen. "Thank you." Arthur directs at the stone, still feeling silly for speaking to an inanimate object but hoping that it would stop any more scenes from playing. They had enough to think about for now. Guinevere regards him for a moment, "These scenes were all within the first year of meeting Merlin. If there are already three scenes where he had changed or influenced your life to such a degree, I can only imagine how many instances there are in later years."

Arthur thinks about this for a moment before nodding his agreement. "Indeed, it seems even small, innocuous instances where he influenced my decisions had a more profound impact on me and everything I do than I ever realized."

"He is an advisor to you, unofficial as it may be. No, Arthur, don't bother denying it, we both know it is true. Merlin does not seek recognition for the parts he plays, not formal recognition at least. As long as you keep an open mind to what he says, I am sure that he will be happy to serve you till the day he dies. He admitted as much in that scene."

Arthur lay in bed that night, thinking of all they had learned and it was only after the midnight bell had rung that he finally fell asleep.

* * *

The days which followed were busy, Arthur and Gwen occupied with the paperwork involved in the new treaty they had signed as well as new trade routes they wanted to open.

Nemeth had been restored to its rightful king and Rodor had agreed that trade carts would be permitted to ride through their land to Odins'.

Even with all the work they had, Arthur thought it a good idea to ask Geoffrey for any records on the prophecy Merlin and the creature spoke of. He just asked for references of the "Once and Future King", not wanting to mention the creature or bring Merlin's name into this.

Geoffrey once again brought a stack of papers to the king and queen's quarters but this time he relinquished them without question. Muttering something about 'strange times afoot' and 'contacting old friends'.

Arthur and Gwen quickly divided the stacks in two, each taking one to work through. It took less than three paragraphs for Arthur to feel the first stirrings of worry and dread. Guinevere looked up from time to time with a worried frown creasing her brow but she said nothing. When Arthur looked up after reading his third scroll, his wife was biting her bottom lip and scanning through the pages as quickly as possible.

"Guinevere." She looks up at him, worrying at her lip for a moment before catching herself and releasing it. "Are there mentions of Emrys in those pages?" The worried frown smoothed out and she nods. "Yes. Every single reference regarding the 'Once and Future King' also makes mention of a powerful sorcerer, the most powerful to ever walk the land. Emrys."

Arthur nods, "It is the same for these," he indicates the three he had gone through before continuing. "They all speak of Emrys and how he would help the 'Once and Future King' unite the lands of Albion." He does not mention the one scroll that also spoke of a druid, a druid who might be the end of the 'Once and Future King' but there were conflicting references so Arthur put it aside for the time being.

"Guinevere." Arthur says once again. "That scene we watched a while ago, the one with no image, just sound. The voice told Merlin that he is destined to help me unite the lands of Albion..." Arthur's voice is soft and lost, he is not sure if he is understanding this correctly, not sure if he wants to.

Gwen stands up and kneels next to Arthur, she had come to the same conclusions but hadn't known how to voice them.

"What do you want to do, Arthur?"

 **End chapter 9**


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Disclaimer: Scenes from S01E08, S04E01, S04E07, S04E13, S01E11, S01E06**

 **Emrys**

Arthur looks deep into Guinevere's eyes and he knows that she had already accepted the truth, even if he was struggling with it. He looks out the window, the sun is high in the sky, it is after midday but not evening yet. There was time enough before Merlin showed up. Picking up the stone, Arthur asks as clearly as possible, "Who is Emrys?"

 _Merlin enters Morgana's chambers with a cloth wrapped bundle. "What took you so long?" She asks. "Sorry," Merlin answers "once Gaius gets going about anatomy there's no stopping him." A young boy is shown to be sleeping but the watchers quickly realize that he is not just sleeping but is fevered. There is a druid symbol on his chest and both king and queen recognize the boy. Merlin kneels down beside him and spoons some sort of paste onto a wound on the boys' arm. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" Morgana asks skeptically._

 _"I'm doing my best." Merlin answers. "I'll get you some more water." Morgana says, realizing that even if Merlin doesn't have the qualifications of a healer, he really is doing the best he can. "Thank you, Emrys." a soft boyish voice sounds. Merlin looks at the boy surprised. "Emrys? Why do you call me that?" "Among my people, that is your name." "You know who I am? How?" The boy doesn't answer and his eyes move restlessly behind his closed eyelids. "Speak to me." Merlin says. "I don't know if he can't speak or he's just too scared to." Morgana answers unexpectedly and Merlin looks at her before looking down at the boy again, he seems to be unconscious._

 _Merlin makes his way down some stairs with a torch in his hand. He enters an enormous cavern and calls out a questioning "Hello?" He looks around a bit, searching for something and Arthur jumps along with the Merlin in the image as a dragon suddenly roars behind him. "Do you have to do that?" Merlin asks indignantly. "You scared the life out of me."_

 _"The young warlock." The dragon greets. "No doubt you are here about the druid boy." "How did you know?" "Like you, I hear him speak." "Why does he call me, Emrys?" "Because that is your name." "I'm pretty sure my name's Merlin, always has been." "You have many names." "Do I? How does the boy know who I am? I've never even met any druids." "There is much written about you, that you have yet to read. You should not protect this boy." "Why? He has magic, he's just like me." "You and the boy are as different as day and night." "What do you mean?" "Heed my words, Merlin." "Why should I not protect him?" The dragon flies off without an answer._

"Arthur," Guinevere says in a soft voice "you're squeezing my hand."

"Oh, sorry." He gives her a hesitant smile before dragging his eyes back to the stone, waiting. Sure enough, another image is forming.

 _Morgana is lying on a cold slab floor, unconscious. A hand touches her cheek and she awakes. She seems to be in pain and a bit confused as she sits up. She then sees the tear in the world that she had created with her sister's death and a woman standing in front of the veil. "Who are you?"_

 _"I am the Cailleach, the gatekeeper to the spirit world. You have torn the veil between the worlds." Morgana looks at the black emptiness behind the Cailleach and finally seems to realize what it was. Eerie voices scream from within. "The Dorocha. They are the voices of the dead, my child. Like the dead, they are numberless." Morgana seems frightened of what she had unleashed on the world. "You're right to be afraid, Morgana. Your enemies will rue this day and all the destruction it brings, but you must beware... Tearing the veil between the worlds has created a new world, and you will not walk through it alone. The one they call Emrys will walk in your shadow. He is your destiny... and he is your doom." Morgana's fear is clear for all to see._

"Her doom? _Merlin_ is her doom?" Arthur's voice is incredulous and Gwen cannot blame him. Their friend hardly came across as someone who could hurt a fly, never mind a sorceress as powerful as Morgana.

 _Gaius is lying on a rock altar of some sort, a man standing beside him. It is clear that Gaius had endured much and is about to give up the fight. "Tell me about Emrys." The man commands. "Tell me, Gaius, where can we find Emrys?" Gaius tries to fight against the pain he has endured but eventually answers. "In Camelot." The man waits a moment but then asks when Gaius provides nothing further. "Where in Camelot?"_

 _"Emrys is... Emrys is a name by which he is known to the druids, but to me, I know him by a different name."_

 _"Tell me, Gaius." Gaius fights against the pain in his mind and the voice asking all these questions. "No!" He gasps out. The man is patient enough not to stap at Gaius but he places a hand on Gaius's shoulder and one on his head. "Who is he?" He asks again. Gaius fights against the name that wants to leave his lips. "He... He is the most powerful sorcerer who has ever lived."_

 _"What is his name?" Gaius tries to fight but he can't anymore. "His name... is... Merlin." The pain on his face is not only that of the physical torture he had to endure but emotional as he had just betrayed his ward's trust._

 _There is a brief scene where Merlin and Gwaine are shown to be in some tunnels, clearly searching for something or someone._ Arthur can only think that they were already in the same place Gaius had been held captive, seeing as they were the ones to rescue him all those years ago.

 _"For the druid legends are true. Merlin is Emrys. A man destined for greatness." Gaius tells, now that the secret is out, there is no need to hold back anymore. The man standing at his feet listens enraptured. "A man who will one day unite the powers of the old world and the new. I pray the time that the poets speak of, a time of Albion." Gaius closes his eyes, having said everything that needed to be said._

Arthur closes his eyes, the pain on Gaius's face strikes at his heart. Guinevere wraps her arms around him, both of them shaken by what they had witnessed.

 _Merlin is standing in a cave_ (Arthur is beginning to think that they spend way too much time in dark, dank, caves), _he listens carefully to the sound of feet around the corner before gathering his courage and stepping out from his hiding place. "Oh, hello." He calls loudly and Agravaine immediately follows him. Merlin runs as fast as he can, leading them as far away from Arthur and the others as possible. He miscalculated though and ends up at a dead-end. He knows that he is caught and there is only one way out of this. "Merlin!" Agravaine calls. "Merlin."_

 _What he would have to do to get out of this situation weighs heavily on Merlin's mind. He turns to face Agravaine and his small army. "Where's Arthur?" Agravaine asks. "Be careful." Merlin answers but he knows that no one perceives him as a threat. "What are you talking about?" Agravaine asks, looking around for some kind of enemy or danger that might lurk. "Where's Arthur?" Merlin looks down, not wanting to answer but also not wanting to fight. "Tell me." Agravaine demands, "now! Or I'll have to kill you." Merlin shakes his head sadly, "I don't think so." Agravaine laughs at him, seeing Merlin as a servant and nothing more. He strikes forward with his sword but Merlin's eyes glow and they all fly back through the air. Merlin moves forward, hoping that he could get away now but as he nears Agravaine, the man gasps for breath and stands up, looking at Merlin in shock. "You have magic." He says as he points at Merlin, still unable to believe it._

 _"I was born with it." Merlin answers._

Guinevere gasps and Arthur turns to look at her, he had not known that such a thing was possible, apparently, neither had his wife.

 _Agravaine stumbles a bit and steps forward, realizing what this means. "So it's you. You're Emrys." "That is what the druids call me."_

 _"And you've been at court, all this time. At Arthur's side." Agravaine laughs softly. "How you've managed to deceive him. I am impressed, Merlin. Perhaps we're more alike than you think." Agravaine holds out his hand as if welcoming a friend. Merlin stops him with a quick hand held up, not at all impressed with the man's words. Agravaine backs off a bit but then quick as lightning he pulls his sword and aims it at Merlin. Merlin brings up both hands and his eyes glow, stopping the blade inches from his chest and sending Agravaine flying. This time, there is little doubt that the man would not get up again. Merlin's sorrow is clear on his face but he still has friends to catch up to so he pushes on._

* * *

Arthur lies awake that night, unable to sleep. Merlin had come with their dinner plates and although Arthur had desperately wanted to speak to him, or yell at him, he had kept quiet. Merlin obviously realized that something was wrong for he quickly excused himself and left the king and queen to their own devices.

To accept that Merlin was a dragonlord was hard enough, to accept that he has magic was a whole lot more difficult. To accept that he was considered to be the most powerful sorcerer to ever live, that was inconceivable. The power he displayed in dispatching of Agravaine was frightening, he had not uttered a single word and yet had killed all those men with barely any effort. Having Merlin muck out his stables, clean his room and deliver his meals, as usual, was a difficult concept to contemplate but he did not know what else to do. It was clear that Merlin had no intention of telling him about his magic, no intention of seeking recognition for all he has done. Could he really, truly, continue on with their daily lives as if nothing had happened? As if he had no idea that the man serving him breakfast had the power to kill him with a single thought...

As he tossed and turned, Arthur realized that even with all the thoughts of Merlin's lies and secrets, he never once felt afraid of him. Merlin, he had seen in all the images the stone had shown him, would rather die than bring any harm to Arthur. There were still many things he wanted to know, many instances he remembered that made much more sense now that he knew about the magic but still wanted to know the full truth of.

"Arthur?" Guinevere's voice is sleep roughened. "Sorry, love, my thoughts will not leave me to rest. I will leave you to your sleep." He places a gentle kiss on her forehead and slips out of bed. It is a testament to their many late nights working on the various treaties and trade routes that Guinevere does not join him but rather falls back to sleep.

As Arthur sits and contemplates all they have learned, he thinks about his father and his hypocrisy regarding magic, all the times he had condemned it and the times he had turned to magic to use it for his own gain. He also remembers the scene where Gaius mentioned that Merlin would be better off with Uther dead and can't help but wonder if Merlin had ever considered killing Uther, or for that matter if he had ever actually saved the magic-hating king... The stone glowed in answer to his unasked question.

 _Merlin stands in the cave under the castle, facing the dragon. "Well, young warlock, what is it you've come to ask of me?" "I need your help." "Of course, you do. But this time, will you heed my words?"_

 _Merlin looks uncomfortable for a moment at the reprimand before boldly forging ahead. "The sorcerer, Tauren, he's plotting to kill the king. He's made an ally of Morgana. I don't know what to do." The dragon regards him for a moment, "Do... nothing." "What do you mean?" Merlin asks, "if I do nothing, Uther will die."_

 _"Don't you want Uther dead? It is Uther that persecutes you and your kind, Merlin. It is Uther that murders the innocent." The dragon replies. "But surely that doesn't make it right to kill him." Merlin says fiercely. "Only if Uther dies can magic return to the land. Only if Uther dies, will you be free, Merlin. Uther's reign is at an end. Let Arthur's reign begin. Fulfill your destiny!" The dragon commands as he lifts into the air, the chain keeping him in the cavern under the castle rattling in his flight. "Wait. Where does it say in my destiny... includes murder?"_

 _"Free this land from tyranny, Merlin! Free us all!"_

Another scene starts before Arthur has time to think about the one he had just seen.

 _Merlin is standing at a window, looking down on the courtyard below. Gwen passes by and sees him, turning back and entering the room. "Merlin?" she asks, wondering what he is doing. "Gwen." Merlin acknowledges. "How are you doing?" "I was about to ask you the same question" she replies. "I'm fine," he says in surprise, "fine." They both look down at the courtyard where Morgana is seen riding out on horseback behind Uther, with a few guards escorting them. "Morgana has been amazing these past few days." Gwen confides. "I think you've been amazing" Merlin replies, "you know, after... all that's happened. Getting your life back together."_

 _"It's better than sitting in an empty house, waiting for my father to walk through the door. The thing I find hardest to bear is that people will always think he is guilty because he tried to escape." Merlin steps back from the wall, "I know he was innocent." "I think he tried to escape because he knew, that whatever he said or did, he'd be killed. Uther had already made up his mind." Merlin acknowledges this silently, his thoughts shifting."That's the kind of man he is."_

 _"I wouldn't blame you if you wanted him dead." Merlin says after a moment of silence. Gwen turns to face him, "If Uther died, I would feel nothing. He means nothing to me." Merlin looks surprised at her words. "But if you had, you know, a choice, what would you do?" Merlin asks. Gwen seems puzzled by the question so Merlin elaborates. "If you had the power of life and death over Uther, would you kill him? For what he did?" Gwen regards Merlin for a silent moment before saying a heartfelt, "No." Merlin is once again surprised and asks, "No?" "What would that solve?" Gwen asks, "That would make me a murderer. That would make me as bad as him." Merlin shakes his head as if he realizes something then, "You're right," he turns back to face the window for a moment and continues, "Of course, you're right." before rushing off. "Is anything wrong?" Gwen asks. "I don't know. I'll see you later."_

 _Merlin is rushing through the woods with a staff in his hand (The same walking stick Arthur remembers from the scene with Elena). He comes upon four horses, two guards lying on the ground, presumably dead. He sees the enemy in the distance and sets off after them. He crosses a stream and walks up the hill, pointing his staff at the back of one of the men **Acwele!** The man flies through the air and the other turns to face Merlin, he points his staff again and the second man goes down as well. _

_Merlin makes his way along the stream, searching, the sorcerer Tauren sees him and heads down to face him. He sees the staff in Merlin's hand and recognizes it as a weapon of magic. Taking out the stone, he holds it up as Merlin shouts **Acwele!** The stone reflects the spell back at Merlin and hits him in the chest. Tauren turns around to finish the job they had started, to kill the king. _

Arthur stares at the wall after the image fades. He knows that his father still lived, after that incident and he remembers Morgana saying something about seeing the killer coming up from behind Uther and calling out in warning, Uther had struggled with the man and Morgana had run the man through with a sword. They had made it home safely, thanks to Morgana. Arthur wondered what had made her change her mind, as he now knew that she had been in alliance with Tauren. So many questions answered and so many more appearing in their wake.

 _"How do we get the beetle out before it kills him?" Merlin asks as he and Gaius stand at Uther's bed. "It can only be magic." Gaius says soberly. "We can't use magic on Uther, he'd kill us." "We don't have a choice," Gaius replies. "Gaius!" "There are times when it is necessary, it is your right." Merlin looks at Uther for a moment. "I don't know how."_

 _"If you don't, he's going to die." Merlin considers this for a moment and then approaches Uther's side of the bed. He sits with one leg bent beneath him on the side of the bed and reaches for Uther's head, hands on either side, at the king's ears. His eyes glow for a moment before he closes them and says **Berbay odothay arisan yeldo. Ablinan.** His eyes are closed in concentration and Gaius asks, "What's happening?" Merlin doesn't answer, just keeps his hands where they are and his eyes closed in concentration. At last, he opens his eyes and slowly pulls his hands away, the one hand falling back to his side, the other holding a black beetle that he had pulled from the king's brain. Both Gaius and Merlin look surprised as well as relieved. "Has anyone ever told you," Gaius begins, "you're a genius." Merlin gives a shaky smile, "You certainly haven't." They both laugh and watches as Uther turns his head, slowly waking up from the 'illness' the beetle had caused._

Arthur shakes his head, not quite believing that his servant had risked so much for a king that would have him executed for saving his life - had Uther known that magic had saved him. This at least answered one question that had been running through his mind, his servant really was an idiot, it was not all an act. A noble idiot, but an idiot nevertheless. The stone didn't produce any more images so Arthur turned back to his bed. Merlin would be there soon enough with breakfast and he still had no idea what he should do or how he should act.

Guinevere would never speak a word of what they had seen, he knew, not without first discussing it with him but Arthur was unsure what to do about the whole situation. It was unfair of him to expect her to keep such a thing from Merlin, they were friends first, queen and servant came second. It was unfair of him to request that she does not confront her friend about all the years he had lied to her, hid such a big part of himself from her. It was only as he shifted his head on his pillow that he realized he had tears running down his cheek and that the last few thoughts, although directed at the friendship between Guinevere and Merlin, applied even more so to himself and Merlin. The betrayal stung.

Should he confront Merlin about his secret? Should he tell him that he knew about the magic? There was no clear path to follow and Arthur sighed as he settled back into bed, hoping he would be able to get a few hours' sleep before Merlin woke him up to face the new day.

 **End chapter 10**

 **AN:** Just a note, there will be no Disir in this fic. Arthur had already accepted that Merlin was a dragonlord and not persecuted him for it and he is now slowly, starting to accept that not all magic is evil. The triple goddess does not have good reason to pass their judgment this time and so the Disir had not been asked to pass the runemark to him. (Plus, I just don't like the Disir...)


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Disclaimer: Scenes from S01E01, S02E01, S01E13, S04E07**

 **Magic**

When morning arrived, Arthur still had no clear path to follow. Merlin arrived with breakfast and although it was difficult, Arthur replied to his usual banter as best possible. He feared he had not done as well as he could have, for Merlin was eyeing him wearily again. "For goodness sake, Merlin, that's the third time you've 'fluffed' the pillows. If you've nothing else to do, I have a whole list of chores waiting for you." The grimace on Merlin's face told him exactly what his servant thought of his usual chore list but he dutifully listened as Arthur listed off all the things that needed to be done. If mucking out the stables had suddenly returned to his chore list (Arthur couldn't remember the last time he had sent Merlin to do it), well then, Merlin would just have to suck it up and do it.

Guinevere gave Merlin her usual friendly morning greeting and Arthur envied her for the ease in which she just accepted everything that happened to or around them. When Merlin finally left, carrying their breakfast dishes, Arthur grabbed Guinevere around the waist and pulled her close.

"I'm sorry, my love. Just give me a few more days to work through it all, I won't ask you to keep the fact that we know his secret from him forever." She turned in his embrace and pulled his face down for a soft kiss. "It's fine Arthur. The shock has worn off for me but I think I would also appreciate the time to reflect on everything and sort it all in my mind."

Arthur gave her another kiss before pulling back. "I have to oversee the training of the knights, today is Mordred's turn to go up against me and I would like to see how he has progressed in his training. That should only take us to about noon, after a quick lunch with Leon where we'll discuss the next steps in the training regime, I have the rest of the afternoon free, do you wish to join me for the next set of scenes from the stone?" The pleading tone he had tried to keep from coming across managed to creep through and Guinevere gave him a small smile. "Of course, I'll move my afternoon tea with the ladies of the court to this morning and do my rounds of the lower town after we have finished this afternoon."

* * *

When Arthur pulled Mordred from the ground after their sparring session, he did not consciously ignore Merlin's praise, engaged as he was with Mordred and encouraging him in his progress. It was only later that he realized he had completely ignored Merlin, focused so completely on praising and encouraging Mordred as he was.

There was nothing he could do about it now though, and so as he passed his belt over the changing screen, he kept up his praise of the young knight, wanting to hear Merlin's opinion of Mordred as well. Something in Merlin's tone caught his attention but Arthur put it to the back of his mind, not yet ready to talk to Merlin about anything that might become a debate or lead to a serious discussion. As quickly as he could, hoping that he was not coming across as wanting to avoid Merlin whenever possible, he dismissed his servant and settled down to do some paperwork.

Guinevere arrived just before lunch and two servants followed her in, she had apparently made arrangements with the kitchen for the two of them to dine together. They ate in silence and Arthur thought about what he wanted to ask the stone to show them next. There was one thing he really wanted to know, he just hoped that the stone had an answer for him...

When the servants had cleared their lunch plates away, Arthur took Guinevere's hand and picked up the stone. "Why does magic corrupt some people?"

The stone glowed but it took a very long time before an image appeared, Arthur almost lost hope that he would get an answer. When the scenes had finished playing, he realized that the reason it took so long was that there was no clear answer...

 _Merlin was lying on his stomach on his bed as Gaius entered his room. "Merlin, sit up, take your shirt off." The boy did so, (and Arthur could see he was still a boy, it must have been just after he had arrived in Camelot) and they could see some blisters on his shoulder as he removed his shirt. "You don't know why I was born like this, do you?" He asked Gaius as the physician tended to his wounds. "No." "I'm not a monster, am I?" Merlin asked with a nervous smile, clearly not sure of the answer himself. "Don't ever think that." Gaius said seriously as he stared into Merlin's eyes. "Then why am I like this? Please, I need to know, why?"_

 _"Maybe there's someone with more knowledge than me." Gaius says uncomfortably. "If you can't tell me, no one can." Gaius had no answer to that._

"He thought of himself as a monster." Guinevere's voice is soft and full of emotion, Arthur's throat was tight and so he squeezed her hand, not trusting his own voice at the moment.

 _Merlin came rushing out of the castle, it was night time and as he looked around, he spotted Arthur out cold on the ground and a creature flying through the sky, heading toward the fallen prince. **Astrice!** he commanded and the creature burst into small pieces of stone and dust. Rushing over to Arthur, Merlin quickly checked that he was alive and did not have any serious injuries. A man approached through the mist that had filled the courtyard. "Who would have believed it, you, a sorcerer, and a powerful one." Arthur vaguely recognized him but could not remember exactly who he was._

 _"I won't let you hurt him." Merlin said, still kneeling next to the fallen prince. "And you're going to stop me?" the man asked incredulously._

 _"I'll stop you." Merlin said surely. "He does not deserve your loyalty. He treats you like a slave." "That's not true." Merlin denies. "He cast you aside without a moment's thought." "That doesn't matter." Merlin asserts. "But it must hurt, so much. To be so put upon, so overlooked, when all the while you have such power."_

 _"That's the way it has to be." Merlin says firmly. "Does it? You're young, Merlin, look inside yourself, you have yet to discover your true power. I can help you." The man pauses for a moment, hoping he was getting through to the servant. "Think, Merlin. To have the world appreciate your greatness, to have Arthur know you for what you are." At that moment, Merlin's face reflected his longing for that very thing, just for a moment, before he says "That can never be." "It can. If you join me. Together we can rule over this land. Arthur will tremble at your voice. He will kneel at your feet."_

 _Merlin's eyes harden, his expression closing off. "I don't want that." The man realizes that he had pushed too far, said the wrong thing. "You would rather be a servant?" He asked in disgust. "Better to serve a good man than to rule with an evil one." Merlin replies strongly. "So be it. If you will not join me, I will become you and your power will be harnessed to my will." After he finished speaking, the man started gasping and he fell to the floor. Merlin watched him and as a blue light flowed from the man's mouth he stood where he was, letting it coil up his leg before he started chanting, **Ic thin sawol her beluce, abide thaet ic the alyse.** Merlin fell to his knees before toppling over on his side. Convulsions shook his body and as a bird's cawing sounded through the night, Merlin's eyes turned completely black. _Both Arthur and Gwen jumped in fright at the sudden sound and they watched in concern as their friend's eyes turn black before closing. _Gaius approached the fallen men then, and he hesitantly called "Merlin?" Merlin stood in the mist for a few seconds before heading toward Gaius and as Gaius eyed him apprehensively, a huge smile broke over his face and he held up a blue heart-shaped object._

Arthur released his breath in a loud puff of air. He now recognized the last scene from a previous image the stone had shown them but still did not understand everything regarding that specific situation. One thing was clear though, Merlin had once again saved Camelot from an evil sorcerer.

 _Merlin ran up a few stairs, a woman could be heard shouting an enchantment of some sort and as he came to a halt they could see that it was the same sorceress he had made that deal with to save Arthur's life after the Questing Beast bit him. "Stop!" Merlin commanded and the sorceress turned to him. "Back again so soon, warlock?" She placed the cup of life on the altar as Merlin approached. "What have you done?" he asked. "Your mother is safe, isn't that what you wanted."_ Gwen gasped, remembering that time so very long ago when Hunith had shown up in Camelot with a mysterious illness only to leave a few days later, right as rain. _"Have you killed him?" Merlin asked, voice thick with emotion. "It was his wish." "I bet my life for Arthur's, not my mother's, not Gaius's!" Merlin's anger is clear on his face and in his voice. "The Old Religion does not care who lives and who dies. Only that the balance of the world is restored. To save a life, a life must be taken, Gaius knew this." "It is NOT the Old Religion that has done this, it is you." Merlin says with certainty. "Come now, we're too valuable to each other to be enemies."_

 _"NO! I said nothing with you." "With my help, Arthur will become king." "I will make Arthur king," Merlin replies "but you will never see that day."_ _**Astrice!** The spell shoots straight at the sorceress but she merely lifts a hand as a shield. "Your childish tricks are useless against me, Merlin. I am a priestess of the Old Religion." She moves her hand in small circles and a fireball appears which she directs at Merlin, **Forbearne!** Merlin dives out of the way and the wall behind him explodes. He gets up again and the sorceress readies another fireball "You too are a creature of the Old Religion, you should join me." "You think I would join forces with such a selfish and cruel magic? Never." "So be it," she replies as she throws the fireball at him **Akwele!** This one catches Merlin in the chest and sends him sailing through the air. "Pity," The sorceress says, "together, we could have ruled the world." Merlin gets up as she walks away from him, clearly thinking him no threat anymore. "You should not have killed my friend." He says and as she turns back to face him, he holds up a hand to the sky. Lightning gathers there and the sorceress looks up in surprise. Merlin guides the lightning down with his hand and strikes the sorceress where she stands. He has to shield his eyes from the bright light but as it clears and the rain starts to fall, he rushes over to Gaius. "Gaius! Gaius?" he rubs the old man on the chest but nothing happens and with a heartrending "No." he throws his head back and screams to the skies. It's only after a few sobs that he hears a soft "Merlin?" and realizes that Gaius is in fact alive. "Gaius? Gaius, you're alive!" "What did you do?" Gaius asked. "Nimue's dead. The balance of the world has been restored." Merlin says this in surprise, having only then realized what had happened. "You amaze me," Gaius replies, "you've mastered the power of life and death itself. We'll make a great warlock of you yet." "So you believe in me now?" Merlin asks. "Well, I would, if... if you could stop this blasted rain." Merlin and Gaius laugh then, relief clear in their voices._

Arthur frowns in thought. He remembered what Gaius had said to the torturer, Merlin would unite the Old World and the New. He wondered what it meant... if there were different types of magic? Merlin referred here to the sorceress' selfish and cruel magic, did he mean the type of magic or did it refer to her as a person? He didn't know and now even more questions were forming in his mind.

 _Merlin is on the floor of a cave, a knife hovering in front of his chest with Morgana standing before him. "If you have harmed him..." Merlin says in anger. "Why are we discussing his fate when it's time to decide yours." Morgana replies in a playful voice, "Not whether you're going to die alone here in this godforsaken place, that's gonna happen anyway, but how, or more precisely, how painfully." Merlin's eyes flicker to the man coming up behind Morgana (Arthur and Gwen recognize him as the man who had tortured Gaius in those images they had seen). "Alator," Morgana greets, then turns to Merlin, "this is Merlin." Alator's face registers recognition at the name. "He's just a serving boy but he's the most troublesome serving boy I've ever known." The man stares at Merlin, his gaze not wavering from the servant. "I take it your time with Gaius was fruitful?" Morgana asks and Alator finally turns his gaze away from Merlin. "Gaius told me everything."_

 _"So you know who Emrys is?" Morgana asks plaintively. "Indeed I do." Alator replies, watching Morgana carefully before turning away from her and approaching Merlin. Morgana clearly wants an answer but knows not to demand one from this man. "Not only do I know who Emrys is, I know exactly where he is." Alator says this as he looks straight into Merlin's eyes. "Then tell me." Morgana commands. Alator looks back at her, "Never" he says and lifts his staff, **Forp fleoge!** The spell hits Morgana and she sails through the air and hits a pillar, crumbling to the ground unconscious. Her knife, that had been hovering in front of Merlin, falls to the ground._

 _Merlin jumps to his feet as Alator takes a step closer. "Merlin, I am Alator of the Catha. I am honored to be of service." "You have magic." Merlin says, not sure what else to say to this man who had just confessed to extracting his deepest secret from Gaius, but yet had betrayed the one who had ordered him to do so. "I understand the burden you carry. I have lived with it all my life. I have been shunned, persecuted and sometimes even hunted in every corner of the five kingdoms." Merlin regards the man with tears forming in his eyes. "I understand what that feels like. You're not alone. From what Gaius told me, I do not have your great powers, Merlin, but I share your hopes. For I and others like me have dreamt of the world you seek to build, and we would gladly give our lives to help you do it." After that heartfelt promise, Alator bent on one knee in front of Merlin who could only stare in surprise. The weight of his destiny heavy on his shoulders, the hopes of other magic users adding to the pressure he already felt._

No other scenes formed so Arthur put the stone in the drawer, his thoughts on the last scene they had witnessed. There were times that Arthur thought back to the days he was a prince, where the weight on his shoulders was no heavier than what he could carry. Where he could turn to his father for advice or even some of the other Lords or knights. To see now that Merlin had a similar burden, the weight of expectation from those like him who wanted only to live in peace and expected him to lead them on the right path, it was a sobering realization. It also explained those odd instances of wisdom that Merlin sometimes had, as well as the days where you could barely get a smile from the servant.

Servants only had to worry about doing their master's bidding and making sure that their duties were done in a timely manner. Merlin had never been a normal servant, though. There had always been something about Merlin that stood out, something that pulled Arthur in and made him listen where usually he would not even spare a thought to a servant. Well, he thought he had gotten better at that but just that morning he had subconsciously ignored Merlin when he had called out his praise for his master.

"What are you thinking, Arthur?" Guinevere asked and pulled him from his thoughts. He took her hand and gave it a kiss. "I think there are still many things we don't know about Merlin and his destiny, or our shared destiny. The stone gave no clear answer to my question, which makes me think that there isn't one. Could it be that magic itself is not evil? That it is the person themselves that is evil? But how can that be? Morgana was not always evil, I know it. She used to care about the people, give to the poor when they were in need. Had magic corrupted her or was it the fear of being found?" Arthur ran a hand through his hair in frustration. "I still don't know what to do or how to react. Merlin is a good man, he may have lied to us this whole time but it was not done maliciously or even by choice. Had he said anything, he would have been executed in accordance with the law of the land. What kind of example would we set if we pardon a friend but not a stranger?"

It was only as he said it that Arthur realized how true the statement was. He had made Camelot a better kingdom, a better place. To do that, he had always upheld the law. If anyone was caught breaking the law, they had to stand trial, be it for stealing or doing magic. The punishment for stealing a loaf of bread was minor compared to that of stealing a thousand gold coins, it was a fair process in his eyes and in the eyes of the council that wrote the laws. Doing magic, however, no matter the kind, was punishable by death. Had he not fought with his father against the injustice of hanging someone for saving another's life with magic? Had his own father not turned to magic to save Morgana's life (even though he only found that out through the stone). What did that say about the laws he had stood so strongly by all these years?

"I think... I think we should re-write the laws on magic."

 **End chapter 11**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Disclaimer: No memories this time but scenes from S05E06 and S05E07 are used.**

 **Loss and Pain**

Re-writing laws were no easy task. It was both a time-consuming and engaging task. Arthur could not simply repeal the ban on magic, that would cause chaos to reign as it had before the great purge. There was, after all, some truth to the reasons given behind the great purge. Magic at that time had been used for own gain and for petty revenge as well as for protection and healing. Geoffrey of Monmouth had once again been approached but instead of just asking for the records of the laws before the great purge, Arthur and Guinevere convened with him to ask about how things had been handled and which things should have been added or removed from the laws when he now had those days to look back on as a reference for future changes.

The basis of the law was changed, simply possessing magic or being in possession of a magical object would not be a death sentence in itself, rather, the person would stand trial if accused of bringing harm or sorrow to those around them or Camelot as a whole.

Potions and spells that took away a person's will, such as love spells or controlling potions would result in a trial and depending on the crime and the motive behind it, could either result in a fine or a death sentence.

It took the better part of a fortnight to re-write the laws but by the time they were done, Arthur felt that they were truly on their way to a new era. They had still not breathed a word of this to Merlin or to Gaius, knowing that the physician would not have been able to keep it from his ward. When Arthur called for a gathering in the courtyard, inviting everyone in the city to witness his announcement, he could feel Merlin's eyes on him and dared not look at his servant.

Guinevere took her place beside him and Arthur gave her hand a squeeze.

"My fellow citizens. I have called you here today to inform you of a change in the laws. A few weeks back, while riding out on a hunting trip, I encountered something which disturbed me greatly. A woman's screams were heard echoing through the forest and as we went to investigate, we found that the village's people had accused an old lady of bringing sickness and suffering to them through sorcery. When asked if she had received a fair trial, the village elder prevaricated and brought up the fact that my father would not have shown mercy. I love my father and he was a great king, but I am not him and I do not rule Camelot the same way he had." There were a few smiles and nods from the people in the courtyard but Arthur caught Merlin's shocked expression from the corner of his eyes. He was fairly certain that his servant had already worked out where he was going with this.

"Magic had reigned free before the great purge and chaos had reigned with it. I might not have grown up with magic around me and have certainly fought against people who have used it against me and against Camelot but I have also seen it used for good." There were mutterings through the crowd and a few of the Lords standing on the parapets certainly looked like they wanted to say something but Arthur held up a hand for quiet.

"New laws have been drawn up and will be available for view in the library. Anyone found in possession of magical objects will not automatically receive a death sentence. If they are found to have caused harm to anyone or to Camelot as a whole, they will be punished, if they are found to have used the object to protect or to heal, they will be pardoned. Anyone found to possess magic, will be held to the same laws, any danger or harm brought to Camelot will be punishable by death but if used for protection or healing, they will be pardoned." The crowd had grown silent during his speech and as no objections were forthcoming, Arthur turned to Leon. "Select a few knights and have them take copies of the new laws to all villages in the kingdom. Anyone found breaking these new laws will be harshly dealt with, be it that they use magic for evil or a village elder ignoring the new laws and killing someone for simply possessing magic, they will all be dealt with." Leon gave a nod and a bow before leaving. "Oh, Leon, send Mordred as well, he might have a better idea of where to find the druids."

Arthur finally stepped back into the castle and as Merlin fell in step beside him and Guinevere, Arthur chanced a look at his face. There were so many emotions evident in his eyes but his face remained blank. There was wonder, hope, confusion, hope again and pride, pride for Arthur and the king that Merlin so gladly served.

"You can bring dinner for the two of us to our chambers, Merlin." Arthur said as they reached the stairway leading to their floor, knowing that his servant needed some time to process the shock he had been dealt this afternoon.

* * *

Merlin left Arthur and Gwen at the stairwell but instead of heading to the kitchens, he made his way to his rooms in Gaius's chambers. The past few weeks had been strange. Arthur and Gwen had been secretive but they had still greeted him as normal and Arthur had even bantered with him most mornings as they always had. Never would he have thought that the secrecy had to do with re-writing the laws on magic!

Was it truly that incident with the old lady that had sparked these changes in the law or was it the stone? Had they found out about his magic? No, Arthur would have confronted him about it, wouldn't he? On the other hand, if Gwen had been with him when he found out, she might just have been able to stop him from doing anything rash, but would she have kept it from Merlin? Would Gwen have kept him in the dark about them knowing his secret? He was so confused!

Gaius was no help whatsoever. "Do not worry about the why's and the how's, Merlin! You should rejoice!" Yes, he should rejoice, and he _was_ happy, he was, he just also really wanted to know what had prompted king prat to change the laws! Was that too much to ask?

That evening, as he placed the king's dinner in front of him, Merlin couldn't help but keep shooting glances at the man. After about three bites, Arthur put down his fork and turned to face him. "What is it, Merlin? Your face has been jumping from one expression to the next for the past few minutes and it is distracting me from my dinner."

"Er.. what? N.. Nothing, nothing. I'll just, err... go. Yes, good night Sire, Your Highness." Merlin bowed to them both, if a bit shakily, and left. He didn't even realize that he had excused himself from serving them before either monarch could agree _or_ object.

Merlin honestly didn't know what was wrong with him. He had dreamt of the day that magic would be allowed back in Camelot, the day he would be able to protect those he cared for without fearing for his life. Now that that day had come, Merlin didn't know what to do or how to act. He had always thought that he would be the one to tell Arthur about his magic and help the king understand that not all magic is evil. He had always thought that he would be instrumental in the changes that would result from Arthur finding out about his magic (something which the king probably still did not know about). Now that those changes were being implemented, Merlin felt a bit wrongfooted. He had not been involved in these changes, he had not even known about them until the announcement earlier that day. He was just so completely confused about the whole affair. He needed sleep, yes, he would sleep and all this would be clearer in the morrow.

* * *

Leon reported the next morning that ten knights had been sent out with copies of the new laws. Two to the Northern villages, two to the Eastern ones, two to the Western ones and two to the Southern villages while Mordred and Sir Kay had gone to find a druid settlement the young knight had visited once. After delivering his report, Leon escorted Gwen to her brother where he stood ready with her horse and the rest of their party, ready for their trip to visit their father's grave.

When the snakes came out from the grass, Gwen felt her heart lift into her throat but at the prompting from Elyan, she took off, hoping that she could reach shelter or Camelot and send some help back to the fallen knights. Riding into a clearing to find Morgana there put a whole different kind of fear in her heart and for once, she dearly wished that Merlin had accompanied her and not stayed at Arthur's back where he always stood. There had been no reason to ask him to accompany her that morning though, not with all the knights as guards and no one except her and Arthur knowing the truth about his magic. Her last thought before she was pulled from her horse was that she would make sure to keep this secret from Morgana, no matter the cost.

* * *

The news that Guinevere had fled from the snakes at Elyan's prompting but not made it to the castle, put fear and dread in Arthur's heart. Merlin followed him from the physician's chambers but Arthur did not stop. "We ride at dawn." He said and made his way to his and Gwen's chambers.

It was a while later that Merlin showed up, once again entering without permission. "Learn to knock, will you?" Arthur was not in the mood to deal with Merlin at the moment. "Sorry, Sire." Merlin said before continuing, "I wanted you to know that Leon and Percival are safe, they are well on the road to recovery." Arthur nodded, feeling guilty that he had not spared them more than a passing thought after hearing that his wife was missing. "That's good news."

"Arthur," Merlin begins hesitantly, "there is evidence of sorcery. Gaius suspects Morgana is involved." This is a blow to both of them, having something like this happen the day after the new laws had been announced.

"You can go, Merlin," Arthur says and Merlin reluctantly turns away, "I lost Guinevere once before." Merlin turns back to face him. "You're not going to lose her." Arthur looks up at the tone, knowing that Merlin's certainty in the matter was not because of idle boasting or just a deep-seated hope that they would find her. "You're not. We will find her, I swear." Merlin promises and holds out his hand to seal the oath. Arthur clasps Merlin's arm and can't help but believe that Merlin will pull through for him once again, he will face whatever came head-on and fulfill his promise. "We'll bring her home."

* * *

They followed the tracks through the woods, Percival in the lead as their best tracker. When he announced that it was too dark, Arthur fought to forge on. Merlin's insistence that they had lost the trail irritated Arthur for he knew it was the truth. He desperately wanted to ask Merlin to just use his magic to find Gwen but he didn't. He didn't know if such a thing was possible and he also knew that now was not the time to confront Merlin about his magic. They all needed to rest or they would be useless when they found Gwen and so Arthur reluctantly followed Merlin back to the knights and they set up camp.

When Leon and Percival woke up gasping and explained their dreams, both having had the same dream, Arthur knew it was Morgana's doing. Merlin confirmed it when he asked him and even though they knew it was a trap, they both knew they would still go, for it was Guinevere.

When morning came, Arthur knew what he had to do, he also knew that Merlin would not obey. "I've decided to journey to the Dark Tower. It's my belief that Guinevere's been imprisoned there. I don't know what horrors will be waiting, so I'll travel alone." Even though Arthur knew Merlin would object, the first to do so was in fact, Elyan. "No". "I'm sorry, I've made my decision." "You can't stop me Arthur, she's my sister." Elyan says firmly. "Nor me, Arthur," Percival denies, "she's our queen." "And our friend," Leon asserts as he also stands. "She's a maiden in a tower, damsel in distress, I was born for this moment." was Gwaine's input and Arthur was hard pressed to suppress a smile. Merlin looked at him from where he was fiddling with his bedroll. "You can turn back, Merlin." Arthur said as it was a part of their ritual and to do otherwise would just feel wrong. "I made you a promise, remember," was Merlin's answer and Arthur looked at all his knights, all his friends, and once again felt thankful for these men in his life.

When they reached the impenetrable forest, Arthur for the first time realized exactly why it had that name. It was vines and branches twined around one another so tightly and thick that it truly was impenetrable. They had to hack through it with their swords to make any headway. When they reached a highrise in the forest and the Dark Tower was visible, Arthur felt hope burn in his chest, they were on the right path and would hopefully reach the tower by sundown.

* * *

Gwen didn't know where she was or what was going on but after the image of Elyan laughing so cruelly at her, when Merlin suddenly appeared before her, she did not immediately ask him to help her get out of there, not quite trusting all that she was seeing. Morgana chose that moment to open the door and Gwen realized that Merlin had not truly been there. She resolved herself not to ask anything of Merlin or anyone else she saw there, if Morgana heard her, she might use it against her or against her friends.

* * *

When Arthur came upon the piece of cloth that had been ripped from Gwaine the day before, he felt despondent and helpless. They had been going in a circle. Everyone was tired and weary but as Merlin reminded him of the promise he had made, Arthur felt that all was not yet lost.

The following morning, Merlin followed behind them but Arthur could sense that something had changed, his servant was more alert. When Merlin suddenly, unexpectantly took charge and assured them all that he could lead them through the forest, Arthur felt hope rise in him. Merlin's excuse of a 'sense of smell' might have caused him to scoff and call Merlin an idiot in the past but since he knew the truth, Arthur let him take the lead. He knew his trust was well placed when they found Percival's broken sword and again saw the Dark Tower in the distance.

No one said anything when they reached the end of the impenetrable forest but Arthur gave Merlin a pat on the back in thanks before taking lead again. When Merlin slipped and fell down the side of the hill, Arthur felt a moment of fear but his servant managed to stop himself from being impaled by a sword and quickly scampered up the hill again.

When they reached the tower, Elyan charged past them when a skeleton suddenly blocked Arthur's way. The room they entered then were filled with flagstones that, when triggered, caused the gargoyles on the side to shoot arrows at them. Elyan was already almost halfway through and when Merlin said he would go first, Arthur thought it best to let him. Arthur tried to stop Elyan from pushing ahead, but his guilt at having lost Gwen in the first place caused him to disobey his king and forge ahead.

The sight of his wife on the floor, sobbing over Elyan's body would haunt Arthur for a long time.

* * *

Arthur could not help but feel frustrated as he fought off the two bandits. Merlin had accompanied him and Guinevere on their picnic to celebrate their anniversary and when the sword in one of the bandit's hands suddenly flew out of it, he knew who was responsible. When word came back that Tyr Seward was responsible for his tampered saddle, Arthur could hardly believe it. The man had been in his service since he was a young boy and had never seemed unhappy with his task, taking great pride in serving his king. Sentencing him to death was painful but as he told Merlin, the law was the law and he had to uphold it.

* * *

After speaking to Tyr, hearing that he had seen someone tampering with the saddle, Merlin went straight to Arthur, knowing that the king needed to know about this. When Gwen stopped Arthur from speaking to Tyr, Merlin felt the first stirrings of unease and rather than talking it through with Gaius, as he usually would have, Merlin, decided to do something about it. Sitting in an alcove outside the royal chambers, Merlin kept watch. It was late at night when Gwen slipped from the rooms and made her way down to the dungeons. Merlin watched as she burned some herbs that caused the guards to fall asleep and as she approached Tyr's cell, he knew his fears were founded in truth. Whatever Morgana had done to Gwen, she was not the gentle and kind queen they knew. Merlin also knew that they would do everything in their power to get their Gwen back, to free her from Morgana's control and when they did so, Gwen would never be able to forgive herself if she had been responsible for someone's death.

When Gwen beckoned Tyr closer, Merlin felt unease grow within him. He knew he was right when she took a blade from the folds of her robe and only with a swift thought and glowing eyes was Merlin able to change the trajectory of the blade. Tyr fell to the ground but as Gwen left, Merlin hurried over to the sell, opened it and bent over Tyr, **Welcenoul** he cast and watched as Tyr's breathing evened out. He would be unconscious for a few days as Merlin had made sure not to heal him completely but it would be long enough that he would hopefully find a way to get Gwen and them all out of this mess.

* * *

Arthur woke up the next morning to the sound of the warning bells. Guinevere quickly sat up beside him and as Leon came to report of the attack against Tyr Seward they both quickly dressed and made their way to Gaius's quarters.

Merlin was there, standing beside his mentor and Arthur breathed a sigh of relief when the physician told him the young man would live. It might take a few days before he regained consciousness, but for now, he was fine.

Guinevere was reluctant to leave, feeling responsible for the young man but Arthur convinced her to return to their chambers and get ready for the day.

When Gwaine told them what happened in the forest, Arthur felt only sadness at what his sister had become. Merlin's suggestion that she might have been meeting someone caused unease to well up inside him for it meant another traitor in their midsts. He suggested that Gaius and Merlin have a look through the woods, knowing that the two of them would be able to see things that others might not, things requiring magic to detect.

* * *

Arthur was sitting at his desk, thinking things through and coming to the same conclusion that Merlin had. "Arthur, are you alright?" Guinevere asked and Arthur started a bit, so deep in thought, he was. "What if Merlin's right? What if Morgana attacked the patrol?" "Morgana?" Guinevere asked. "She wants me dead. What better way of achieving that than conspiring with an ally within Camelot. An ally who she could not risk meeting within these walls." The more he thought about it, the more sense it made to Arthur. "Who?" Guinevere asked. "Whoever attacked Tyr."

"But that doesn't make sense," Guinevere replies, "if you're the target, why attack Tyr?" "To protect their identity. They aimed to kill him but miscalculated and the wound was not fatal."

"Perhaps," Guinevere allowed but Arthur continued "Tyr's attacker had an intimate knowledge of the palace. Whoever they were, they must be known to me, and, they must be here as we speak."

"If what you say is true, they must be found, quickly." "And if they're not, they'll strike again," Arthur concludes. "I will not let that happen." Guinevere says as she takes his hand, "I will lay down my life to protect you." Arthur smiled at his wife, she always knew what to say. "You'll find them, Arthur. You and I, together."

* * *

When Arthur found Merlin rummaging through Guinevere's closet, he wondered what his servant was up to this time and what kind of excuse he would give. He was hard pressed not to laugh at Merlin's excuse, especially when he then threaded an arm through one of the sleeves to demonstrate a 'hole'. Whatever it was the secret warlock was up to, Arthur just hoped that it would not involve woman's clothing, as there were some things he really did not need to know about his servant...

He made arrangements for their dinner to be brought up, seeing as Merlin would be busy with his laundry. Guinevere came in just as the kitchen servant finished setting everything down.

* * *

Guinevere kept up her act and even asked Gaius if there was a way for magic to save Arthur but the old man sadly shook his head, declaring that the poison was too virulent for most sorcerers and those who might have the power, were still too scared to come forward. He told her that as long as Arthur drew breath, there was still hope but Guinevere knew it was a false hope, her Lady had found a poison strong enough to thwart even magic.

* * *

When Arthur woke up, he felt like his head could explode. He sensed someone near him and smelled herbs so it must have been Gaius. He didn't even realize he had said the physician's name out loud but he heard a soft "Merlin" and relieved laughter, followed by Gaius's "Well done, Merlin, well done. Merlin's relieved laugh tapered off and Gaius said "You better get back to the sells before you're missed." and Arthur was sure he must have heard wrong but his head was killing him and blackness loomed, pulling him into unconsciousness again.

The next time he woke up, his headache had subsided a bit to a bearable level and he found Guinevere next to his bed, crying softly. Leon, Gaius, and Guinevere were the only ones in the room and as they explained what had happened, Arthur's incredulity rose with each word uttered. Not only would Merlin die before he harmed Arthur but he had not even been close by during the poisoning, nor had he had access to his food, the kitchen servant had served them that night.

A knock on his door distracted him and he smiled as Merlin entered. "Merlin, this is one of the two, possibly three moments in my life where I've actually been glad to see you." He also knew, after some thought on the matter, that Merlin had most probably again been the one to save him but he did not mention that. "That's my thoughts exactly," Merlin said with a soft laugh, "How are you feeling?"

"Like death. Well, death warmed up, at least." Arthur could see Merlin's relief. "I can imagine." "Well, it seems like we've both been through something of an ordeal." Arthur gestured to the chair next to the table, indicating for Merlin to join him. Merlin's idea of a joke fell a bit flat and knowing that his servant had once again risked himself to save Arthur, he stopped him before he could get carried away. He felt a bit bad for what he had told the knights, about Merlin not being bright enough to organize an assassination attempt but he knew that it was an extra layer of protection for his servant. The more people underestimated him, the better he could protect them all. When Merlin then mentioned that he had something to talk to him about, Arthur felt that he should hear him out as it seemed important but the council was waiting and the matter was pressing. He would ask Merlin about it later...

 **End chapter 12**

 **Welcenoul** is the spell Taliesin cast on Arthur in S03E05 to heal his arrow wound.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Disclaimer: Scenes from S03E10, S04E03. Takes place during S05E08 and S05E09**

 **Noxvae:** Nope, not a writing marathon, just found my muse and decided to exercise it, rather than having it decide to run off because it was bored...

 **Selfless idiot**

When Arthur read through the reports of all that had happened on the night of his poisoning, he felt as if he had been punched in the face. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. Guinevere was out at the moment and Arthur felt bad for not waiting for her but he needed answers and he needed them now.

"Who is the old sorcerer, the one calling himself..." oh what was his name? "err.. Dragoon, yes dragoon."

The stone glowed and Arthur held his breath, not sure what he wanted the answer to be...

 _Morgana entered Arthur's empty chambers and looked furtively around to be sure that no one saw her. Pulling the pillows away from the top of the bed, Morgana placed a poultice under the pillow Arthur always sleeps on before replacing all the extra pillows the way she had found them..._

 _Gaius and Merlin were standing in the physician's chambers, Gaius deep in thought and Merlin behind him. "If we can't expose the true sorcerer, then we must invent one." Merlin said with a sly smile. Gaius walked closer to Merlin, not quite understanding what he meant. "What, what if, a sorcerer was caught, planting an identical poultice in Arthur's chambers. Uther would have no choice but to release Gwen." Merlin hurried up the stairs to his room, his excitement building. "And do you know of a sorcerer who is stupid enough to get caught doing such a thing?" Gaius asked with crossed arms. Merlin gave him a huge smile and simply said, "Me."_

 _Merlin sat on his bed and bent down to retrieve his magic book. "If I disguise myself, it won't matter if I'm caught, I can use magic to escape and then just change back into myself." Gaius said nothing but his expression was not encouraging. "They'll think that the sorcerer has just, vanished, into thin air." Gaius stepped closer to caution, "Well, no matter how you disguise yourself, I fear Arthur will recognize you." Merlin didn't seem concerned, "Not if I'm eighty years old." Gaius's concern grew, "An aging spell? Merlin, aging spells are notoriously difficult and unpredictable. If the spell doesn't hold, you'll be exposed." "If I don't do something, Gwen's going to die and I am not going to let that happen." Gaius had no reply to that but was still hesitant. "Can you make a poultice, identical to the one found in Arthur's chambers?" "Well, I believe so." Merlin considered the matter closed then, turning back to his book and working on his aging spell._

When Merlin emerged from his rooms, Arthur could hardly believe that it was his servant, the old man was a good disguise, a brilliant one in fact and he felt once again humbled by all that his servant and friend had done for him and for Guinevere. There was still the question regarding his father's death but Arthur hoped that he would get his answers from the stone. _  
_

 _Agravaine entered Morgana's hut, "Arthur has gone to consort with a sorcerer. He intends to use magic to heal Uther." Morgana turned from Agravaine with a thoughtful look. "Then we must see to it that he fails." She lowered a pendant into the fire she had set, enchanting something over it before pulling it from the burning logs with a pair of tongs. She held it out for Agravaine to take, who hesitantly held his hand out, not wanting to burn himself but not having a choice in the matter. "It's cold." He said in surprise. "I've bound it to the left-hand path." Morgana said in explanation but from Agravaine's frown, it was clear he did not understand._

 _"You must place the charm around Uther's neck." "What will it do to him?" Agravaine asked. "The force of any healing magic would be reversed and magnified ten-fold." Morgana explained and Agravaine stopped fiddling with the charm, realizing what this would mean. "By trying to cure his father, Arthur will seal his fate." Agravaine looked down at the charm again, "Arthur would never forgive himself. He'll be destroyed." Morgana looked smug, "And a broken prince will make a terrible king."_

The scene ended there but Arthur did not need to see anything else. Dropping his head into his hands, Arthur once again grieved for his father but more than that, he grieved for his sister's lost soul. Merlin had been willing to save Uther, save the king that would have had him hanged for the magic he was willingly offering as salvation. He remembered now the look of shock on the old sorcerer's face as the healing spell took a turn and instead of saving the king, it hastened his death. It was something he had subconsciously pushed aside but he remembered it now clearly.

That selfless idiot had risked so much for so little reward. Just a few days ago he had once again risked exposure to save his king, Arthur this time, but not only that, he had done so after being thrown in the dungeons by one of his best friends. Arthur had seen the looks that Merlin had been shooting at Guinevere lately and although he could understand the hurt she had caused, he would have to put a stop to it soon or Merlin would find himself in a world of trouble.

He did not understand how Guinevere could have thought Merlin responsible for his poisoning, especially after all they had seen from the stone. It was something that greatly puzzled Arthur but he just didn't have the time to think it through properly. Tyr, having been under armed guard in the physician's chambers since he was attacked, had obviously not been responsible for Arthur's poisoning and after hearing from Merlin what the young man had seen and heard, he was inclined to believe the man entirely innocent in the whole debacle. Proof, however, would be needed to convince the court into letting him go.

* * *

When a young man named Daegal sought him out, Merlin thought that either news of the change in the law had not yet reached the druids, or they were hesitant to believe it. Whatever the reason, Merlin was not surprised that the young man was too scared to go to the king with his request. After some thought, Merlin decided to help the boy out and made arrangements to meet him at the entrance to the Darkling Woods at first light.

He went to Arthur then, knowing that he could not leave without a word, not with the Sarrum arriving the next day. Gwen was with Arthur when Merlin arrived and her expression hardened when she heard him speak about the boy and asking Arthur permission to leave in the morning. There was no time to think on it, however, and so Merlin just gave a quick "Thank you." when Arthur granted his leave. The king wanted to send two knights with him, as guards, but Merlin reminded him that he needed all his knights there when the Sarrum arrived. Morning came all too soon and Merlin once again had to fight to leave, this time it was Gaius who didn't want him to go.

There was something not right about this whole trip, something not quite right about the boy, Daegal. Merlin just could not put his finger on it. When the boy did not hear his mental shout of warning, he knew he was right, Daegal was no druid. When they reached the trees that the boy's sister was said to be at, Merlin found no one but as he confronted the boy, he felt Morgana's presence behind him. It was too late, however, and the next thing he knew was agony.

* * *

Arthur had to tread carefully with the Sarrum. The man's hatred of magic equaled that of his father's and with Arthur's new laws, the Sarrum could easily turn on him and his kingdom. No one had breathed a word to the Sarrum of the new laws regarding magic, no one dared, but Arthur knew that it was part of the peace treaty and would have to be discussed soon, he just wanted to get through the meal without too much hassle.

* * *

Everything hurt. From the hair on his head to the nails on his fingers, not a single part of Merlin's body did not hurt. His leg was damaged, he knew, he just could not see to what extent. His magic was not responding, not the way he wanted it to. Whichever poison Morgana had given him, it had weakened him to such an extent that even his magic was affected. He was sure that, had he not been Emrys, he would have died already.

When Daegal showed up the next day, Merlin was not sure if he could trust him or not but he had little choice if he wanted to ever get out of there. The tincture Daegal gave him should work, Merlin knew, but he also knew that to get rid of the poison, he would most likely convulse and may even throw up, so he kept the boy's hand on his chest until the convulsions started and hoped that the boy would keep him still enough that he did not unconsciously bring even more harm to his body. It was already night time when Merlin woke up again, feeling much better than he had that morning. Of course, when he talked to Daegal and learned that there was to be another assassination attempt on Arthur, Merlin felt no surprise, only frustration at Morgana's unrelenting pursuit of the throne of Camelot.

When he fell down the hill and the bandits surrounded them, Merlin knew he would have to use magic to get them out of there. The fear of using magic had been greatly reduced since the new laws had been passed but a lifetime of hiding made it difficult for Merlin to use his magic so openly. They made their way through the forest as fast as Merlin's injured leg could. "You have magic, Merlin." "Yes." Merlin agreed. "And you live in Camelot." Daegal said in surprise. "Does anyone know?" "Only Gaius." "Not Arthur?" Daegal questioned. "Not yet, I don't think." "What do you mean?" "I mean exactly what I say. I don't know if Arthur knows about my magic, he changed the laws so I have no fear of using it anymore but I've lived in Camelot for almost ten years, ten years of which I have been Arthur's servant. It does not matter if the laws on magic have changed for it is not the magic that he would have a problem with but the lies and deceit."

* * *

"Merlin has not returned, his bed has not been slept in." Gaius said as he followed Arthur into the royal chambers.

"The druid boy, he said his sister was in the Valley of the Fallen kings?" Arthur questioned and Gaius confirmed. "I fear he is in danger, Sire, he should have been back by now. Perhaps a search party could be sent?"

Guinevere came out from behind the dressing screen. "Perhaps you could send Mordred? He has returned, has he not?" She hoped that by sending out the youngest of the knights, one who did not have a good relationship with Merlin, he might miss the body of the king's servant and return empty-handed or at least take long enough that should word come back of Merlin's untimely demise, Arthur would have already been killed.

Arthur agreed to have Mordred sent out, along with two other knights. There was nothing Gwen could say to that and so they continued on with their morning preparations.

* * *

Merlin and Daegal made their way through the palace, Arthur was not in his chambers and Merlin cursed silently to himself. If everything had gone according to plan, then they would be signing the treaty that morning. When they reached a section in the castle that led up to the balcony overlooking the throne room, Merlin found the door open and knew whoever Morgana had sent to kill Arthur would be up there.

The Sarrum of Amata read the treaty in distaste. If not for the deal he had made with the servant-queen, he would have never agreed with the terms of the treaty. To allow any type of magic in the kingdom went against his beliefs but since the king of Camelot would not live long enough to see the treaty through, the Sarrum decided to swallow his pride and agree to the terms set out.

Merlin and Daegal made it to the top and found one of Amata's men standing at the ready with a crossbow, he heard them and swiveled to aim the arrow at Merlin which he deflected with magic. The man then threw two daggers, one at Daegal and one at Merlin before once again aiming at the king of Camelot. Merlin knew his strength had all but deserted him and so instead of physically attacking the man, he sent the fallen arrow at the assassin. The arrow traveled true and killed the man but not before the arrow that had been notched in his crossbow was fired. Merlin heard the commotion from the throne room and his heart gave a painful twist until he heard Arthur's voice. "Leon!" He knew then that Arthur was safe, hopefully, the arrow had not hit anyone. Slowly getting up, Merlin stood over the would-be assassin before looking down and seeing Arthur, Gaius, and Gwen standing around the Sarrum of Amata who had not been as fortunate as Arthur.

"We did it." He said as he turned back to face Daegal, only to find the boy with a dagger in his chest. "Did I save Arthur?" Merlin concentrated on the wound and with a command of **welcenoul** he pulled the dagger free at the same time that the wound sealed up. "You did." Daegal smiled and then promptly lost consciousness.

Mordred and the two knights returned the next day, scouts having been sent after them to tell them that the kings' servant had returned.

* * *

Merlin did not think he had ever had to do something so painful and difficult before. He spied on Gwen for a week straight, learning her routines and what she did before she went to meet Morgana. He knew that this would be a blow for Arthur, one that might just break the king, but it was something that they had to tell him, something that needed to be dealt with as soon as possible.

With a deep breath and a silent prayer, Merlin entered Arthur's chambers. "My Lord." He began with a bow and Arthur looked up from his paperwork. Whenever Merlin was this differential and formal, it always spelled out trouble or something that he did not want to know.

"Yes, Merlin?"

"Arthur. You know me. You know I am loyal to you above anyone and everything else." Merlin's voice is earnest and Arthur nods, he knew this, knew it better than what Merlin could possibly think. "I need you to follow me tonight, don't ask any questions and promise me that you won't do anything rash. I promise you that there is an explanation for it all." Arthur's expression was not welcoming but Merlin persisted. He knew that he had to get his king to follow him, to see for himself that his queen was not who they thought her to be. It took a while, longer than Merlin felt comfortable with but eventually Arthur agreed.

They waited in the forest, in the place where Gwen had met Morgana the night before when she had instructed her to steal the levy routes. Arthur's sorrow and anger was clear to see but when he pulled his sword, Merlin stopped him, warning him that Morgana was too powerful. "How could she do this?" "She's not the Gwen you love, she's fallen prey to a dark and powerful magic." Merlin replied.

"If I lose her, I lose everything." Arthur said, lost. "We'll find a way to bring her back, Arthur. I promise."

They returned to the palace and Merlin cautioned Arthur, "You can't let on that you know about her, Arthur. Treat her as you always would. If she suspects that you know, she might just throw caution to the wind and attack you outright. We can't let that happen."

It turned out, this was easier said than done, but he managed.

* * *

"There are too many things that could go wrong." Merlin said as he and Gaius entered their chambers. "And summoning the White Goddess? That may be beyond me."

"I think not. Merlin, the only person who ever doubts your powers, is you." Gaius assures but Merlin is not finished yet, "And even if I do manage that, we need to get Gwen to the cauldron in the first place and she's hardly likely to go willingly."

"I've already thought of that." Merlin took the bottle Gaius held, "Tincture of Belladonna?"

"All that studying has paid off." "It's a powerful and dangerous drug, Gaius." Merlin says hesitantly. "More dangerous than a traitor in the heart of Camelot?" Gaius asked.

"Besides, Gwen needs to be conscious when she enters the cauldron, she must do so of her own free will or the spell will not be broken."

"That, I agree, may not be within our powers." "Well, then, the rest is futile," Merlin says as he puts down the bottle. "But there is someone for whom it is possible." Gaius continues. "Arthur?" Merlin asked. "Only he can reach the part of Gwen that remains true." Merlin thought about it and he realized that there was something else he would have to do, something he was scared to death of doing.

"I'll have to tell Arthur the truth." Before Gaius could object or maybe agree, Merlin continued. "Not only will I need all my concentration focused on Gwen while doing the ritual, and not trying to keep up a disguise, but Arthur might not trust anyone else to do this. There is a chance he already knows about my magic, but if not, I need to tell him now, before we reach the cauldron, before any more lies come between us."

* * *

Merlin might have resolved himself to tell Arthur the truth but he kept putting it off and now found himself in the castle's armory with Arthur and Gaius, discussing how they would save the queen.

"This tincture of belladonna, what are its effects?" Arthur asked.

"The patient is rendered into a deep sleep." Gaius explains. "Patient?" "It is generally used for the badly wounded."

"How long does it last?" "A few hours. It has to be administered several times a day to provide a continuous sleep." Gaius continues. "But, for no more than three days," Merlin injects. "It is true, sire, the tincture should not be taken for an extended period." "Or?" Gaius looks reluctant to continue so Merlin answers, "The body will not tolerate it." "Thank you, Merlin." Arthur says after giving his servant a look. Merlin takes a deep breath, "Or we could leave the belladonna completely." Gaius gives him a sharp look while Arthur turns his attention completely to his servant. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, er... that is..." why was this so difficult? "I can spell her to sleep, Arthur, and wake her up when we get there." It was all said as quickly as possible and Merlin breathed out hard when he finished. "So that's possible? You can just make her sleep for the three day's journey there and then wake her up? Why didn't you say so in the first place!" Merlin gaped at his king for a while before recovering. "Well, I was unsure about how you would react. To my magic. To the fact that I have magic." It was Arthur's turn to gape. "That's why you didn't say anything? I've known for weeks already! Why do you think I've changed the laws on magic? I take it you'll be the one to summon this goddess? It will require magic, yes?"

They planned out the rest of the details and when Merlin served the king and queen that night, with Gaius discussing something or another with Arthur, Merlin poured everyone a glass of wine and stood behind Gwen's chair where he gave Arthur a nod before he whispered **swefe nu,** and the king quickly caught his wife before she could fall from the chair. Unfortunately, the only thing Merlin had been able to find was an old wheelbarrow that servants used to cart dirty linen around. Gaius' assurance that they would get through palace security made Arthur realize that he had to have a serious talk with the palace guards, when this was all done, of course.

* * *

"The cauldron is at the Western most peak." Merlin said as he and Arthur gazed at the mountains in front of them. "That will be the highest." Arthur said in resignation and Merlin nods. "Always is, isn't it. We better get started then."

Merlin sensed something then, not close but near enough that he felt uncomfortable. "Wait. We're being watched." "One of your funny feelings again?" Arthur asked but this time, Merlin knew that Arthur trusted him and acknowledged that his 'funny feelings' had to do with what he could sense with his magic. "Let's ride on."

"Tether the horses here, I will be quicker on foot." "What about the supplies?" "You'll manage." "But I can't take it all." "I'll be carrying Guinevere." "She's half the weight of that lot." "Are you a warlock, or not?" Merlin stopped in surprise. It was taking him a long time to accept and get used to the fact that he was free to use magic, now.

Their trip was uneventful, there was one moment where Merlin almost lost his footing because of loose rocks and had he been carrying all their baggage, and not levitating it with his magic, he was sure he would have fallen to his death or at least been hurt quite badly.

When they reached a cave in the mountain, Arthur halted them and decided that they would camp there for the night. It was as Merlin was searching for firewood that he again sensed someone watching them. Using his 'mind's eye', Merlin tracked the feeling to a pair of huge rocks about 300 meters away. What he saw in his mind's eye left him with mixed feelings. Mordred was a good knight and a kind young man, someone Merlin felt could have been a good friend, if not for the fact that he was said to be Arthur's doom. Deciding that he would rather have the druid there with them, where he could keep an eye on him, Merlin called out to Arthur. "I've found the source of my 'funny feelings'. Mordred." Merlin nodded in the direction he had sensed him and Arthur took off, finding the young knight and inviting him to join them.

"What's the meaning of these banners?" Mordred asked as they continued their journey the next morning. "Marks the way for pilgrims, this is a sacred site for those who follow the Old Religion." Merlin answers, "Gaius told me." They walk in silence for a while, "How much further?" Arthur asked. "Not far, this gorge leads to the cauldron." When the white dragon suddenly showed up, Arthur stopped in time before the dragon's fire could scorch him and Guinevere then turned to Merlin. "You deal with her, we'll find shelter." Mordred looked on in surprise as Merlin nodded and the king quickly led the way with the queen in his arms. As Mordred hesitated, not sure if he should follow the king and guard him, or stay with Merlin and help him deal with the creature, Merlin said softly, "I'm a dragonlord, Arthur knows, now follow him and keep him safe!"

Merlin knew that the Dochraid must have warned Morgana that Emrys planned to free Gwen of her enchantment so when Mordred followed after Arthur, Merlin hid behind a rock to wait for Morgana. When she showed up, he did not hesitate, he immediately threw her through the air with a well-placed **Astrice!** She hit the earth hard, knocked out, and Merlin stood over her for a moment, tempted to end her life then and there but he knew he could not. Not only did he not have the heart to do it, but he also did not have the time, Arthur would come looking for him if he took too long and the risk of Morgana waking up before he could free Gwen was too great.

Merlin hurried up the path and joined Arthur and Mordred just as they reached the cauldron.

"Alright?" Arthur asked.

"Aithusa won't bother us again." Merlin replies, "Set her by the pool, Arthur."

"You're sure you know what you're doing?"

"Arthur, I love Gwen like a sister, I will do everything in my power to return her to you, to us."

Arthur nodded, lowering Guinevere onto the ground by the pool. Merlin knelt by her and felt for the magic which Morgana had ensnared Gwen with. "The magic which has ensnared Gwen is strong indeed. It can be fought, I can be broken, but it may also prevail. Do you understand?" "I do." "What we attempt will not be easy, if we fail, Gwen will be lost forever." "I understand." "Very well, when I awake Gwen, she must walk into the cauldron of her own will. Only then will the spell be broken. But Arthur, all the magic that binds her will fight against it." Merlin warned. "How then can we succeed?" "You must reach her, Arthur, reach that part of Gwen which remained untouched by the evil of Morgana." "Is there such a part?" "You must believe there is. Prepare, I will wake her now, you will have but a few moments."

Arthur knelt down next to Guinevere, giving Merlin a nod to show he was ready. When Guinevere woke up, her surprise and confusion lasted only a few moments. "Where am I? What have you done to me?" "You've been asleep for a long time," Guinevere got up, intending to run away, "Guinevere!" "Get away from me." "My Guinevere." "Your Guinevere? You stupid, foolish man, I was never yours and never will be."

"You must reach her, Arthur, reach her or all is lost." Merlin warned.

"You loved me once." Arthur insists, "You're easily fooled, Arthur." "and still do." he continues. "It was a trick, nothing more. A subterfuge to pass Camelot to its rightful queen." "I don't believe that." Arthur said and started dragging her to the water. "Believe what you like, but truth remains." "No, it must be of her own will." Merlin reminds. Arthur looked at him and stopped dragging Gwen, "Look at me, tell me you don't love me." "Let me go!" "Arthur." Merlin cautions again. "You remember when I asked you to marry me, do you remember what you said? You said, With all my heart. That's what you said, Guinevere. There was no subterfuge, no trickery." Gwen stopped fighting against Arthur as the words reached someplace deep within her, a place where love prevailed. "With all my heart." Arthur repeats and he lets go of Guinevere completely, backing into the pool, "With all my heart." Arthur retreats until he is knee deep in the water. Guinevere stands still, that part of her that still belonged to Arthur surfacing and urging her to follow him. "With all my heart." she says softly and when Arthur holds his hand out to her, she takes a small step forward, then another, and another. As Gwen joins Arthur in the water, Merlin starts the spell to free Gwen from Morgana's control. **Yfel gaest ga thu fram thisselichaman. Bith hire mod eft freo. Ar ond heofonutungol sceal thurhswithan!**

A blinding white light surrounded Gwen in the pool and Merlin felt honored to be here in this moment. When Gwen turned around and held her hand out to Arthur, her old smile that reached her eyes on her face, Merlin knew that it had worked.

"We are in your debt, again, Merlin." Arthur said as they made their way from the cauldron. "You know I didn't do it for a reward or for glory, Arthur." The indignation in Merlin's voice caused Arthur to laugh. "No, but there must be something you want." Merlin thought for a while before replying, "Maybe a day off? Or two?"

"Of course." Arthur said at once and Merlin turned to him in surprise, having expected to have to fight for what he wanted. "You can have the day off to rub down the horses, they had a long journey, then you can write my speech for the druid's emissary that is arriving the day after tomorrow, then you can..." Merlin's scowl caused Arthur to laugh and seconds later they were all laughing.

 **End chapter 13**


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Disclaimer: Scenes from S04E06**

 **Guilt**

The way back to Camelot took only two nights but it was two nights spent in relative silence, Merlin oddly quiet the whole time. Arthur left him to his thoughts as he had a few things on his mind to consider. He would need to talk to Tyr as soon as they reached Camelot. The young man would need to be told the truth or he might fear another attack from his queen. Guinevere remembered nothing of what had happened while she had been Morgana's puppet. Arthur did not imagine that she would never know the truth, for all that had happened had been written in reports and she had access to them all. He just hoped he would be there to help her through the guilt and remorse she was sure to feel.

When they reached the palace, Arthur requested that Leon escort Guinevere up to their chambers and arrange with a few servants to have a bath prepared, he knew his wife would want to wash off the filth of the past few days. Guinevere objected to the escort but for Arthur's peace of mind, she acquiesced.

Arthur followed Merlin to the physician's chambers and was glad to see that Tyr was still there, he was on the mend and would be able to leave as soon as Gaius rebandaged his wound, but for now, Arthur was thankful that he did not have to go searching for the man.

The talk with Tyr was as hard as Arthur had imagined it would be but the young man showed only compassion for the circumstances and agreed to keep the truth of it to himself. If anyone asked, he had not seen the person who attacked him's face as they had been wearing a hood, obscured by magical means.

"Merlin." Arthur called as Tyr left, Gaius picking up a few bottles that he needed to distribute to their recipients before nightfall. The old man gave Arthur a bow and closed the door behind him when he left.

"Merlin." Arthur called again, his servant fiddling with various bottles strewn on the table. Arthur had known his servant, his friend, for ten years now and felt that he knew him well. When the laws had first been changed, Merlin had barely reacted, there had been the attack on Guinevere and the knights the very next day, then the rescue mission, Arthur's poisoning, Merlin's own poisoning and race back to save Arthur from the assassin. Then they had set out to save Guinevere from Morgana's spell, it had all just been too much and the young man had not had the opportunity to take anything in.

"Merlin. Look at me." Arthur waited until his friend looked him in the eyes. "I know, Merlin. I know now what you do, what you've done. For me, for Camelot. All that you've done to help me build this world we have both dreamed of. The laws on magic have been changed, not because I want to make things easier for you but because I know it is the right thing to do. I have seen so many things these past few weeks, things the stone have shown us. I doubt that it has shown us even half of what you've done but it was enough to see that the world we live in, the world as it was a few weeks ago, was not a fair and just land as I thought it to be."

"You might not have told me yourself, Merlin, but I have seen what you do and why you do it. There is just one thing I want to say, that I need to say," Arthur placed his hand on Merlin's shoulder, waiting for his friend to look at him again, "Thank you, Merlin."

A sob escaped Merlin's lips as the emotion which had built up over the past few weeks came spilling out. He was free. He was finally free and Arthur knew. Arthur accepted him for who he was, all that he was. When his king, his friend, pulled him into a hug, Merlin's last defenses collapsed and he sobbed as he never had before.

It took an embarrassingly long time for him to pull himself together but Arthur did not tease him for it. "Alright?" Arthur asked and Merlin nodded, a smile spreading across his face, a smile such as Arthur had not seen in years.

"You don't hate me?" Merlin asked softly. Arthur shook his head, "I could never hate you, Merlin, I might have been shocked and incredulous about some of the things we've seen, but I don't think I could ever hate you."

Merlin turned his head away, overcome with emotion but unwilling to show it once again. "What will you do now?" Merlin asked after he composed himself again, turning to face Arthur.

"What do you mean?" Arthur asked, genuinely puzzled. "With me? What are you going to do with me?" Merlin asked.

"Well, I can give you a list of chores if that is really what you want," Arthur said, frowning at Merlin, "but I thought you might like the day off tomorrow. We could even have a picnic, I'm sure Guinevere would love to get out a bit and she would most likely want to talk to you as well."

Merlin looked at Arthur, a smile slowly forming on his face. "I would like that. I'm sure your chambers can survive another day without a thorough cleaning, though I must warn you, now that you know about me, I will probably use a few cheats on my chores..."

"As if you hadn't done that plenty of times before, you forget Merlin, that stone showed us quite a bit already!" Arthur ruffled his hair and stood up. "Well then, arrange for a picnic tomorrow morning, I will talk to Guinevere and we can set out at dawn."

Merlin stood and walked with Arthur to the door, "Arthur," he said as the king opened the door, "thank you." Arthur nodded and Merlin closed the door after he left. He might have resented being made a servant those first few weeks after Uther rewarded him for saving Arthur's life, but now, Merlin loved his job and the closeness he had with Arthur. What he had said that day, so long ago, still holds true, he would be happy to be Arthur's servant till the day he died. Now that Arthur knew the truth, Merlin was sure that the hurtful barbs and insults would lessen and hopefully, the king would pay a bit more attention to the warnings Merlin gave. Only time would tell...

* * *

The next morning, Merlin stood in the courtyard with three horses ready and saddled. The picnic basket was set on his own horse and as Gwen came down the steps, Merlin held his hand out to her, leading her to her horse and helping her into the saddle. Arthur was speaking to Leon and with a last gesture of his hand, he turned to his own horse, quickly settling himself in the saddle and leading the way to the small stream they would have their picnic at.

It was a bit awkward, at first, but with a decade of friendship between them, they quickly settled into idle chit-chat. It turned a bit more serious when Gwen saw Merlin's wounded leg and the two men exchanged uneasy glances. They had known that the truth would come out at some point but had hoped it would be later.

"Merlin, Arthur, I was under Morgana's control, I know her and how she thinks, there is no way that I did not cause grief and strife the few weeks she was puppetmaster to my will." Guinevere's earnest expression and words reached Merlin deep inside and he took a deep breath before explaining all that had happened.

Gwen reached for Arthur's hand as she heard that he had fallen from his horse. To think that she might have lost him without even knowing it, hurt worse than words could express. Arthur held her hand for a moment before pulling her to his side and draping his arm around her. He knew that the next part would be even harder to deal with.

Her hand lifted to her mouth as she heard Merlin explain that he had followed her to the cells and used his magic to save Tyr, the tears silently fell down her cheek and she made no move to wipe them away. The guilt was setting in and as the story progressed, she felt that her heart would break before the tale was over. It seemed that Merlin could sense something of the sort for he stopped after explaining how he had saved Arthur and returned to the cells.

She knew that there was more that had happened for this story all took place in the span of two days and she had been under Morgana's control for more than a week but the guilt was already weighing on her heart and she tugged her hand free from Arthur's grasp and gently pulled away from him.

As she prepared to stand, to go for a walk or to escape the words that now repeated themselves through her mind, Merlin held up his hand. "Wait."

Gwen stopped but could not face him. Her best friend had been thrown in the dungeons at her word and had then proceeded to save not only her husband but recently herself. There was only so much that she could take.

"Gwen. You know me and you know yourself. You would never do anything to hurt Arthur, Camelot or anyone else. It is not in your nature. What happened was all Morgana and no-one, not me, not Arthur or anyone else who knows about the enchantment, blames you in the least." Gwen moved to protest, to say that she should have done something, been stronger in heart and mind, fought against Morgana's control, something, anything, but Merlin continued.

"Remember that you're not the only one who has been controlled by her." Arthur looks up at that, not knowing what Merlin's referring to. "I was also controlled by Morgana once, Gwen. You even helped Gaius to knock me out a few times." Merlin said it with a laugh, finding the funny side of that event. Merlin did not elaborate and as Arthur watched the two, he realized that there was something that had happened that he knew nothing about. He reached into his cloak and pulled out the stone. With a raised brow, Arthur looked from Merlin to Guinevere and back again. "Sure, go ahead," Merlin said.

"Show me when Merlin was controlled by Morgana," Arthur asked as he turned the stone over and placed it on the ground.

 _Morgana stood with a knife in her hand then leaned forward and cut something. She stood back and a part of a snake was visible in her hand, the head hissing a bit before a multi-headed snake was shown, one head cut off and as they watched, it grew back. It hissed as one in the direction where Merlin was tied to the ceiling with ropes around his wrists._

 _"Fomorroh are creatures of dark magic." Morgana explained. "Even when you cut off their heads, you cannot kill them. Another will just grow in its place." Merlin looked at Morgana in silence, not giving her the pleasure of seeing him squirm. "In the days of the old religion, they were revered by the high priestesses, as they allowed them to control people's minds." Merlin's expression changed to one of concern and dread. "The fomorroh will suck the life-force out of you. Everything that makes you Merlin, will be gone. And in its place will be just one thought, one thought that will grow until it's consumed you completely. One thought that will be your life's work. You will not be able to rest until it's done." Merlin's expression was one of anger and determination. "And that one thought it simple. You must kill Arthur Pendragon." With that, Morgana pressed the snake against the back of Merlin's neck and they could only watch in horror as Merlin writhed in his chains, unable to escape the pain or the creature. When Morgana lifted her hand away, they could see the snake burrowing into Merlin's neck, visible underneath the skin._

There were many scenes and as they watched the day progressed, they were horrified at Merlin's attempts at assassination but also found it extremely entertaining. There was a secret joy at hearing Arthur explain to George that he already had a manservant and that he liked Merlin just the way he was. Merlin smiled at the scene where Arthur found him in the bog and the hug he had bestowed, something that Merlin had never known about. He was embarrassed and horrified at his own behavior toward Gaius and promised himself to make it up to the man. The poisoning attempt had been thwarted by luck and the cross-bow attempt by some fluke or unconscious magic on Merlin's part. There was a bit of humorless laughter when the Arthur in the image said that Merlin was the only one he could trust, while Merlin was standing behind him with a sword pointed at his back. Seeing himself rush at Arthur's unprotected back made Merlin's stomach roll but he could only breath a sigh of relief at his clumsy attempt that ended with him out cold on the floor.

Gwen gave an embarrassed smile when Merlin cast a look at her after her younger self had knocked him out when he had begun to regain consciousness. They all watched as the scenes progressed and when Merlin, in the guise of Dragoon finally killed the mother-beast, they all breathed a sigh of relief.

Merlin turned to face Gwen. "You see Gwen, no matter what you did while under Morgana's enchantment, we forgive you because you did not know what you were doing and had no control over your own will. If you could forgive me back then for attempting to kill Arthur then, of course, we can forgive you for what you did under her control."

Gwen gave a quivering smile but nodded at Merlin's words. What he said was true and made sense but it would take a while for her heart to acknowledge and accept that truth.

 **End chapter 14**


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